


When a Cajun Man Gets the Blues

by crazyTXgradstudent



Category: Chase Landry - Fandom, Swamp People RPF
Genre: Bad Decisions, Cheating, F/M, Fame, Heavy Angst, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:38:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 49,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4443725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyTXgradstudent/pseuds/crazyTXgradstudent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regret is a painful thing...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JustAnotherCumberfictionFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnotherCumberfictionFangirl/gifts).



> This should be a one-shot, but I know myself too well to make that kind of commitment. Why don't my friends keep me from doing this? 
> 
> This is for the lovely JustAnotherCumberfictionFangirl and Mtlovelygirl (who's soon to be a registered user) They are the fuel to my Chase Landry fire!
> 
> I don't own Chase Landry (which sucks big time, but whatever) I also don't own Tab Benoit or his music, but I sure do love him!

**[When a Cajun Man Gets the Blues](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVPCu8pJmVI) **

**_Ma chérie, she has left me for good._**  
**_After I gave my love for so long._**  
**_She's out there with somebody new_**  
**_And I just can't sit here alone, no._**  
  
**_But it's so hard to drive with these tears in my eyes_**  
**_And it takes a long time to get to Baton Rouge._**  
**_And all I want is to hear Raful Neal sing my song_**  
**_Lord, when a Cajun man gets the blues_**

 

 The city didn’t look as bright tonight as it usually did.  The lights weren’t as shiny, and the call of the clubs and parties weren't yelling his name as loudly as they usually did.

Chase leaned over the railing on his balcony, a glass of straight whiskey in his hand as he stared down at the city.  It was nearly 11pm in Los Angeles, and ordinarily, he’d be down there with the rest of the crowd, partying and drinking and having a good time.

But not tonight...

He walked back over to the small table and picked up his cell phone and stared at the image again for what was probably the twelve-thousandth time.

**_Together with their families, Ms. Elizabeth LaPray and Mr. Nathan Cormier invite you to celebrate..._.**

He set his phone down again, fury emanating out of his pores alongside a suffocating sense of regret.  He couldn't read the rest of that invitation as it made him physically ill, and he took a few deep breaths to steady himself.  He clenched the glass so tight in his hands that it nearly shattered, and with a shaky breath, he downed the contents as he picked up the cell again and dialed the number. He sank down in the chair when she finally picked up. He’d been calling all day, and now she finally answers?

“Chase? Please don’t call me anymore.” Lizzie’s voice came over the line, with not a hint of any detectable emotion other than aggravation and quite possibly annoyance.

“Lizzie? Please just listen to me, okay?” On alert now, Chase clutched the phone as if it were a life-line between him and the woman on the other end of the line.

“There’s nothing to say that hasn’t already been said.” Elizabeth’s voice was colder than he remembered, and Chase winced at the disgust he heard in it. “I told you so, Chase. I told you that you’d come crawling back, begging me to forgive you.  I told you so, but you had to go, didn’t you?”

“I’m changed, Lizzie. I’ve changed. I’ve learned my lesson.” Chase pleaded with her, nearly falling to his knees as he did so.

“It’s too late, Chase.”  Her tone was flat, sounding like she didn't give a damn, and it was aggravating the ever-loving dog shit out of him that he couldn't pull even the slightest bit of care from her.

“No it fuckin' isn’t. You still love me as much as I still love you. You’re all I ever wanted, Lizzie. I realize that now. ” Chase stubbornly argued with her, needing her to believe him.

“You’re right, Chase. I’ll probably always love you, but not like that, not anymore.” Elizabeth’s voice grew wistful, but just when Chase thought he was getting through to her, she hardened again. “It’s almost laughable, isn’t it?  The tables have finally turned, haven’t they? I’m not in love with you, Chase, not anymore. Please move on with your life, and let me move on with mine.” 

Chase’s eyebrows drew together as he heard another voice in the background, and he knew instantly that it must be the asshole fiancé of hers. His jaw tensed in anger as he listened intently to the exchange between them, but his heart clenched inside his chest as he heard Lizzie speak to her future husband.  What a difference in her voice when she talked to that other man…

 _“Hold on a minute, baby,”_ Elizabeth called out, breaking Chase's heart into even smaller pieces.   When she turned her attention back to him, he could hear the change in tone, the coldness, that detachment again almost immediate. “I’m going to block your number, Chase.  Don’t call me anymore, and don’t contact me ever again.  It’s over, so please just stop.  I’m sorry, but I can’t do this with you anymore.  I won’t let you hurt me anymore.  Goodbye, Chase.”

“Lizzie!” Chase yelled into the phone, but it was no use – she’d already hung up on him.  He quickly dialed the number back, but it just rang and rang, and he drew the conclusion that she had really blocked him.

She’d finally cut off all contact with him. She'd finally done it.  After all these years, she'd done it.

He leaned back against the chair, stunned and defeated and pissed – all at the same time. He never really thought it would be over, but now it was. In hindsight, he should have known she wouldn’t put up with his shit much longer.  He’d cheated too many times, and he’d broken every single promise he’d ever made her.  Why the hell did it take losing someone to make you realize that what you already had was what you wanted all along? Like the stupid ass that he was, he’d always been chasing some new thing – a girl, a bike, a job prospect - and Lizzie sat back at home, waiting for him as she always had. 

She’d been waiting for him since she was a little girl, having grown up across the street from each other.  Little Elizabeth "Lizzie" LaPray had a crush on him since the day her family had moved in across the street from the Landrys.   She'd followed him around everywhere, annoying him at first, but as Chase became aware of girls, he found she didn't quite bother him so much.  They shared their first kiss when Lizzie was in the 8th grade, and Chase in the 9th.  They started officially dating at about the same time, although her parents didn't know it at the time, for they would have surely killed him and her both.   She'd lost her virginity to him in the back of his pickup truck when she turned 16.   They were together every day after that, and had been high school sweethearts ever since.  At one point they were going to get married, but the new-found fame of the show had put a spell on Chase, and he'd let it got straight to his head.   If you counted from when they first started officially dating when Lizzie was 15, they had been together for almost 8 years before she finally ended it.  Lizzie had put up with more shit than most women ever would have, and he knew just how lucky he was to have had her for as long as he did. 

_But not anymore..._

She’d met someone, she said.  She met someone that treated her right, that loved her and cared for her, and she was done with _him_.  She’d found somebody new, and she’d never let _him_ break her heart in two again.  She was moving on, and _he_ didn’t need to come back.  Those were the words she’d left on his voicemail.  That was a year ago, and now he stared again at the wedding invite she’d sent his brother and sister-in-law.   Jacob admitted that he had hesitated sending it to Chase, but felt his brother should know lest he find out some other way. The wedding was tomorrow, and Chase had been doing everything he could to not call her, but he’d reached his breaking point , in a weak moment, had done it anyway.  A nearly-empty bottle of whiskey, blues music, and lots of regret would lay low any man, even Chase Landry.

There was nothing he could do about it now. He’d been trying for damn near a year to get her back, but it was to no avail.  She was completely done with him.  If it hadn't been apparent before, it surely was now.  By this time tomorrow, she'd be on her honeymoon, wrapped up in that fucker's arms. 

"Son of a bitch," Chase muttered angrily as images began to fill his mind of his Lizzie with someone else.  He was going to drive himself insane - or kill someone - if he didn't stop thinking about this shit.

He grabbed the bottle of whiskey and drank it straight, not bothering to use the glass anymore.  Maybe he should just leave it alone, let her be.  Or maybe he should drive his ass to the wedding and crash it, to stand up and object when the guy asks if anyone objects? Because hell-fucking-yes he objected to this bullshit!  He tossed back the remainder of the whiskey, wincing as it burned going down his already raw throat. 

“Chase?” The sleepy voice called from inside the room, and he groaned, remembering the girl he’d brought back from the bar. What was her name again? Damned if he knew. Another meaningless connection, one that would be forgotten as soon as he got back on the plane, just like all the rest…

Sighing in frustration, he stood up, wobbling from the effects of the alcohol and lack of sleep. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes and cell phone, and headed back into the room, stumbling as he did so.  When he bumped into the bed, he dropped everything on the floor and crawled in next to _whatever-her-name-was_ , and lost himself in the woman, doing everything he could do to forget that Elizabeth LaPray ever existed. 

Fuck her.  Fuck her, and fuck her new husband, and fuck everything they ever had….


	2. Chapter 2

**The following Christmas…**

Chase stared across the road, glaring as he took another sip of his beer.  The Christmas lights that usually put a smile on his face now only served to piss him off even more.  What the fuck was there to be fuckin' merry about? 

Lizzie and her husband were there, across the street at the LaPrays. 

He’d seen the black ford truck pull in earlier, and he’d wondered who it was, but wasn’t sure.  It was only when his dad had found him and told him it was Lizzie, did it sink in.  Troy Landry had told his son that he “better not make an ass of himself,” and so far Chase hadn't, but he _had_ spent the rest of the day out on the front porch much to his family's dismay.   He didn’t give a damn what anyone thought of him, either.  He’d sat out there on the porch for hours, the sun having sank down into the water long ago, drinking beer after beer, and hoping to catch a glimpse of her.  When he finally did see her, it damn near knocked the air out of him. 

The two of them – Lizzie and a man he assumed to be her husband - had walked back out to their truck and pulled out a stroller, what looked like some kind of baby pen, and some bags. Chase felt his heart start pounding in his chest as his adrenaline rose.  _Lizzie had a baby._   She was not only married, but she and her husband had a baby.  And she never even looked towards the Landry’s house, not even once.  They usually exchanged gifts, so to not do so this year was odd to Chase, but now he knew why.

“Goddamnit!” Chase barked as he stood and leaned over the rail on the porch, the toe of his boot propped up on the lower half as he took another long drink of his Bud Light.  He’d lost count of how many he’d had that night, but he knew he was well on his way to being lit pretty good if the pile of empty cans below the porch was any indication.

“What you doin’ out here, Chase Michael?” Jacob walked up next to his brother and leaned over the railing as well.

“What’s it look like?” Chase muttered sarcastically.

“Looks like you’re thinking of doin’ somethin’ stupid,” Jacob shot back, just as testily. “Don’t do it. Whatever it is, don’t do it.” He dearly hoped his little brother would heed his advice and not go across the street, but knew if he did, there would be no way in hell to stop him. Chase Landry was as hard-headed and impulsive as they come…

Chase stood up as he crushed his beer can in his hand and tossed it on the grass in front of the house along with the others.

“Well, I’m just gonna go over and say hi to the LaPrays.” He gave Jacob a sloppy smile, and it was apparent he was buzzed from all the booze he’d consumed that evening as he wobbled a bit. His hand reached out to grab the rail as he began to descend the steps, but Jacob grabbed his brother below the elbow, halting him.

“Don’t go over there, Chase,” Jacob spoke calmly as he tried to get into his brother’s thick skull.

“Get your hand off me, brotha’,” Chase warned back, not bothering to look at his older brother.

“Chase-”

“Fuck off, Jacob!” Chase shrugged his brother’s hand off and stumbled down the steps and headed across the street.  Jacob sighed and rubbed a weary hand over his face as he watched his jackass brother nearly fall in the ditch on the way over to the LaPrays.  Shaking his head, he turned around and went inside to get his daddy and uncle; they’d need all the help they could get with Chase.

* * *

 

Chase marched up onto the LaPray’s front porch and firmly rang the doorbell. He adjusted his hat and straightened out his shirt as he waited. A few moments later, someone answered the door, someone that he’d never seen before.

“Yes?” The young girl asked Chase with an inquisitive look as she peeked from behind the door.

“Yeah…uhm…I’m Chase from across the street. Chase Landry.  We’ve been friends with the LaPrays forever, and I just wanted to come see everyone.” Chase shoved his hands in his pockets as he waited, hoping the girl would buy his story.

“Hold on, let me get my aunt Bonnie, okay?” The girl replied with a smile.  _Aunt Bonnie_ , Chase thought to himself as the door closed. So obviously this girl was a cousin of some kind, as Bonnie was Lizzie’s mother.  Frank, Lizzie’s father, was a very good friend of Troy, and had gone hunting with him many, many times.  The door opened again, and Chase looked up to see Bonnie standing before him. She quickly stepped outside, and closed the door behind her.

“Chase!” Bonnie smiled, but even in his drunken state, Chase could tell that it was forced at best.  His jaw tensed angrily.  So, not only had he lost Lizzie, but now he was not welcome at the LaPray’s house either?  What kind of bullshit was that?

“How are you, Ms. Bonnie?” Chase forced a smile back  as he leaned forward and kissed the older woman on the cheek.

“I’m good, Chase. I talked to your mama, and she said we’d celebrate tomorrow…” Bonnie trailed off with an almost sympathetic smile.  Chase’s eyes narrowed at the conclusion he had drawn; _was she pitying him?_

“Because Lizzie’s here?” Chase blurted out heatedly. “Is that why I ain’t welcome?”

Bonnie held her hands up to calm him down as he got more and more riled up. “Chase, please, we don’t want any trouble, okay? It’s Christmas Eve, so please just go home, okay?”

Just then the door opened and Lizzie stepped outside, a smile on her face and a little baby boy tucked against her hip.  The baby boy had bright, blue eyes, chubby cheeks, and sandy-blonde hair...just like his mama.   Chase was finding it hard to breath.  His chest felt constricted, and he was struggling for each breath as if it were his last.  _Was he having a panic attack? Is that what this was?_ He blinked a few times, trying desperately to clear his head as he stared at the baby on Lizzie's hip.

“Mama?” Lizzie’s smile disappeared as her eyes met Chase’s, all the color draining from her face as she stared at him. “What are you doing here?” She whispered in horror.

“Is that your baby, Lizzie?” Chase couldn’t take his eyes off the child as it fussed against Lizzie’s hip, clearly picking up on the tension in his mama. Chase looked up at Lizzie, his brown eyes pained as he met hers. “Is it?”

“Mama, can you take Cole inside, please?” Lizzie never took her eyes off Chase as she handed her son over to her mother. Bonnie took the fussy baby and quickly went back inside and closed the door behind her as Lizzie crossed her arms over her chest and glared at Chase.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she demanded. Chase stared back at her with that glossy look that drunks get, and she could tell he was doing his damnedest to focus on her. “You’re still a drunk, I see,” she muttered in disgust.

“You have a baby?” Chase asked, completely ignoring her comment.

“Yes, Chase, I have a baby. And a husband.  And a good life!” Lizzie hissed angrily. “God! Why can’t you just go home, Chase? Why do you have to come over and start something?”

Chase rocked back on his heels, shocked at her words directed towards him,  but patted his chest innocently as he tried to explain. “Look, I just came over here to see how your mama was, so I don’t know-”

“God, Chase! You can’t even talk right! You’re so damn drunk I can barely understand you!” Lizzie grabbed the door handle, intending to go inside. “Just go home, Chase.”

Chase grabbed her elbow and spun her around, pushing her up against the door, and the next thing Lizzie knew, his mouth was on hers, and she could taste the sickly sweet smell of alcohol and cigarettes on his breath. He covered her mouth with his, sloppily trying to kiss her as Lizzie frantically shoved at his shoulders to get him off of her.  _What the hell was wrong with him?!_

“Get off me!” She screamed when she could get her mouth free, but Chase maintained his tight grip on her arms.  In an instant, he was jerked off of her, and Lizzie’s wide, panicked eyes found Troy and Jacob, one on each side of Chase, pulling him back off the porch as they yelled at him.  Then, the door opened, and Nathan was there, and all hell broke loose.  Seeing what was going on, Nathan lunged at Chase, grabbing his shirt, and jerking him from Troy and Jacob’s grasp.  Lizzie screamed as Nathan landed a good shot right on the side of Chase’s jaw, knocking him to the ground. 

“Goddamnit!” Troy yelled as he tried to fend Nathan off while Jacob helped his little brother up. Lizzie started crying, begging them both to stop, but it was to no avail.  There was so much screaming and yelling, it was sure to wake the entire neighborhood!

Being the hot-headed ass he was, Chase pushed through Jacob and his father, and drove his shoulder into Nathan’s stomach, driving him backwards, both men tumbling to the ground in tangled mess of flying fists and obscenities.  The two men wrestled for control, neither wanting to concede, and it was a hard-fought battle on both sides.  Chase was strong, and thick, and burly, but so was Nathan;  working off-shore on oil rigs had made Nathan a formidable foe, and Chase struggled to get one-up on the slightly larger man.  More punches were thrown, curses were hurled out by everyone, and it was only when Chase managed to land on top of Nathan and wrap his hands around the man's neck,  that Troy and Jacob were able to pull him off again.  Nathan sat up, gasping for air,  his lips busted and blood trickling from his nose, as he glared at Chase.

“Stupid, fucking swamp rat!” Nathan sneered as he flipped Chase off and spit a mouthful of blood at his feet.

“Fuck you, you motherfucker!” Chase spat back just as angrily as he wrestled against Jacob and Troy’s grip on him. Chase's knuckles were bloody, and he too had blood dripping from his lips, along with a cut above his eye that was quickly swelling.  His shirt was ripped open, loosely hanging on at the arms, and he had smudges of mud all over his face and arms.   Both men would pay dearly for this in the morning, that was for sure.

“Get the fuck on, boy!” Nathan yelled again. “Y'all best take him home before I put him in the hospital,” Nathan pointed a finger at Troy, warning him as Jacob continued to struggle with holding onto his younger brother.  Chase was doing everything he could to break free and get at Nathan again.

“Hey, now, son! Calm ya' ass down, ya' hear?” Troy warned the younger man.  He didn’t take threats to his boys lightly – no matter what they done. “He’s drunk. He don’t mean nothin’ by it.”

Ignoring Troy,  Nathan glared at Lizzie, shaking his head at her before wordlessly walking inside, slamming the door behind him.  Lizzie stood there, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared at Chase.  Troy and Jacob finally released him, and Chase crumpled to the ground at their feet, his own face wet with his own tears.  Troy and Jacob both rubbed their faces wearily, not knowing what to do with such a damn mess.  Chase balefully looked up at Lizzie, just as pathetic and wretched as a wet, muddy dog, and tried to crawl to his feet.

“Lizzie…I’m sorry…” Chase mumbled gruffly.  He clumsily tried to stand, but shucked off his brother’s hand as he tried to help him up.  When he stumbled toward Lizzie, she jumped back, her fear still written all over her face at what Chase had done to her a few moments before.  Never in all their time together had he ever acted that way, and it had scared the shit out of her.  Her heart was still pounding in her chest, her hands shaking and body trembling, even now.

“Lizzie…baby…I’m sorry,” Chase croaked again as he reached out to her.  Lizzie stepped back even further out of his grasp.

“I hate you, Chase Landry,” Lizzie hissed through her tears as she furiously wiped at her face. “I _fucking_ hate you, and I don’t ever want to see you again, do you understand that?  Stay away from me, and stay the hell away from my family!”  With that, Lizzie ran back to her parent’s house and went inside, leaving Chase staring after her in shock, his eyes wide and mouth agape. 

 _She hated him?_   She’d never said that before…. _I hate you, Chase Landry…I fucking hate you_ …Chase felt the air leave his body at her words so harshly thrown at him, and he stumbled back, this time against his brother’s chest.  Thankfully Jacob wrapped his arms around Chase’s waist to hold him up, for he surely would have fallen again.  She hated him.  As drunk as he was, he'd heard that - and felt it - as clear as day.

“Let’s go home, dude. Okay?” Jacob gently mumbled against Chase’s ear as he started turning them back towards their house. 

Hanging back, Troy picked up Chase’s hat from the ground and dusted it off against his leg as he looked back at the LaPray’s house in regret. Tomorrow he’d have to go over and make amends for his son’s behavior, that much he knew. That would be the easy part in this whole mess - Frank and Bonnie were good people, and they'd known Chase could get a little wild at times.  When he turned back towards his home, however, and  watched as Jacob struggled to drag Chase back to their house,  the old swamper’s heart broke.

Chase had been an even bigger mess for quite some time, and he wasn't sure how they were going to drag him out of this hole that he was sinking into again.  Ever since the wedding, he'd been an asshole of the utmost extreme, and they had just been getting him to somewhat normal.  Now, it seemed like tonight would send him right back down into it.  Troy sighed again as he stared down the street in his neighborhood, and smiled wryly at the twinkling Christmas lights that decorated most everyone's house.  If it hadn't been so damn sad, it'd be laughable, everything that happened tonight.

"Merry Christmas," he grumbled as he walked back to his house, mentally preparing himself to deal with his youngest boy.

Apologies were easy – helping your son heal from a broken heart – not so much.  


	3. Chapter 3

**A few months later...**

Chase got the phone call while he was out on the swamp.  He was nearly finished running lines when his daddy called him and said he needed to see him. Chase asked what was wrong, but Troy refused to discuss it over the phone, just saying that Chase needed to hurry and get his ass back to the house. Assured that it had nothing to do with their family, Chase settled down but quickly finished his work and headed back home.  As he walked up the back steps to his house, he could see his Mama and Daddy, along with Bonnie and Frank siting on the back porch. He slowed down as he came up the steps, his heart palpitating wildly as he wondered what the LaPray’s were doing over here.  Was it Lizzie?

“Come on up here, son,” Troy called when he caught sight of his son.

“Mr. and Mrs. LaPray.” He tipped his hat in greeting to the neighbors as he walked up and sat down in a chair next to his mother.

“How you doin’ Chase?” Frank asked kindly. Chase’s eyebrows drew together when he noticed that Bonnie and his mama appeared to be crying, and again he had to tamp down the rising fear that something had happened to Lizzie. It was the only explanation for them all being here and being so upset.

“What’s goin’ on?” Chase looked around, from his father to his mother, and then to the LaPrays.  Somebody better start damn talking now before he freaked the fuck out, that was for damn sure.

“Chase, we wanted to talk to you about something, son,” his mother began, and Chase jerked his eyes towards her when he heard her voice crack.  Yep, she was definitely crying.

“Is somethin' happened to Lizzie?” Chase blurted out, tired of tiptoeing around the damn subject.  He stood up angrily. “Can y’all just tell me already!”

“Sit down, Chase Michael!” Troy barked at his son, and Chase did as he asked and sat back down, but his jaw was tensed in frustration as he ran his hands through his hair.

“Chase, Lizzie and Nathan and the baby were in a car accident.” Bonnie offered up, but quickly broke down again. Frank enveloped her in his arms, holding his wife tightly.

“What do you mean?” Chase asked carefully. “Is she…is Lizzie…” He couldn’t finish the words.

“No, baby, she’s gonna be okay, thank God,” Bernita answered him.  She stood up, walked over to her son and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.  He slumped against his mother in relief at hearing that Lizzie was okay.

“It was bad, Chase.  Eighteen wheeler hit them head-on.  Nathan….he uh…he passed away at the scene, Chase.” Frank continued, his voice strained as he spoke. “Little baby Cole, we don’t know if..” Frank broke down now, unable to finish the sentence as he spoke of his grandson.  He and Bonnie held each other, and Troy leaned over and patted Frank on his knee consolingly.

“The baby’s in bad shape, Chase,” Troy explained. “He and Lizzie are at St. Elizabeth’s in Gonzales, but the baby is being taken to Alexandria to the trauma center.” Troy’s lips were taut as he spoke, and Chase could see the effect this accident had taken on everyone else. He himself didn’t know what he was feeling at the moment, still reeling with relief from hearing that Lizzie was okay but now worried about her little baby. 

“Well, why are you all here, and not at the hospital with them?” Chase stood up again, nearly tipping his chair over in his haste.

“Chase, Lizzie was asking for you,” Frank explained, finally having calmed down enough to speak again. “She’s had a severe head trauma, and she was touch and go at one point, and for whatever reason she was asking for you. We just thought you should know.”

“Asking for me?” Chase asked in disbelief.  Lizzie hated him. Why would she be asking for him, especially at a time like this?

“She was mumbling in her sleep, Chase. She’s been apologizing to everyone for all sorts of things.  Just talking crazy.” Frank continued. “She’s clearly having memory problems, but the one person she keeps asking for is you.”

Chase was still confused, and he looked towards his mother and father for answers. Troy shrugged his big shoulders and shook his head at his son. 

“We think she don't remember much, son. She may not remember Nathan, and she’s not asked about the baby, so we think she’s not remembering either of them. All she keeps asking for is you.” Troy leaned forward and rubbed his face wearily.

“Y’all haven’t told her yet?” Chase asked incredulously.  “She doesn’t know her… _husband_ …is dead?” That word disgusted Chase, but he did his best to not let it show as he spoke. As much as he hated that son of a bitch for taking Lizzie, he would never wish death on anyone, especially when they had a wife and a little baby to take care of.

“No, son, we haven’t told her anything.” Frank answered sadly. “Look, we came here - Bonnie and I – to ask if you would go see her.  Maybe it will help her calm down, or help her remember…I don’t know. We’re reaching for all the help we can get right now, Chase.”

“You want me to go see her?” Chase asked incredulously.  He looked from his parents to Lizzie’s parents. “You think that’s a good idea? What if she starts remembering?” The last time he talked with Lizzie, he’d had the shit beat out of him and she’d told him she hated him  - all in the same damn night.  What if this wasn’t a good idea?  _What if it made things worse?_

“You don’t have to go, Chase, but we’re begging you, son.” Frank leaned forward, his words desperate. “We don’t know what to do, Chase.”

Chase sat for a moment, contemplating what he should do.  He couldn't deny that he wanted to see that Lizzie was alright, but he didn't want to make things worse.  He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, mind made up.  Damn the consequences.  He opened his eyes and gave Frank and Bonnie a strained smile.

“Okay. I’ll go.” Chase pulled his cap down a little tighter and squared his jaw as he agreed to go. He had no idea what he was getting himself into, but he also knew he’d do anything for Lizzie. That had never changed, even if everything else had.


	4. Chapter 4

Chase sat in his truck, white-knuckling the steering wheel as he stared up at the hospital windows.  Somewhere up there, Lizzie was lying in bed, waiting for him. 

_Waiting for him._

He closed his eyes, and thought once again about whether or not this was a good idea.  Bonnie and Frank were already there, and he felt completely awkward being around them after what had happened last time he and Lizzie had spoken - last Christmas was a nightmare to say the least.  Now, here he was, under even more insane circumstances, with one part of him wanting to run away and not look back, and the other part wanting to run up there and scoop Lizzie up in his arms.

_“She’s not your wife, though,”_ he reminded himself bitterly. 

No, she wasn’t his to scoop up, and she wasn’t his to take care of, not anymore.  But, he just as quickly reminded himself,  he had made a promise to the LaPrays that he'd come help as best as he could.  He pulled his cap down, fitting it snugly to his head and hopped out of the truck.  He had a job to do, and that’s what he was gonna do.  He just needed to do his damnedest to keep his heart out of it at the same time. 

* * *

 

After being led by the nurses to Lizzie's door, Chase knocked gently and waited to be let in. He stared down the hall nervously.  Hospitals always did give him the creeps, with today ranking up there as being one of the worst visits ever. The door opened and Frank smiled at him, ushering him inside.

“Hello, Chase!” Frank spoke in a happy whisper. "Thank you for coming, son.  She just took her meds, so the visit won't have to be long.  She'll get sleepy really fast when they kick in."

Chase nodded, but didn't say anything.   His heart thumping loudly in his chest, he stepped in the room, and hastily removed his ball cap and shoved it in his back pocket.  As he followed Frank around the curtain, he was most certainly not prepared for what lay before him. The sight of Lizzie stopped him in his tracks, and he held back at bit so that he could take it all in. 

Lizzie sat in the center of the hospital bed, smiling happily at her mother as they played some card game.  While she was still as beautiful as he remembered, she looked nothing like his Lizzie of old.  She looked tinier than he remembered, and frailer, as he could see the too-big hospital gown hung off a bare shoulder that he could see was still bruised and bandaged.  Her usually plump cheeks were sunk in, and her skin was pale, the summer tan unable to compete with her injuries and blood loss.   She had an IV in her right hand, and a cast from the elbow down on the left.  It was her head, though, that frightened him the most.   Her sandy-blonde curls and waves were nowhere to be seen, those beautiful locks now replaced with tightly wrapped gauze.   Frank had told him that they'd shaved all her hair off.  _A necessity_ ,  he'd said, in order to do the surgery to relieve the pressure on her brain as it swelled.  When she leaned over slightly, he could just barely see the small tube that  was still taped at the base of her skull, and he felt a wave of nausea wash over him.  He’d been warned by Frank and the nurse at what to expect, but even in his wildest imagination it had not been this.  He had no idea that this is what it would look like, that his Lizzie would look this badly battered and broken.  Holy shit but he felt weak at the knees, and he had to grit his teeth and force himself to remain upright.  He shuffled his feet nervously and shoved his hands in his pockets, unsure of what to do. 

Just then, Lizzie looked up and saw Chase standing off in the corner, and her face lit up with a smile.

“Chase!” Lizzie squealed happily as she held up her hand and beckoned him over.  With a strained smile, he stepped forward and stood near her bed.  Lizzie looked up at him adoringly as her parents watched from the chairs on the other side of the bed.

“Hello, Lizzie,” Chase greeted her, mustering up all the courage he could. 

“I know I look horrible, babe, but it’ll look better in no time.” Lizzie patted the bed next to her as she scooted over, indicating that she wanted Chase to sit there.

He looked over at Frank and Bonnie, but they just shrugged their shoulders helplessly.  _Goddamnit!_   Chase took a deep breath and sat down very carefully, taking care not to tug on any wires or move Lizzie in any way.  He was completely shocked when she reached over and grabbed his hand with hers.

“I was wondering if you were ever going to come, babe!” Lizzie teased him playfully. 

Chase did all he could to smile, but his eyes kept getting drawn back to the port, the small tube that he could now see was leading from a spot around the crown of her head. _Was that blood?_   Lord have mercy, he was gonna faint!  He could feel it in his bones, and he swallowed the bile that was rising in his throat, threatening to come up at any moment.

“What took you so long?” Lizzie pouted up at him, forcing him back into reality.  The way she was looking at him - _as if she actually liked him_ \- blew his mind.  She really remembered nothing  - not her dead husband, not her baby, and most certainly how much she hated him.  What a damn mess this was!

“I was…working…you know? I’m sorry, Lizzie.” Chase explained gently, not knowing what else to say.

“But he’s here now, sweetie,” Bonnie smiled over at the pair.  Chase’s eyes went back to Lizzie’s parents, and he stared at them pointedly, wondering if they knew just how uncomfortable he felt at the moment.  He felt an overwhelming sense of guilt at pretending to be someone he was not - a person that Lizzie actually liked. If they did sense his uncertainty with the situation, they surely didn’t let on.  Goddamn but he felt like a fraud right now, and Lizzie was the biggest victim!  If she only knew how much she hated him, how much of an asshole he had been, she’d kick him out in two seconds flat.

“Yes he is!” Lizzie murmured happily, but her words were getting more slurred as the medicine kicked in.  She wrapped her hand around his bicep and snuggled in, doing her best to get as comfortable as possible given the situation. “Will you stay with me, Chase?”

“Uhm…I don’t know, Lizzie.” Chase looked over at her parents, his brows high with uncertainty as he silently begged them to help him.  _What the fuck??_

“Honey, Chase is probably tired,” Frank countered gently. He stood up and walked over to Lizzie’s bed and patted her gently on her shoulder.

“But I feel so much better when he’s here,” Lizzie yawned loudly as she snuggled into Chase’s side even more.  Her eyes closed, and in a matter of seconds, she'd already dozed off, relaxed against his arm as her head lolled against his shoulder.

Chase inwardly groaned, knowing there was no way out. This was the one place he’d wanted to be for the past few years, but not like this. Not like this, and not with Lizzie in the condition she was in. 

_What was that old saying about being careful what you wished for?_

Holy shit.

"What do I do?" He mouthed to Bonnie and Frank, not wanting to wake up Lizzie.  Lizzie's parents were just as much at a loss for what to do as he was, and both shrugged again and shook their heads helplessly.

"Can you lay her back on the bed maybe?"  Bonnie whispered as she stood up and walked over to Lizzie's bedside.  "Here, let me pull her this way and then maybe you can slide out, yeah?"

Chase nodded, and then helped maneuver Lizzie so that she was no longer laying against him, and was instead tucked against the pillows.   All three waited with baited breath to see if Lizzie would awaken, but thankfully she just continued to sleep, her chest rising slow and steady.  Chase gently moved off the bed and stood, hands in pockets again as he stared down at this woman that used to be such a huge part of his life.   He felt the overwhelming urge to cry, his throat constricting tightly as he watched her sleep.  He still loved her, that much had never changed.  No matter what all had happened, he loved her still, and he knew he'd made one of the biggest - if not _the biggest -_ mistake of his life when he screwed up what they had.  Hindsight was twenty/twenty, though, and there was nothing he could do about that now.  _Especially now,_ not when Lizzie didn't remember a damn thing from one moment to the next.  His lips twisted in his grief, and he rapidly blinked, trying to rid himself of the unwanted tears that had welled up.  Goddamn but he felt so fucking helpless!

"Uhmm..." Lizzie mumbled, causing the three other adults to stare down at her in concern.  Lizzie lifted her uninjured arm, reaching for something that only she could see, and Bonnie reached out, grasped her hand and gently brought it back down to Lizzie's chest.   Lizzie smiled in her sleep, and clutched her mother's hand to her breast, holding it gently with her one good hand.

"Stop it...Nathan...stop pulling the covers..." Lizzie mumbled again, a small smile on her face as she dreamed.   "I love you, too, Nate."  

Bonnie wiped at a tear that had rolled down her cheek, all the while still clutching her daughter's hand.  Frank, stood beside his wife, his hand over his mouth as he too tried to control his grief.  

And Chase?  Well Chase stood there alone  - more alone than ever - and heart breaking anew at Lizzie's murmurings.  To see this woman he still loved dream about her dead husband - the husband that she obviously still loved very much - was one of the most painful things he'd ever gone through.  It literally felt like his heart was being pulled from his body, taken out and trampled on the floor beneath her feet. He couldn't take this shit anymore;  he had to get out of this room before he lost it.   Feeling his emotions overwhelm him, he turned on his heel and walked away, back out into the empty corridor.  Once outside the door, he knelt down against the wall, breaking down into a choking, soundless despair as he held his head in his hands, the tears flowing freely down his cheeks and landing on his dusty boots.    

He didn't know how long he stayed there, crouched against the wall as he purged himself of years of regret and heartache.  He felt as if a scab had been ripped off a barely-healed wound,  the visit with Lizzie leaving him raw and in agony.  Wiping his eyes, he stood up and righted his hat on his head and fished his keys out of his pocket.   Without a word to the LaPrays, he headed back out to his truck.   He couldn't do this with Lizzie.  He knew that now, beyond a shadow of doubt that he couldn't do this with her.  He considered himself a strong man, but losing her the first time had nearly broken him.  _Losing her a second time?_    Well, that would surely kill hiim, and he just couldn't do it.  He just wasn't strong enough for that.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Eight days.

It had been eight days since Lizzie had been released from the hospital, and sent home.  Eight days that she had been across the street at the LaPray’s, and eight days that Chase had sat on the porch,  or paced restlessly through the house, wondering what the hell to do with himself.  After that first visit in the hospital, he’d never gone back; he simply wasn’t strong enough to deal with it, nor did he feel it was his place any longer. Lizzie wasn’t his wife, and she wasn’t his problem – no matter how much he might want her to be.  It hadn’t been for lack of trying on Bonnie and Frank’s parts, though, as they’d asked him repeatedly to come by and visit, as Lizzie still called for him.  _What in the actual fuck was he supposed to do?_

“Chase?! Where are ya’, son?” Troy hollered from inside the house.  With a sigh, Chase stood up, took one last lingering look across the street, and headed inside.

“What’s happenin', Daddy?” Chase found his father in the kitchen, digging in the refrigerator. Troy stood up and looked back at Chase as he carried sandwich meat and cheese over to the island.

“About to fill my belly. What you doin’ today, son?” Troy asked as he spread the beginnings of a sandwich out on the counter top  and looked up at Chase from under his hat. He was worried about his son - that was no lie.  Chase hadn’t been acting right ever since the hospital; _hell he hadn’t been acting right since he and Lizzie broke up!_ It was one damn thing after another with this boy…

“Fixin' to go out on the water, check the lines I think. Maybe do a little fishin’,” Chase answered nonchalantly.  He sat down at the island and pulled a piece of lunch meat off his dad’s slice of bread and shoved it in his mouth, earning a glare from Troy.

“Damn it, Chase Michael! Get your own food!” Troy grumbled as he scooted all his sandwich ingredients further back away from Chase. He was surprised to see the beginnings of a smile on Chase’s face at his actions, and he was thankful for that at least.  It was rare to see his youngest smile about anything these days, and Troy was getting desperate to find a solution.

“What about you?” Chase asked.   He had turned his head slightly, and was staring at the front door, almost as if he was waiting for something – or someone – to appear, and Troy shook his head as he watched his youngest. 

Ever since Lizzie had come home, Chase had been on edge – either sitting on the damned porch and watching the LaPray house like a hawk, or sitting by the phone, agitated as all get out.  While he usually spent a lot of time out with friends or doing his own thing, he’d been uncharacteristically present lately, sitting downstairs with Troy and his Momma more than usual.  Troy assumed it was because Chase was wanting to know about Lizzie, but the boy was too damn hard-headed to just ask.  Troy piled his sandwich together and sat down across from his son.

“Chase…look son…I know you gonna do what you gonna do, but why don’t you just go over there?” Troy began, wincing as Chase’s brown eyes flashed back at him warily.

“Daddy..." Chase began to argue, but Troy cut him off, wagging a thick finger in his son’s face to quiet him.

“No, son! Now you listen to me. You’re drivin’ yourself nuts, son. Me and your Momma, too. You moping around the house like a damn slug, getting’ pissed off over everything.” Troy lifted his sandwich as he stared at his hard-headed son.  Damn boy was just like him, through and through!  “Why don’t you just go over there and see what’s happenin', son?”

Chase’s jaw hardened, and Troy felt his heart ache for his youngest.  He couldn’t imagine what Chase was going through right now, but he also knew that none of them could keep going on this way.  They were either going to go insane or kill each other, and he had no idea which would come first.

“I’m goin' out.” Chase muttered as he stood up and pulled his hat down on his head.  He stalked over to the back door and flung it open, ignoring his father’s voice calling after him.

“Chase! Godamnit!” Troy bellowed, but he knew it was no use.

A few moments later, he heard the sound of a boat starting up, and he knew he’d lost the battle again. Chase would be out all day – and possibly night – if the past few days had been any indicator.  Sighing, he sat back down in a huff and took a bite of his sandwich.  As soon as he finished, he was going over across the street and checking on Lizzie himself.  Enough of this shit.


	6. Chapter 6

Troy knocked on the door to the LaPray’s, feeling nervous in his gut at what was to come. He’d not seen Lizzie since she’d been back – only heard through bits of information from Bernita – and wasn't entirely sure of what to expect when he saw her. Frank had said her memory was coming back in spurts, and she finally remembered the baby, but Nathan was still something she seemed to only dream about. The doctor had explained that it could be the trauma of it all causing Lizzie to continue blocking Nathan’s death, that she didn’t want to believe it, so somehow she was subconsciously blocking it. It was all damn scary, and Troy didn’t envy any of the LaPrays for what they were going through. The door opened and Bonnie stared out from the screen, smiling warmly at her neighbor.

“Troy Landry! Come on in!” She opened the door wide, and Troy stepped in.  Once inside, he pulled his hat off and hugged Bonnie. “What brings you by?”

“Thought I’d come by and check on little Lizzie,” Troy spoke softly, nervously, as he fidgeted with his hat in his hands. “How is she?”

“Well, she’s doing a lot better, thank god!” Bonnie motioned for Troy to follow her down the hall.

“Her memory is getting better. Wounds are healing really good. They took out the port at the hospital, and the gauze is gone, so her hair will start growing back soon.”  They stopped before a door at the back of the house, and Troy felt his heart speed up with nervousness at what was behind the door. Bonnie looked at him kindly.

“She’s really not too bad off now, Troy. Other than Nathan…” Bonnie trailed off, her voice catching as she mentioned her former son-in-law's name. Troy reached out and patted her shoulder consolingly, not knowing what else to do as Bonnie took in a deep breath and put a brave face back on. “Let’s go in, okay? She’ll be happy to see you.”

Troy swallowed hard and followed Bonnie into Lizzie’s room, hoping to god he’d be alright.

“Mr. Landry!” Lizzie grinned as she caught sight of the two. She sat up, rearranging the blankets around her so that they covered her more fully.

“I’m sorry I look a mess.” She self-consciously patted her head with her hand, doing the best she could to tamp down the spikes, but it was futile;  there was hardly enough hair there to do anything with.

“Oh, Lizzie-baby, you’re just as beautiful as ever!” Troy exclaimed with a genuine smile. She really did look a lot better than when he’d seen her in the hospital, unconscious, with all those wires sticking out, and bruises everywhere. Her hair was already growing in a bit, the dark-blonde spikes giving her an almost pixie-like appearance.  Her cheeks were fuller, the color having returned, and there was a glow to her skin, one that wasn’t there before.  She was a beauty, little Lizzie, and always had been. Chase was a stupid ass for letting this girl get away, that was for damn sure!  Lizzie scooted up some more, propping herself against the pillows as she peered around Troy.  Her smile wavered a bit.

“Chase isn’t coming?” She asked hopefully, her smile not quite reaching her eyes any longer as she stared up at Troy.

“Ah…” Troy looked over at Bonnie, wondering what the hell to say to this.

“He’s working, sweetie,” Bonnie answered quickly. She sat down on Lizzie’s bed, patting her daughter’s leg gently. “I’m sure he’ll stop by as soon as he can though.”

Lizzie frowned, her brows drawing together  as if she were trying to figure something out in her head.

“When did I see him last?” She asked, that spot between her eyes still creased in concentration as she stared up at her mother.

“Oh just a while ago, sweetie!” Bonnie answered vaguely, and she glanced over at Troy, silently begging him to go along with her ruse. Thankfully, Troy nodded and smiled gently at Lizzie.

“Yeah, he’s out on the water.”  Damn, but he felt something awful lying to this girl, but what else could he do? Content with their answers, Lizzie relaxed and lay back against the pillows, a smile on her face yet again.

“So, your mama says you doin’ really good, huh?” Troy sat down on the chair next to the bed. “You look a whole lot better, Lizzie.” Lizzie self-consciously rubbed her head, grimacing yet again at the feeling of the short hair there.

“Yeah, being bald is great!” she quipped, drawing a chuckle from her mama and Troy.

“Oh it’ll grow back, girl,” Troy reassured her, winking in reassurance. Poor girl!  He couldn't imagine what she was going through right now.

“She’s still beautiful,” Bonnie murmured. She leaned over and stroked her hand along Lizzie’s jaw tenderly.

“Oh yes she is!” Troy winked at Lizzie, earning a blush from the young woman.

“So, mama says we’re going to go visit Cole in a few days.” Lizzie swallowed hard, and her eyes got glossy with tears as she spoke of her child.  “He’s still in Alexandria, but the doctors say he’s gonna be fine.”

Troy looked over at Bonnie, wondering how to proceed with this new info.  _How the hell did Lizzie remember her baby, but not the baby’s father?_ Why was she still asking for Chase? Lord, what a nightmare!

“Well that’s a blessin’ for sure, Lizzie! I'm so glad to hear that you and the little baby gonna be okay.” Troy shuffled his hands together, uncomfortable to say the least, but did his best to maintain a positive countenance.  The last thing Lizzie needed was more stress and worry, poor thing!

Over the next half-hour, Troy, Lizzie, and her mother spoke of menial things, as Bonnie tried to keep the subject light so as not to upset Lizzie any further. Lizzie and her family would be traveling up to Alexandria in the next day or two, and would spend the rest of the time there until baby Cole could come home. Thank god for that! Troy didn’t know how Lizzie would have survived if she’d lost both her husband and her son in the accident.  He suddenly felt an urge to run home and hug Bernita and the boys, to hold them tight and tell them how much he loved them, and he was thankful when the visit finally came to an end.  With a gentle hug, he told Lizzie that Bernita would be by soon, and that he’d come visit again. And yes – he promised with a heavy heart – he’d tell Chase to come see her just as soon as the boy got done working. 

As Troy stood on the porch with Bonnie, he felt the unfamiliar prick of tears at his eyes, and he blinked rapidly, doing his best not to break down as he stared across the street at his own house.  It took a lot to make Troy Landry cry, but damned if he wasn't about to! 

“It’s a…it’s a shame what happened, Bonnie.” Troy’s voice was a gruff whisper, as he didn’t trust himself to speak any other way. That damned lump in his throat was nearly choking him.

“Yeah, yeah it is, Troy,” Bonnie agreed sadly. “But I have to be thankful that at least she’s alive, and the baby’s alive. That’s all I can do right now is be thankful that they’re still with us.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure.” Troy swiped a hand across his face. “About Chase…Bonnie, I don’t know what to do.” He turned around, pained brown eyes meeting Bonnie’s clear, blue ones. She shrugged and shook her head, at a loss herself.

“We're just playing it by ear, Troy. I don’t expect anything from you, or from Chase. I know that they have a history, and I know it was bad, and I don’t want to make things worse for anyone.” Bonnie wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m hoping that when she sees the baby, her memories will become clearer. I can’t imagine this has been easy on Chase, either.”

“No, no it ain’t.” Troy stared over at his house again, wondering on his son's whereabouts.  “He’s been working non-stop, and I’m worried about that boy, Bonnie.”

"Well, I don't think we need to pressure either of them to do anything they don't wanna do, you know?"  Bonnie sniffled as she wiped at her nose.   "They're both adults, and both have much different lives.  Let's just let whatever happens, happen, okay?"

"Yeah, for sure," Troy agreed, and pulled his hat back on his head.  "I'm gonna get home, okay?  You call us if you need anything, okay?  Any help at all, you just holler, ya' hear?" 

"Okay, Troy.  Tell Bernita thank you for the food, and that I look forward to visiting with her soon."

With a final hug, Troy headed back across the street and up the steps of his house.  If he thought that visit would settle his nerves, he had been sadly mistaken.  With the way Lizzie was asking for Chase, and the way Chase was behaving, he was more uneasy than ever.  He just didn't see how this was going to work out, and he was worried that those two kids were gonna repeat history all over again. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chase wearily pulled the boat up to shore, his back screaming in agony as he did so. He was sunburned, probably dehydrated, aching all over, and tired as fuck. Exhausted was an understatement, but it was a welcome buffer against feeling anything else at least.  As long as he wore himself out, he'd usually just pass out,  and then he'd do it all over again tomorrow.   Once he’d tied the boat off and downloaded everything, he climbed the hill up to the house and dragged himself up the steps. He just wanted a shower and a beer, and he’d be straight for the rest of the evening.  So, when he saw his dad waiting on the back porch for him, he was understandably aggravated; he didn’t need this shit, not tonight for sure.

“Hey, son,” Troy greeted his youngest as he came up the steps. “Ya catch anything?”

“A sunburn,” Chase grumbled as he pulled his cap off and ran a hand through his hair.  He stood awkwardly, wanting to leave but not wanting to be unnecessarily rude to his father. 

“Well, look, I ain’t gonna beat around the bush,” Troy took a sip of his beer and stood up. “I went to see Lizzie today.”

“Daddy, look, I can’t deal with this right now, okay?” Chase gritted out from between clenched teeth. Fuck!  He should have known he wouldn’t be that lucky this evening.

“Well, listen to me, damnit!  She’s looking better, Chase. She remembers her baby, but she still don’t remember Nathan,” Troy gently explained.  Chase’s jaw tightening at the mention of the other man’s name did not go missed. “I know this has to be tough on you son, but-”

“What do you mean, _tough on me?_ I’m not the one who got in a wreck!” Chase barked as he jammed his finger into his chest. “You have no idea what I’m going through right now, do you? But y’all keep shovin’ this shit in my face!  You, Momma, the LaPrays!” Chase ran his tongue around his teeth, doing everything he could to keep his emotions in check as he stared off to the trees. He should have never come back, should’ve just stayed out on the damn water all fuckin’ night!

“Chase…son…look,” Troy walked over to his son and placed a hand at his shoulder. “I know it’s hard on you, and I know it’s hard on Lizzie, but you gotta take it easy, son.”

Chase looked back at his father, and shook his head as he struggled with his sadness, but it ultimately won out and his face crumpled with the weight of his grief as he reached up and covered his face with his hand in shame.  Stunned by such a display from the usually playful, teasing Chase, Troy pulled his son in for a tight hug.  Both men were more than a little shocked at the raw emotions that were being pulled from each other, and that were being so openly shared.  Hearing his son’s breath hitch, Troy tightened his grip on his son’s back and held him close.  It had been a long, long time since Chase Michael had cried, and it was usually his Momma doing the comforting.

“It’s gonna be alright, Chase.” Troy spoke those words, hoping to soothe his son in some way, but not having a damn clue if they were true or not. What kind of damn situation was this they was in, and how in the hell did you find your way out of it? How he wished he could take this pain away from Chase, and from Lizzie. Your children should never have to go through things like this!

“I wanna go see her so bad, Daddy,” Chase admitted as he pulled back from his father.  Both men wiped their eyes discreetly, not wanting to let on that they’d both been crying.

“Then go, son!” Troy urged him.

“It’s wrong, Daddy.  She thinks I’m that guy she used to care about, and she’s forgettin' all the dumb shit I did to her.” Chase shook his head sadly. When he looked up at Troy, it nearly broke his father’s heart to see the pain reflected back at him, and in that moment he again silently prayed that the good Lord would let him trade places with his son, to be the one to bear this burden so that Chase didn’t have to.

“She’s asking for you, son.  Every day, she asks for you. She asked for you today when I was there.”

“Because she doesn’t remember!” Frustrated, Chase walked over to the railing and placed his hands on it as he stared out over their property. “Right now, she’s only remembering the good stuff.” He turned to look at his father, his face stricken with grief and regret again. “What happens when she remembers that she hates me? What do I do then?”

Troy crossed his arms over his chest and lifted his chin as he stared at Chase. Lord forgive him for what he was about to say….

“Look, Chase, I may be wrong in sayin’ this, but this might be a second chance for you and Lizzie. You know, everything happens for a reason. We can’t explain it, and only God knows why he does what he does, but this might be a chance for you two to make it work this time.” Troy shrugged as Chase stared back at him in disbelief.

“She’s got a baby, Daddy. One that ain’t mine,” Chase protested weakly.

“So? Brandon ain’t mine, but I love him the same,” Troy countered easily.

“It’s not the same. Momma didn’t hate you the way Lizzie hates me.” Chase turned back to the backyard, his shoulders slumped in defeat. “And when she remembers, she’ll hate me even more for pretending to be somethin’ I’m not.”

Troy stared at his son’s back, knowing that nothing he said or did right now would likely make an impact on Chase. That boy was his likeness in every way, and stubborn to the end. Chase would have to make a decision on his own about what he was gonna do – no one else could do it for him.

“Alright, son. I’m gonna leave it alone for now.” Troy walked over to the railing and stood by his son, as he too, stared out into the darkness. “Lizzie needs you though, that much I know. Whether she realizes it, or you realize it, y’all need each other.” He patted his son on the back gently.

“I just hope y’all don’t waste any more time. You’ve been moping ever since you broke up with her.  Either move on, or take the chance that’s been offered. You can’t stay in the same place forever, son.”  Troy leaned over and pulled his son to him by his cheek and kissed him on his temple.  "I love you, son."

"Love you, too, Daddy,"  Chase murmured. He leaned over the railing, his thoughts swirling about as his father went inside.  What the hell was he supposed to do?  He knew he couldn't keep going the way he was.  He was running himself into the ground, that he could feel in his bones.  He was on a collision course for a physical and mental breakdown if something didn't change, and change soon.  

He wanted to go see Lizzie;  a truer statement had never been uttered.  He wanted to go to her and beg her to give him a chance.   He wanted her to see that he wasn't the jackass he used to be, that he'd changed.   He still felt terrible about treating her the way he did, but how could he convince her that he'd changed so much?   That he was no longer that same man.   It was so long ago, and they were so young, and everything was so different now.  Maybe his daddy was right, and this was a second chance, but goddamn! Why did it have to be under such circumstances?  Lizzie had a little baby boy.  She was married, even though she was a widower now.  How did he compete with this stuff?  _And could he compete?_   Could he raise another man's child?  Would Lizzie even give him a chance?  Once she realized who he really was, and she remembered all the shitty things he'd done to her, would she even want to have anything to do with him? 


	8. Chapter 8

Another week had passed and still Chase had yet to go and see Lizzie.  She was back, and she had her baby with her this time.  Chase knew this because his mother had ridden up to Alexandria with Bonnie since Frank had to work that day.  Chase didn’t know what to feel about his family’s continual involvement in Lizzie’s life, but what the hell could he do? 

Agitated at home, he stepped off the bottom step, intent on leaving without being noticed, but his mother caught him before he could sneak out.

“Chase? Is that you?” she called from the kitchen. “I need your help, please!”

Rolling his eyes, Chase headed back to the kitchen, but quickly righted himself before his mother saw him.  His daddy would tear his ass up if he ever disrespected his Momma!

“Ma’am?” he asked as he walked over to his mother.  She had a mess going on in the kitchen, and he could see that she was cooking what looked like food for an army!

“Hey, baby,” Bernita turned to her son with a smile. “Look, I need a hand okay? I need you to run this food over to the LaPrays.”

“Mom-”

Bernita held her hand up as she dismissed Chase’s reluctance.

“Bonnie is there, so you won’t even see her, Chase!” She pushed the food towards him.  It was a brown bag full of Tupperware containers, and he stared back up at his mom in consternation.

“What the hell is all this?”

“Watch your mouth, Chase Michael!” Bernita wagged her finger at him as she placed one more container in the bag. “It’s just some stuff I fixed for them. Trying to help out the best I can.” She wiped her hands on her apron and turned back around to the stove, stirring something else that was bubbling away.

Even though going to the LaPray’s house was the thing he least wanted to do, he couldn’t hide his admiration for his mother, and he smiled just a bit. She was one of the sweetest women he knew, and he was damn lucky to have her as his mama.  Still, he didn’t want to go over to the LaPrays.  _No fucking way._  

“Can’t they come get it? I mean…I was just about to leave, and…” Chase trailed off as his mother cut her eyes at him. “Okay, I’ll run it over real quick.”

“Thank you, son.” Bernita walked over and patted Chase’s cheek sweetly as she smiled up at him. “Tell Bonnie I’ll be over later, okay?”

Doing his best to control his rising anxiety, Chase lifted the bag up and headed over to the LaPray's house.  _Just drop it off and be done with it_ , he mentally coached himself.  _Just drop it off with Ms. LaPray, and be on your way.  No big deal._

He nervously pressed the doorbell and waited, his hands sweating under the weight of the paper bag.  No answer, so he rang the bell again.  The cars were here, so what the fuck?   Finally, he heard some footsteps coming down the hall and towards the door, and he swallowed hard, wanting this to be over with. 

He nearly dropped the bag when the door opened and Lizzie stood before him.

She wasn’t smiling this time – _did she remember?_ – and she had no hair.  Well, she had a little hair, but nothing like before.  So they had shaved it all off for real!  He assumed it was covered with the gauze, but fuck he didn't really think it was all gone!  He was stunned, and he knew his mouth must be gaping as he stared down at her.  Lizzie stared up at him, almost as if she was seeing him but not quite seeing him.  It was unnerving, and felt as if she were looking right through him.  Damn but she looked tired!

“I…uhm…I was supposed to give these to your mom…” Chase stammered out pathetically.  Lizzie continued to stare up at him, her blue eyes cold and distant. From somewhere in the back of the house, he heard a wail, and he knew it was the baby.  Blinking a few times, Lizzie sighed and opened the door wider.

“Can you put them on the kitchen counter? I need to go get Cole.”  Without waiting for his answer, she turned on her heel and left him standing there, dumbfounded. 

He watched as Lizzie disappeared down the hall and into the back of the house.  That had not gone the way he thought it would, and he was fucking scared shitless now. _Did he go inside? Did he take the groceries back?_   Groaning up at the sky, he stepped in the house and headed towards the kitchen, knowing his mother would skin his hide if he let the food go to waste. He could still hear the baby crying, the screeching getting louder and louder, and he winced at the noise. 

Damn.  Were babies always that loud?

He quickly put the containers in the fridge, and was just about to leave, when he heard what sounded like someone crying.  It wasn’t the baby this time, and he was immediately concerned. _Was it Lizzie?_   God damn it!  He knew he couldn’t just leave her like that, not knowing if she was okay.  What kind of man would he be if left her alone like that and didn't even check on her?  He carefully crept down the hall, wanting to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb Lizzie, if in fact he was wrong. When he reached the room that used to be Lizzie’s, he could hear the baby getting louder and fussier by the second. He pushed the door open, and his heart broke. 

Lizzie was sitting in the center of the floor, cross-legged, and trying desperately to get her son to calm down, and she was most definitely crying.  Almost as bad as the baby. He could almost feel the frustration emanating off her, and he immediately felt like a jackass for trying to duck out like he wanted to.

“Lizzie?” Chase called softly as he stepped into the room.

“What do you want?” she sniffled as she turned to look at him. Her eyes were red-rimmed, and she just looked miserable, but he could see the hatred she had for him reflected back at him.  The baby continued to scream in her arms, bowing his little body up in an effort to get away from her. Chase walked over to her and instinctively held his arms out.

“Here, let me try, okay?” He motioned for her to hand him the baby, but she just stared up at him in shock.  He knew how crazy it was, but he couldn’t let her suffer like this.  He had to try. “Come on, Lizzie. Lemme' see if I can calm him down, okay? Lemme' help you.”

Lizzie reluctantly handed her son over to Chase, but watched him like a hawk as he cradled her baby.  _She must be completely desperate,_ Chase thought to himself, _to let him hold her baby_.  Chase placed the angry baby against his chest and patted his back, just like he had done with little Ridge all those years ago. The baby continued fussing, but it seemed to be lessening, and Chase thanked God in heaven for having some mercy on all three of them.

“Hush now, little man,” Chase spoke softly as he patted baby Cole’s back. “You makin’ a fuss over nothin’, see?” Chase continued rocking and patting as he walked around the small room,  and finally the baby let out a man-sized burp, earning a surprised chuckle from Chase.

“See all that fuss about nothin’, bubba!” He walked around the room, gently rubbing the baby’s back as he cradled him against his chest. “You gotta chill, little dude. Stressin’ out your mama like that ain’t no good, okay?”

Lizzie watched Chase carry her baby, stunned, and shocked, and pissed off, and sad, and every other emotion in the world. This wasn’t right - he shouldn’t be here.  He was an ass, and she hated him, and here he was, taking care of her and her baby.  Her eyes welled up with tears again, and she wiped at them angrily, drawing Chase’s eyes over to her.

“Lizzie? Baby, you alright?” Chase was concerned, wondering what he had done now to piss her off.  He still hated to see her cry.

“No, Chase! I’m not alright!” she hissed angrily, but quietly, causing Chase’s brows to knot together in confusion.

 _Hadn’t he done something good for her?_ Cole was all but passed out against his chest, his tummy finally settled and giving him some relief.

“Look, Lizzie, I only wanted to help, okay?” Chase whispered back. “Why don’t you just go lay down for a minute? I can help you out, okay?”

“Give me my baby, Chase!” Lizzie demanded as she held her hands out.  Sighing, Chase did as she asked, but as soon as he removed Cole from his chest, the baby started fussing again.  Chase arched an eyebrow at Lizzie as he pulled baby Cole back to his chest, shaking his head as he did so.

“Go lay down, Lizzie.” Chase ordered her gently as he positioned Cole back against his chest, and once again the little boy settled down, yawning as he nuzzled Chase’s shoulder. Chase walked over to Lizzie’s bed, and cocked his head, indicating that he wanted her to lay down.  She glared at him, but did as he asked, and crawled on the bed. Chase followed, and sat down carefully, not wanting to disturb the baby as he finally slept, and he wasn't surprised to hear Lizzie moaning and grumbling as she covered up with her blanket. When she was finished, all Chase could see was the top of her head, and he winced when he saw the slightly red scar from where she’d been cut on the back of her head. Feeling a bit nauseous, he turned back around and faced away from Lizzie as he stared towards the door.  Honestly, he was still in shock that she let him hold her baby.  _What the fuck?_

“Just know that I still hate you, Chase Landry!” Lizzie whispered, sounding half-pissed off and half-asleep. Chase stiffened, closing his eyes at her contemptuous words, but he knew he deserved nothing less from her.  What a fucked up situation this was, and all because he couldn't be a damned man and keep his dick in his pants!

“I know you do, Lizzie,” Chase murmured sadly. "And I don’t blame you. I’d hate me, too, if I were you.”

Chase sat for a few moments, gently patting Cole’s back as he waited, for what he did not know. Not hearing another word from Lizzie, he turned around and was surprised to see that she had fallen fast asleep, her beautiful brows drawn together in her anger still.  He reached over and pressed his fingertip at the crease, softening it gently. Lizzie moaned a bit, but didn’t waken, and Chase let out the breath he’d been holding.  Not knowing what else to do, he leaned back, the limp baby still firmly encased in his arms, and rested his head back against the headboard and stared up at the ceiling.  

What the fuck had he gotten himself into? He was back in Lizzie’s bed, but now it was with Lizzie _and her baby_ , and he was fucking freaking out. She hated him. Obviously she remembered now just how much. 

Feeling helpless, he scooted down so that he could rest his head on the pillow, but made sure he was far enough away from Lizzie so that he didn't touch her.  He grabbed the baby's little blanket and covered him with it, still holding him close to his chest, and closed his eyes.  He knew he couldn't leave now, not when both Lizzie and little baby Cole were finally getting what appeared to be some much-needed rest.  

How the hell did he get himself in these situations?  Goddamnit all to hell. 

* * *

 

When Bonnie came home a half-hour later, that was how she found them.  Lizzie was curled up next to Chase, her worn-out body pressed up against him, obviously seeking warmth and respite as she pressed her nose against his side.  Chase's hat had tipped down over his face, and he had both large hands firmly wrapped around baby Cole, one cradling his head and one on his tiny backside, holding the infant snug against his broad chest.   Baby Cole was sleeping, mouth open and peaceful.

Bonnie thought about waking them, but the sight before her broke her heart into so many tiny pieces, that she couldn't bring herself to do it.  Why had these two broken up in the first place?  She knew why - Lizzie had told her everything - but even Bonnie knew that for all the love that Lizzie had for Nathan, it would never compare to what she felt for that Landry boy.  It never did. 

When would these two wake up and see what was right in front of them? 

Wiping at her eyes, Bonnie slowly closed the door, leaving the three of them to rest, hoping that maybe this was a start.  Maybe, just maybe, they could mend the wounds, and somehow find their way back to each other. 


	9. Chapter 9

Feeling something moving against his face, Chase groggily reached up and pulled on his cap, but felt resistance as he did so.  He pulled his hat to the side, and was momentarily shocked to see a pair of bright, blue eyes staring back at him.

 

Baby Cole had the brim of Chase's hat shoved in his mouth and was gumming it for all he was worth, babbling and drooling all the while.   He stared at Chase, his blue eyes as serious as all get-out, and Chase couldn’t control his grin at the tenacity of this little man.  Being as quiet as possible, Chase held Cole firmly as he scooted up, reclined again against the headboard, and looked over at Lizzie.  Poor girl was still fast asleep, her beautifully fully lips slightly parted as she slept.  Chase immediately felt guilty for having those thoughts about Lizzie, especially after all she'd just been through.

“Let’s get out of here, okay?” Chase whispered  to Cole as he gently scooted off the bed.

Cole grasped his hat and held it firmly against his mouth as Chase carried him out of the room and down the hall. When he rounded the corner, he was shocked to see Bonnie sitting in the kitchen at the table, reading the newspaper.  She looked up, smiling when she saw them, and stood.

“There’s my little man!” Bonnie cooed as she happily took Cole from Chase. She kissed the baby on his cheeks, nuzzling him as he continued playing with Chase’s hat. Bonnie looked over at Chase and smiled again. “That your hat?”

“Uh…yeah…” Chase mumbled uncomfortably, and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Look, Bonnie, I came over to bring groceries, and Lizzie was upset and the baby was crying, and…you know I don't mean to intrude, okay?”

“Chase, please don’t apologize to me.” Bonnie reached out and patted him on his arm. “I’m so glad you could help Lizzie. She’s been really struggling lately, and I’m worried about her.” Bonnie carried Cole over to the counter and  held him with one arm as she quickly made him a bottle. 

Cole, seeing food, dropped Chase’s hat and reached for the bottle with both hands, and greedily started sucking on it.  Chase leaned down and snatched his hat up, grimacing a bit as he saw the slobber all over the bill.  Little guy did a number on his hat, that was for sure!

“It seems like he liked your hat, Chase,” Bonnie teased as she sat down at the table. She nodded over at the chair opposite her, inviting Chase to sit. He grinned wryly as he set his hat on the table and sat down in the chair.

“He was an angry little dude, that was for sure!"  Chase continued smiling as he stared over at the baby.  He was cute little guy, his sandy-blonde hair a little darker than Lizzie's, but his cheeks were just as full as his mama's, and there was no doubt where he got those beautiful blue eyes from.  Chase's brows furrowed as his mind wandered, wondering what could have been different if he'd not screwed things up so badly with Lizzie.  Would they have had a baby? Would he or she have blue eyes and blonde hair like Lizzie, or would they be dark like him?  

"Chase?"  Bonnie called again, a warm smile on her face as she looked over at him.  "You alright, son?"

Chase squeezed his eyes shut to try to rid himself of those images of he and Lizzie with their own baby, knowing it was no good for him to dwell on that.  _Stupid, stupid ass!_

"Yeah, just tired I guess."  He forced a smile as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.   Tired of pretending, that's what the fuck he was tired of!   _What the fuck was he even still doing here?_

"Lizzie's been having a rough time of it."  Bonnie stated as she stared over at Chase.  "Once she saw the baby, it was almost like her memories came flooding back.  It seemed like it overwhelmed her, and she's not been well since we picked up Cole." 

"Yeah, she said as much to me," Chase's mouth screwed up as he remembered her words flung at him before she fell asleep.   _Just know that I still hate you, Chase Landry._   Damn, but that still stung like a bitch...

"I think the baby triggered everything that she'd been blocking, or didn't remember.  I don't know, it's all so hard to explain and understand," Bonnie continued.  She set the bottle on the table and lifted Cole to her shoulder, trying to get him to burp.  "Cole's been picking up on her mood I think, and he's been fussy, which only makes it worse."   Bonnie patted Cole's back repeatedly, trying to relieve his little belly. 

"She was cryin' when I found her earlier.  He was cryin',"  Chase nodded at Cole," and she was cryin' just as hard.  I can't believe she handed him over to me like that."  Chase shook his head again as he remembered how quickly Lizzie had handed over her baby.

"The doctor said she might have some postpartum depression."  Bonnie shifted Cole on her shoulder, still patiently patting his back as she waited for him to burp.  "She kinda goes in between wanting to hover over Cole all the time, or wanting nothing to do with him.  I think she's reminded of Nathan..."  Bonnie trailed off as she realized what she said, and she looked at Chase apologetically.  "I'm sorry, Chase. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable."

"Nah, I'm good,"  Chase quickly dismissed Bonnie's concerns with a wave of his hand, although he felt again like he'd been punched in the gut.  There it was again, the glaring reminder of just how far removed he was from Lizzie's life.  She was still grieving over her dead husband, and he would do well to remember that before he got any stupid ass ideas in his head about some kind of reunion between him and her.  It just wasn't gonna happen.   Doing his best to pretend disinterest, he stood up and picked up his hat;  it was time to get the fuck out of this house before his head exploded.

"I guess I'm gonna get on then."   He smiled over at Bonnie and tipped his head.  "If y'all need anything, let us know okay?  Momma is sure worried about y'all."

Noticing the abrupt change in him, Bonnie stood and walked around the table to stand before him.  Cole chewed on his chubby fists as she continued patting his back.

"I've known you since you was a little boy, Chase Michael,"  Bonnie stared up at the young man before her, her heart breaking for the predicament he was in.  "I know you still care for Lizzie, and I know deep down, she still cares for you."

"Ms. Bonnie,"  Chase warned, rolling his head and trying to look anywhere but at the woman before him, but she wouldn't let him.  She placed a gentle hand on his tense forearm, and he closed his eyes as he leaned his head back, patiently enduring what he knew was well-intentioned advice. Goddamn!  He didn't need this in his life right now, he really did not!

"Just don't give up, okay?"  Bonnie encouraged him gently, oblivious to - or not caring about -  the hard set of his jaw. 

Chase sighed and stared down at her, his eyes landing on the back of Cole's head.  Like a bucket of ice-cold water, the reality came crashing back down again.  Lizzie wasn't his wife, and that wasn't his baby.  He had no place here, and no business being here.  It wasn't his job;  he'd fucked that up long ago. 

"Call us if you need anythin', okay?"  Chase repeated, completely dismissing Bonnie's advice. 

He leaned down and quickly pecked the older woman on her cheek, and without another word, headed to the front door and walked out.  Once he was on the porch and away from Bonnie and the baby and Lizzie, he placed a hand over his heart, feeling it beating erratically in his chest.  _Fucking anxious as all hell!_   It was too damn much stress, and he needed to get the fuck away from here.   His wet hat in hand, he walked over to his Harley and tossed the hat in the cargo compartment.  He tied on a skull cap and pulled it down low before slipping his helmet on over it and sitting down on the seat.  A few moments later, the roar of the Softail's engine filled his ears, and he immediately started to relax.  He backed the bike up and headed down the drive and back out on the street.  Where he was going, he had no fuckin' idea, but as long as it was away from here and all this bullshit, he didn't care where he ended up.

 

  


	10. Chapter 10

Lizzie pulled Cole’s hat down over his head with a reluctant sigh.  It was Christmas time in Pierre Part, and she and her family had been invited over to visit the Landry’s as was their usual tradition every year. She didn’t want to go; not by any stretch of the imagination did she want to go over there and see Chase Landry.  She’d been back home for almost 9 months now, and things had drastically changed in her life, but she’d had a few months where she didn’t know if she could make it.  Losing her husband, losing her memory, and nearly losing her baby had thrown her into a tailspin, and one that she didn’t know if she could recover from on some days.  Postpartum depression, combined with losing your husband would send anyone over the edge.  Lizzie thanked God every day for her family, and even for the Landry’s, for all they had done for her to help pull her through.  Now, she was on her way to finishing her BS in Nursing down at Nichols State, and soon she'd be able to get a job and get her and Cole a house of their own.  She'd postponed her education when Cole was born, but after the accident, she needed something to look forward to, something to take her mind off of everything, and she was now thankful that her mother had pushed her back into attending classes. She had a baby now, and she was damn sure gonna do her best to take care of him as best as she could.

She pulled little Cole’s jacket up and zipped it, grinning as he protested.  He wasn’t so little anymore.   At almost 14 months old, Cole was quite the handful, and if there was something to get in, _he got in it_.

“You ready?”

Lizzie looked up from the floor of her bedroom and plastered a fake smile on her face at her mother. _Was she ready?_

“No, but it doesn’t matter, does it?” Lizzie grumbled as she stood.  Baby Cole fell down to his knees and crawled over to his MiMi, giggling as Bonnie pulled him up for a big hug.

“Oh Lizzie for goodness sake! He probably won’t even be there!” Bonnie shook her head at her daughter in annoyance.  “Besides, he’s dating some girl from down at the store anyways.”

Lizzie’s head snapped up at that comment, thrown out so nonchalantly,  but her mother was already gone.  A scowl settled over Lizzie’s face, and she couldn’t rightly say why she even cared if Chase was dating, or who he was dating for that matter.  She jammed her earring in her ear almost painfully, glaring at herself through the mirror as she did so.  _Stupid ass Chase Landry._   She slapped some lipstick on and looked herself over once again, critically eying the black sweater and jeans she was going to wear.  _Should she change?_ She turned to the side and critiqued herself a bit more, before finally sighing in frustration.  Her boobs were never going to get back to normal after having Cole, and her hips were at least 3 inches bigger.  Even though she’d lost almost too much weight during those dark months, she still looked weird, at least to herself, and she feared that her stomach would never be flat again.  Her hair was finally growing in, just long enough now to straighten it or add some curl, but it was not the long waves she was used to.  She was hardly the girl that Chase had running after him so long ago.

“Fuck it!” She muttered as she grabbed her thin jacket and headed out to the Landry’s.  She would not dwell on Chase - not on what he thought of her and not on what she thought of him.  No, she was no longer that stupid girl that had been in love with him so long ago.  She was a woman now,  a mother, and at one time a wife, and she certainly had no time for Chase Landry's  bullshit.  She followed her mother across the street, pulling her jacket tight around her to fend off the cold.  When they walked up the steps, she started getting nervous.  When the door opened and Jacob ushered them in, she felt like she couldn't breathe.  When she finally stepped across the familiar threshold, Lizzie felt her heart palpitating wildly in her chest as she followed her parents into the Landry’s house.  She surreptitiously scanned the living room, relaxing just a bit when she didn’t she Chase.  _Thank god!_ Maybe he wouldn’t be here after all?

“Hey y’all!” Troy called as the family walked into the kitchen.  Kisses and hugs were passed out aplenty, and for the first time in a while, Lizzie felt a little happiness.  Christmas always was her favorite holiday, and she loved all the family’s getting together and celebrating.  Jacob and his wife were there, along with their two little ones, as well as Brandon and his wife and girls. Everyone ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ over baby Cole,  and Lizzie and her parents did the same for Jacob and Brandon's kids.  Lizzie sat down on the floor, leaning against the couch near Jacob and his wife, as she watched the babies play in the middle of the floor.

They were sitting in the living room, all laughing and giggling as Troy handed out the presents, when the front door flew open. Chase stumbled in, a drunken grin on his face, and a half-dressed girl followed along behind him.  Lizzie looked up, her smile fading as her eyes landed on Chase.  _So much for not seeing him tonight..._

“Hey y’all!” Chase grinned, oblivious to the heated stare his mother and father gave him as he interrupted the family time.  He went over to kiss his mama, chuckling as she pushed at his face to get him away from her. 

“Well it’s about time you brought your ass home, son!” Troy grouched at his son.  He turned his glare on the woman clutching Chase’s arm, his features softening just a bit as he spoke to the woman at Chase's side. “Rosie, how you doin’?”

“Oh I’m good, Mr. Landry!” Rosie giggled, unaware or not caring about the tension in the room. 

Lizzie calmly crawled up off the floor and sank into the couch, doing her best to hide from Chase's view.  She was pretty well covered behind Jacob, thank goodness, and she was hoping that he hadn't seen her yet.  _Was it too much to hope he'd just leave, and take his little tramp with him?_

From Lizzie's viewpoint, she could see the girl - _Rosie_ \- quite clearly.  Could her shirt or pants be any tighter?  Talk about not leaving anything to the imagination! That idiot was clearly just as inebriated as Chase was, Lizzie snorted to herself.   Feeling her body heating with anger, she turned her attention back to Troy, doing her best to not make eye contact with Chase. She still had no idea if he’d seen her yet or not, but he’d made no indication that he had. Tucked away in the corner, behind Jacob and his wife, it would be hard to see her, as short as she was, and for once in her life, Lizzie was glad she was so small!

“Well, we about to pass out gifts, Chase,” Troy continued trying to get his point across, but Chase was oblivious to his father's underlying message.

Chase sank down on the floor next to his mother, and pulled a giggling Rosie down on his lap.   Chase had his big hands wrapped around Rosie's waist, and she was nuzzling his neck affectionately.  Seeing the interaction, Lizzie felt some bile rise in her throat, and she stared stoically at the wall across from her. Why did she even care what Chase was doing?  God she wanted to leave right now, to snatch up Cole and run home, but she didn’t want to make a scene - especially not in front of Chase and his little toy!   Unable to control herself, she gave in to one last glance over at Chase, and quickly decided she wasn't going to look anymore.  He just kissed _that_ girl on the cheek, and even now, he had his face buried in her neck.  _Why the hell did that hurt so bad?_ She could feel the lump rising in her throat, and she swallowed painfully, forcing it back down into the pit of her stomach.  She was still grieving for her husband, for crying out loud!  Chase and his girlfriend were none of her business...

“You alright?” Jacob whispered over his shoulder to her, drawing her out of her thoughts for just a moment at least.

“Of course!” Lizzie squeaked back, but she felt her cheeks heating under Jacob’s knowing gaze.  She could see in his blue eyes that he knew exactly how she was feeling right about now.

“Sorry he’s being an ass,” Jacob apologized again with a grimace.

“Yeah, well, I’m used to it, so whatever,” Lizzie sourly replied.  She crossed her arms over her chest and stared over at her mother who was holding her son, hoping to get her attention. As soon as they could leave, they were going to.  She was not gonna sit here and watch Chase and this girl paw all over each other for the rest of the night.

“Okay, so let’s get started then, Troy,” Bernita urged her husband gently, obviously trying to make the best out of a bad situation.  Troy was glaring at Chase still, his face beet red as he fumed at his son.  Chase remained oblivious, as he sat with his head leaned back against the couch and spoke softly to Rosie. The girl giggled at something he said, and both were for the most part, in their own little world.

“Okay fine!” Troy grumbled again.  He held up a gift, and read the card. “This is baby Ridge’s.”

Troy’s anger disappeared as the little boy crowed with happiness at getting the first gift.  Troy handed it to his grandbaby, and without waiting, Ridge ripped the package open, squealing when he saw a toy shotgun inside. 

“Daddy! I got a gun!” Ridge held his toy rifle up, and all the adults laughed at the little boy,  even Lizzie.  It was hard to stay angry when such innocent joy was present.

“Uh…uhm…this one is for baby Cole.”  Troy mumbled as he passed the gift towards Lizzie’s direction. 

Jacob reached for it and handed it to Lizzie, who just happened to lean forward at that same moment.  Her eyes involuntarily landed on Chase, and she saw that he was staring back at her, the grin and happiness long gone from his face, replaced with a disbelieving smirk.   His jaw ticked as he stared at her, and Lizzie stared back, her blue eyes icy with contempt.   Without a word, Chase unceremoniously pushed Rosie off his lap and hopped up.  He headed to the back door, and when he stepped out, he slammed the door so hard the house shook.   A quiet settled over the room, but thankfully Troy spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“Rosie, I don’t wanna be rude, you know, but this is a family gathering.” Troy stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. “I think you should probably go home, you know?”

The girl stood, smiling awkwardly as she did so, and fished her keys out of her purse.

“I took my car, so I’ll just go ahead and leave,” she replied softly as her cheeks bloomed with embarrassment. 

Lizzie almost felt sorry for her, knowing exactly what it felt like to be on the receiving end of both Chase’s affections and his rejections. _Stupid ass man!_

“Thank you, sweetie,” Bernita replied kindly.  She stood as well, and followed Rosie to the door and showed her out.  Once the girl was gone, Bernita came back and joined the family.

“Should I go get him, Troy?” She asked her husband, but Troy shook his head and sat back down in front of the tree. 

“Nope.  Leave his ass out there to sulk,” Troy grumbled as he started pulling out gifts again. “Okay, this next one is for…” Troy read the card and grinned, “for me!” He hugged the gift to his chest, causing everyone to crack up with laughter. 

The mood instantly shifted, back to one of happiness and family, but for some odd reason, Lizzie felt a deep sadness settle in her heart knowing that Chase was out there alone, away from his family.   She sucked in a deep breath and did her best to join in, but her heart was heavy.  She just couldn't wait for this night to be over with...

* * *

 

A few hours later, all the gifts had been opened, the food had been eaten, and all the babies were fast asleep; Ridge was passed out on the floor, his little shotgun clutched to his chest, while the two little ones were safely tucked against their respective grandmothers.  Jacob and his wife had left a while ago, having taken up Bernita on her offer to watch her grandbabies for the night.  Now, Lizzie was helping Troy shove wrapping paper in bags so that it could be taken out to the trash.  Frank and Brandon were helping to clean up the kitchen, along with Brandon's kids and wife. Still no sign of Chase, and Lizzie wasn't entirely sure how she felt about that.  It was wrong that she was here, and her family was here, and he wasn't.  Sighing,  Lizzie lifted up her bag and carried it to the back door and pulled it open.  The large trash can had been moved out on the back porch to make room as they celebrated.  She pulled the lid off, and shoved the bag in, grunting as she tried to make it fit.   When it was finally in, she closed the lid and was just about to go inside when she heard him.

“Hey, Lizzie,” Chase mumbled from the dark.  Lizzie squinted, trying to see him in the dim porch light. As her eyes grew accustomed, she could just barely make him out as he sat on the swing at the far end of the porch.  It was uncharacteristically cold tonight, and Lizzie shivered as the cold wind hit her. To make matters worse, it was drizzling, and they were calling for freezing rain! The whole damn state would shut down if ice accumulated anywhere in Louisiana!

“Why are you sitting out here in the cold?” Lizzie bluntly asked, all the while wondering why she just didn’t go back inside and ignore him. 

“It ain’t cold to me,” Chase replied.  Lizzie could make out his arm as he lifted bottle of beer up to his mouth.

“Back to your old ways I see,” she snorted derisively.  As her eyes adjusted a little better, she could see him more clearly.  He was sitting on the swing, one booted foot propped up on the rail, with a beer in his hand.  Next to him, she could see empty bottles as they littered the porch floor around his feet. 

“It’s the only thing that gets _you_ outta _here_ ,” Chase retorted as he pointed at his head, beer still in hand. 

“Never stopped you before,” Lizzie angrily bit out as she turned to face the backyard.  Her teeth were beginning to chatter, her lips getting numb and her eyes watering in the winter air. “What is wrong with you, Chase? Why are you still like this, after all these years?”

“Because I still love you, and I know I fucked up.”

Lizzie jumped, startled to feel Chase’s breath against her cheek as he had crept up quietly next to her.  _How did he get close to her so fast??_ He stood next to her side, and she could smell his cologne and Bud Light, all mixed with that distinctive smell that was all Chase. He still smelled like the outdoors, like Calvin Klein and pine trees, and she did her best to not sigh as she inhaled, having missed that for so very long.

“Could we ever try again?” Chase leaned down, pressing his forehead against her temple as he mumbled against her cheek. “I’m sorry, Lizzie.”

God! His lips were so close to her, just brushing her cheeks with the barest of touch, and she could feel herself - her body - instantly reacting to him as if no time had passed.  She closed her eyes, and bit her lower lip, warring with herself.  As soon as she did, though, images of Rosie and Nathan flooded her brain, causing her anger to rise again.  Lizzie stiffened, and pushed Chase off her, backing away towards the door.

“Go back to your girlfriend, Chase.” Lizzie grabbed the doorknob and turned it, intending to go inside, but stopped when she heard a bottle fall and shatter on the cold, wooden floor. She turned back around, and saw Chase crumpled in a pitiful mess before her, his head cradled by his hands as he swayed back and forth on his ass.

“You need help, Chase!” Lizzie whispered furiously. _God, did this bring back memories or what?_

Knowing she couldn’t leave him out on the porch like this in the cold, she leaned down and tugged at his arm, grunting as she struggled to get him to stand up.  Instead, he pulled her down right on top of him, and both fell back, with Lizzie sprawled across Chase’s chest.  He stared up at her, and immediately Lizzie’s mind drifted back to so many times before, to all those many times before when she and Chase had made love, and afterwards when she stared down at him, just like this.  Her eyes moistened, and she blinked back wetness that had nothing to do with the frigid, biting air. Chase reached up and lightly traced his fingertips along her jaws, and smiled a half-smile up at her.

“Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it, Lizzie,” Chase whispered softly.  Lizzie swallowed hard, summoning all her courage as she pushed herself up off Chase and stood. She didn't try to help him up this time, either.

“Go to rehab, Chase.  Clean yourself up.  Really, I don't even care what you do, but you need to do something.” She brushed off her clothes and straightened them as she went back to the door.  Chase sat up and stared at her, legs spread before him, as Lizzie shook her head at him sadly. “You’re gonna kill yourself, Chase, and lose your family in the process if you don’t change.”

Without waiting for a response, Lizzie opened the door and went back inside, nearly running Troy over in the process.  He grabbed her about the shoulders and righted her, his brown eyes searching hers in concern.

“Lizzie? You alright, girl?” Troy released her and stared over her shoulder and out the window of the back door. “What happened out there?”

“I saw Chase,” Lizzie shrugged helplessly. Her lips started trembling, and she shook her head as she tried to hold back her tears but it was useless. She giggled as she wiped at her eyes. “I need to go home, Troy. I can’t do this!”

Troy stepped back, giving her space, and trying to be respectful as she composed herself.  He was gonna chew's Chase's ass off when he got the chance! _Stupid, hard-headed ass!_

"What can I do, Lizzie?"  Troy asked kindly. 

"Nothing."  Lizzie walked over and grabbed her jacket and pulled it on.  She didn't see any signs of her parents, though.  "Mom and Daddy left already?"  She asked Bernita, who nodded back in agreement.

"A few minutes ago," Bernita whispered softly.  

"Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and get home then," Lizzie grabbed her cell phone and pulled her beanie down over her head, doing her best to remain calm.  She could feel everyone's eyes on her, and she was getting fairly pissed off.  The back door flew open, and Chase stumbled in, mumbling to himself as he held on to the door handle for dear life in an attempt to not fall.   Troy looked over at him, and back at Lizzie, and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Lizzie.  I really am," Troy apologized.  Lizzie held her hand up to halt him.

"Don't apologize to me. I'm used to it, but you should probably let Rosie know before she gets in too deep with him."  Lizzie's voice was just as frigid as the biting air outside, and her eyes were just as glacial as she stared over at Chase.  He was oblivious to her, and everyone else in his drunken state, but Brandon had come to his rescue, and was helping him get upstairs.  After they had made it up, she turned her gaze back to Troy.

"He needs help, Troy.  He's gonna kill himself."  Lizzie was blunt, and she did her best to not show just how upsetting her own words were to her ears.   _The idea of Chase being hurt?_   Well, that hurt her, and she didn't want that to happen.  Now matter how much she hated him, she couldn't deal if she lost him like she lost Nathan.   She wouldn't survive, that she was certain of.

"Okay, Lizzie.  We'll get him some help," Troy agreed as he walked over to her and patted her shoulder gently.  "Sorry again, okay?"

"No need to apologize," Lizzie replied.  She kissed Troy on his weathered cheek, and then Bernita, and told them to pass her well-wishes onto the others, and headed back home.  She closed the door behind her, welcoming the bite of winter as it blistered her cheeks.   As she walked across the yard and down the driveway to the street, she made herself a promise:  as soon as possible, she was moving from Pierre Part.  She was going to put as much distance between herself and Chase Landry as possible. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I borrowed another gif :-) You know who you are!

**7 months later….**

 

3 hours into her shift, and Lizzie was exhausted.  She gulped down the Red Bull, wincing at the gross taste, but praying that it would kick in sooner rather than later. Cole had been running a fever all night, fussing and crying, and Lizzie had not gotten any sleep. Maybe an hour, if they were both lucky! She couldn’t miss her rotations as she was almost half-way through, but lord how she wished she could crawl up in one of the exam room beds and catch some shut-eye, if only for a few minutes!

“We got someone coming in 2, Lizzie.” Lizzie looked up from her spot at the desk, mustering up the best smile and thumbs up she could as she nodded at her supervisor. “You gonna be alright?” Doris arched a perfectly shaped brow at her young supervisee. 

Doris was the head of the nursing staff at the Teche Action Clinic in Pierre Part where Lizzie was doing a portion of her clinicals.  While Lizzie didn’t want to be so close to home while doing her clinical rotations, she also was thankful that _she was so close_ – especially after last night. Being a single parent was hard, and Lizzie was quickly reminded of how good she had it back at home with her parents.  Still being able to run Cole home to her mama's house was a life-saver, and one that Lizzie was eternally grateful for.

“Lizzie?” Doris spoke again, a little louder this time, to get Lizzie’s attention. “They’re in 2, so you need to get down there and get vitals and do an intake. Dr. Shay will be in shortly.” Doris walked over and handed Lizzie an empty file. 

Lizzie got to her feet, rolling her head as she tried to pump some blood back into her weary body.

“I’m good. Promise.” She smiled at Doris as she took the chart and headed to the room. She knocked gently before opening the door. When she heard the all-clear from inside, she opened the door…and nearly shut it just as fast. Not ten feet away was Chase, sitting next to his dad. 

“Lizzie! What the hell?” Troy greeted her warmly as he stood up and pulled her in for a hug.  Chase hung back, remaining seated on his chair in the corner,  but Lizzie would swear he looked just as uncomfortable seeing her as she did him.  Both men had clearly just come from the swamp, as the smell of water and death was strong, not to mention the filthy clothes they were both wearing. 

“Troy?” Lizzie looked over them both, looking for visible wounds, all the while trying to calm her heart down.  Chase held his hands up and motioned towards his dad, and she finally saw the gashes on Troy’s hand, realizing that he was the one that was injured, and not Chase.  For some reason, this made her feel almost giddy, as a surge of adrenaline pumped through her body at Chase being okay.  she quickly tamped that down and turned her attention back to Troy and his hand.

“Damn gator like near bit my hand off!” Troy grumbled as he sat back down on the stool next to the bed. He turned his hand over, showing Lizzie the rows of bite marks, some of which looked incredibly deep. 

"Gosh, Mr. Landry!  Let me wash up really quick so I can look at it."   Lizzie’s brow furrowed as she set the chart down and washed her hands. 

She wouldn’t look at Chase - _couldn’t look at Chase_ \- for fear of what she’d see. She tried to calm her shaky hands, but they continued to tremble, even as she turned around and gently inspected Troy’s hands.  The wounds were deep, some looking like they may have went all the way down to the bone. This wasn’t good.  All the nastiness in a gator’s mouth, along with the dirt and grime that was all over Troy from being out on the swamp working, could lay a man low quickly.  Could kill him even, if the bacteria got in his blood stream! 

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna ring the doctor really fast. We need to get these cleaned out as soon as possible!” Lizzie opened the door and poked her head out, calling for Dr. Shay to come as soon as he could.  She walked back over and went through the usual – checking temperature, checking blood pressure, taking down vitals and asking questions.

Not once did she even attempt to look at Chase, although she could continually see him in the corner of her eye.  He was watching her, that she knew - _could feel his eyes on her!_ -  and it made her all the more self-conscious.  _Were her scrubs dirty?_   She must look horrible, because she _felt_ horrible, and it probably reflected in her outward appearance. Doing her best to push all those nonsensical worries aside, she continued with Troy, trying to be as business-like and professional as possible.  She nearly fainted with relief when Dr. Shay came in, and she quickly excused herself after giving him the information he needed.  She headed down the hallway to the break room and gulped down some water, fanning herself as she tried to calm down.

She was just settling down, just getting herself composed, when Dr. Shay called for her again. She went back in the room and did her best to look only at Dr. Shay, but she could see out of the corner of her eye that Chase was gone.  _When the hell had he left, and where did he go?_   _Was he coming back?_ God was this room stuffy or was it just her??  She felt like all the air was being sucked out of her, and she was very close to hyperventilating!

“Yes?” She hoped that her voice didn’t come across as shaky and high-pitched as it sounded to her ears.

“We need to get Mr. Landry down to x-ray.” Dr. Shay continued scribbling on the chart, not looking up at Lizzie. “Make sure there’s no broken bones or fractures.” He now looked up at Troy with a gentle smile. “Once we get those results back, we’ll clean out the wound and go from there.  In the meantime, Lizzie here, is going to give you a few shots. Pain relief and antibiotics, just to make sure.”

Lizzie nodded and busied herself with getting the syringes ready, all the while telling herself to calm down, that it was just Troy, and that she could handle him. Chase was gone, so she could calm down now. It was almost over, thank goodness!

“Okay doc, whatever you think,” Troy grouched as he leaned back in his chair. His swollen hand was still propped up on the exam table, and it was looking redder and angrier by the minute. Dr. Shay finished scribbling in his chart and with a nod at Lizzie and Troy, he exited the room, leaving just the pair. Lizzie turned back to Troy, a warm smile on her face as she approached him.

“This should make you feel better, Mr. Landry.” Lizzie gently rolled his sleeve up and swabbed the area clean with alcohol a few times in preparation. 

“You move down the road, and now I’m Mr. Landry?” Troy teased her playfully, but Lizzie blushed nevertheless at her too-professional attitude with him. Troy had probably seen her running butt-naked across the yard at one point as she was growing up, and here she was treating him like a stranger on the street.

“I’m sorry, Troy,” Lizzie looked up at him, her eyes giving her away. “I’m just…”

“I told him to leave.” Troy nodded in understanding. “I didn’t know you was working here, and he had to drive me in, but I told him to go wait in the truck for me.”

“You didn’t have to do that, Troy.”  Lizzie protested weakly as she positioned the needle at his shoulder. “Little stick, okay?”

“Yeah I did. For everyone’s sanity,” Troy chuckled.  He looked away as Lizzie pressed the tip of the needle against his skin and quickly pushed it in. When she was done, she vigorously massaged the area, spreading the liquid throughout. One more stick, the painkiller, and Troy was good to go. She deftly placed bandages on the spots where she’d stuck him, and Troy rolled his sleeves back down.

“How is he?” Lizzie couldn’t help but ask, but lord did she regret the words as they came out of her mouth!  Embarrassed, she busied herself with cleaning up, dropping a syringe in her clumsiness, before Troy reached out and grasped her forearm gently.  Lizzie looked up at him, nerves frayed as her blue eyes met his.

“He’s good, Lizzie. Really, really good. Whatever you said to him that night, well it sure enough changed him.  He hardly drinks anymore, he’s captaining his own boat, too. Even sold that damn bike of his.” Troy released her and sat back in the chair as he regarded her carefully.

Lizzie felt her throat constrict with some nameless emotion - _happiness?  Pride?_   She didn't know, but forced a happy smile as she stared back at Troy.  Maybe Chase was finally changing his ways? Lizzie wondered deep down if he was still with Rosie, or if he’d found someone new, but immediately chastised herself for even thinking about that.  She was just now getting her life squared away, and she didn’t need to drag herself back into it. Besides, Chase had made similar promises before, and he’d never stuck to them. Why would this time be any different?

“Well, I’m glad, Troy.” She threw away the syringes in the receptacle, and finished cleaning up.

“How are you?”

“Me? I’m good. Like living down in Thibodaux, even if it’s just me and Cole.” Lizzie smiled fondly as she thought about her baby. “Still close enough to bring him home to mama, but it’s nice having my own place, you know?”

“Oh I hear that!” Troy smiled at her warmly. “How much schooling you got left?”

“Pretty much just the clinical rotations. Then I can take the licensing exam, and I’m done, thank goodness!” Lizzie scooped up the paperwork. “Okay Troy, I’m gonna let the doctor know that you’re ready for x-rays. Someone will be in shortly to take you down.”  Lizzie walked over to him and kissed him on the cheek.  “It was sure nice seeing you, even though I hate that you got hurt.”  She frowned down at his hand. 

“Aw hell, you know I hurt that gator more’n he hurt me!” Troy snorted. “Gave him a damn headache he ain’t gonna recover from!”

“I’m sure you did,” Lizzie laughed as she stood back up. “Tell everyone I said hello, okay?”  She really missed the Landry's, despite all that she'd been through with Chase.  They were a good family, and she loved them all dearly.

“Don’t be a stranger, Lizzie. You knew where we live, okay?” Troy cocked an eyebrow at her.

“I sure do,” Lizzie nodded with another smile.  She opened the door and stepped out and headed down the hall to find the doctor. 

* * *

 

 

After arranging for Troy to get his x-rays, she waited til he was taken down before heading back to the room to clean it up.  When she opened the door, she saw Chase sitting back in the chair in the corner, hunched over and messing with his cell.  He looked up, and immediately stood when he saw who it was.

“Chase!” Lizzie squeaked out, not knowing what else to say.

“I was uh…dad didn’t tell me what was going on…so I came in to check on him. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Chase apologized as he fidgeted from foot to foot. Lizzie stared at him in bewilderment; she’d never seen Chase Landry act so unsure of himself – it was highly unusual.  Lifting her chin, Lizzie did her best to remain professional as she spoke.

“He’s getting x-rays.  Doctor wants to make sure nothing’s broken. Shouldn’t take long, and you’re more than welcome to wait here or in the waiting room.” She gave him a cordial smile and had turned on her heel to leave when he reached out and placed a hand on the door, preventing her from opening it. 

With the way his arm was lifted above her head, she could feel his body heat, could smell him even.  He wasn’t clean by any stretch of the word – _they’d just come off the swamp_ – but underneath the blood and guts and bait, Lizzie could still smell _Chase_.  That familiar smell that made her want to turn and bury her head against his neck, to lay her cheek against his chest and listen to his steady heart beat under her ear.  _God!_   She closed her eyes, clenching them shut to ward off those images of better times.

“Let me out, Chase.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and it was clearly more of a plea than an order.

“I’m changed, Lizzie.” Chase ignored her request, but did lower his hand. “I’m not drinking anymore…well sometimes…but not like before. I got my own boat even!”Chase sounded so proud of himself, and it was hard for Lizzie to not crack a tiny smile of admiration for all he'd accomplished...but, things were different now, and she'd do well to remember that. 

Lizzie opened her eyes and stared at the wooden door in front of her.  If she could walk through the damn door, that's exactly what she would do, just to get away from Chase!

“Your daddy told me.” Her voice was flat, devoid of emotion.

“So…” Chase questioned, drawing Lizzie’s eyes up to his.  He stepped back when he saw how cool they were, any possible earlier traces of warmth completely gone.

“So? _So what_ , Chase?  Should I give you an award?   Should I jump into bed with you?” Lizzie was practically hissing.  She pointed her finger at his chest, forcing him to back up a few steps.  “You made all the same promises before, remember? Then you broke every damn one of them!”

“I know, Lizzie, I know.”  Remorseful, Chase placed a hand over his heart. “I swear to God though, I’m different now, Lizzie.  I realize how stupid I was, and I changed.”

“Well I’m glad, Chase,” Lizzie bit out sarcastically. “I’m so fucking glad it only took you a million fucking years to figure out what an asshole you are!”

“You really hate me, don’t you?” Chase dropped his hands, and his shoulders slumped in defeat. “I really fucked you up, didn’t I?”

God! Why was he talking like that to her? Like he really cared, like he really got it this time?  She preferred _yelling, screaming Chase_ over this now-gentle giant that stood before her!  He was so much easier to hate when he was being his usual dickish self;  this Chase was making it difficult for her to stay angry.  Still, she couldn't deny that a tiny little part of her - she had to admit - wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that he was different and that he'd changed.

Lizzie wiped at her eyes, furious at herself for getting so emotional over him. _What the fuck was wrong with her that he could still get to her like this?_   She hated him, she reminded herself!  She started purposely trying to remember all the times he'd cheated on her, trying to remember all the drunken nights they'd fought - anything to fuel her anger.   She hated him, and she needed to remind herself of that before she got sucked in again. 

“I was happy, Chase. With Nathan, and Cole, I was happy. I finally got away from you, and I was happier than I’d ever been. You were the biggest mistake of my life!” She sniffled as she wiped at her nose. “God! What part of _'I hate you don't you'_ understand?  Why won’t you just leave me alone?” 

Chase was taken aback, literally stumbling back against the chair, and Lizzie saw the look of pain that flashed over his features as her caustic words sank in. For some inexplicable reason, she knew she felt a similar pain, deep in her belly and radiating towards her heart as she lashed out at him and saw the effect it had on him.  She should feel good about hurting him, but she felt even worse now than before. She wanted to apologize, and say she didn’t mean it... _but didn’t she?_

_ _

_Wasn’t he a huge mistake?_    God she was so confused!!  What the hell was wrong with her? 

“Okay. You’re right, Lizzie. You’re right.” Chase’s lips twisted as his jaw clenched, and Lizzie stared at him in shock, clearly not believing her eyes.  _Was Chase Landry on the verge of tears?_ He never cried over her, or anyone else for that matter - at least not when he was sober!  He cleared his throat and pulled his hat down low.

“I’ll leave you alone from now on.” He moved around her and headed to the door, and Lizzie had to stop herself from grabbing for him.

“Chase-” Giving in, Lizzie reached for him, only to have him shrug her hand off.

“Nah, it’s cool, Lizzie. I got the message.” Chase’s voice was gruff, and Lizzie felt a wave of sadness wash over her again.  He wouldn't even meet her eyes anymore, and she could barely see him through her own damn tears!

 _Why they hell were they always fighting and hurting each other?_   There was no middle ground with them – either they were completely in love or completely trying to tear each other apart!  She hung her head low, staring at the tiled floor as Chase wordlessly left the room and shut the door quietly behind him.   Still crying, Lizzie grabbed a paper towel and wet it, hoping the coolness would alleviate some of the redness in her cheeks.  She pressed the wet paper to her face,  trying to calm her angry skin, and was doing just that when the door opened yet again, only this time it was Troy.  He took stock of Lizzie’s face, put two and two together, and quickly gathered her up in his arms, wounded hand and all.

“I’m sorry you gotta go through this, Lizzie,” Troy murmured against her head. “You and him, I feel so bad for both of y’all.”

“I was happy, Troy!” Lizzie cried into his shoulder. “I was happy, and I had a good life, and…and…”

“Shhhh,” Troy patted her back gently with his good hand. “Just hush now, Lizzie.  It’ll all get better.”

"I just don't want to hurt him anymore, and I don't wanna get hurt anymore," she whimpered pathetically against the older man.  "I can't do it again."

"I know, sweetie.  I know," Troy continued patting her back as he would a child.  When Lizzie finally calmed down, she stepped back, embarrassed yet again. 

"God! You got bit by a gator and I'm the one crying!" She giggled as she wiped at her eyes, drawing a laugh from Troy as he sat back down in his chair. 

"Well, with you and that boy of mine, it's nothing new," Troy chuckled again, but his face quickly grew sober.  "He's changed,  Lizzie.  I don't wanna assume and say it was for you, but I can tell you this much, it was because of you.  That's for damn sure." 

Lizzie hiccupped, swallowing down another sob as she tried to process what Troy was telling her.  She just couldn't do all this right now.  Her mind was running a hundred miles a minute, and she couldn't deal with this right now. 

"Troy, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go ahead and have someone else come in and clean your hand up. If that's okay with you?"  Lizzie's voice was soft, broken in some places, and she was thankful when Troy nodded in agreement. 

"Go take a break, sweetie."  Troy sighed and pulled his hat off his head, rubbing his forehead wearily.  "Y'all gonna give me a damn headache!" 

"I'm really sorry, Troy."  Lizzie apologized again.  She looked down at her hands, clenched tightly around the file, and swallowed hard before pittifully looking up at Troy.  "Please tell him I'm sorry. For what I said, I didn't mean it, and I'm sorry."   

Just then, the door opened and another nurse popped her head in, wondering if she was needed.  Lizzie nodded, thankful again that she getting off the hook so easily.  Surely there was someone up above looking down on her and realizing she was about to have a nervous breakdown!

"I will, Lizzie," Troy assured her, answering her earlier plea towards Chase.  "Now go take are of yourself, girl."

"Okay," Lizzie whispered.  She gave Troy one last small, tremulous smile before leaving the room. 

She quickly dropped the file off at the front desk and made her way back to the break room, and then on to the bathroom.  Once inside, she locked herself in the farthest stall and sank down against the wall, crying yet again.  As her tears silently fell, she thought back to what Chase had told her in the room.  What if it were true?  How could she believe him?  She'd trusted him so many times before, and each time he'd betrayed her.    She felt so hopeless, and helpless, and so damn confused!  Would Chase Landry ever stop making her cry?


	12. Chapter 12

Chase sat on the steps of the clinic, his head still reeling at what Lizzie had said to him as sweat dripped down his face in the sweltering Louisiana heat.

_“I hate you, Chase!”_

_“Why won’t you leave me alone?”_

And the worst thing he thought he’d probably ever heard in his life came out of her pretty mouth...

_“You were the biggest mistake of my life.”_

Goddamn but that hurt like a son of a bitch!  He'd immediately felt sick at his stomach when she’d said that, and had damn near fallen down; the chair behind him was the only thing that had kept him upright.  He’d known he’d hurt her over the years – she’d always said as much – but until now, he’d never really seen just how bad.  What the fuck was wrong with him that he couldn’t see that damage before?  Had he really been that much of a drunk, or was he just a real asshole, as Lizzie said?  Chase rested his head in his hands, his fingers scratching at his scalp under his cap. 

It was hot as hell right now, but there was no way he was going back inside that clinic.  He’d already caused enough problems for Lizzie, and if he were completely honest, he didn’t know if he could stomach any more of her hatred for him.  It literally tore his insides up.  He reached over and plucked a piece of grass from the ground and absentmindedly chewed on it as he waited for his father. 

* * *

 

Chase was in the pickup truck, dozing in and out of wakefulness, when the door opened and his father climbed inside.  Chase stared over at him with heavy eyelids, his face red and dripping with sweat.

“What the hell you doin’ out here in the heat, son?” Troy’s brows were drawn together as he stared at his sweaty son. “You gonnna have a damn heatstroke sittin’ out here like that!”

Chase was still dazed, and shook his head a few times to clear the fog as Troy reached over and turned the key in the ignition, bringing the truck to life.

“Turn the damn air on!” Troy barked, finally getting Chase to wake up somewhat.  He reached over and turned the air on full blast, his sweaty skin instantly breaking out in goosebumps as the cold air hit him. Troy looked at Chase and shook his head. “You two are somethin’ else, I tell you what!”

“Whatever…” Chase grumbled, fully awake and now aggravated at his dad’s badgering.  He put the truck in gear and pulled out the parking lot and headed home. He glanced over at his father, seeing his right hand wrapped up to his mid-forearm with gauze.

“So what’d they say?” Chase asked, nodding at his father’s hand.

“Just broke the skin pretty bad. Nothing broken.” Troy turned his hand over as he stared down at it. “Can’t go out on the water for a week at least, though.”

Chase looked over at his father, eyes wide open in shock.  _Troy Landry not allowed to go out and hunt?_   Had hell frozen over?

“You damn well heard what I say, Chase Michael!” Troy scowled as he stared over at his son. “So you and Jacob, or your uncle or cousin gonna have to fill the tags for a while.”

“Okay,” Chase swallowed hard, forcing himself to focus on the road before them even as his mind ran rampant with doubt.

While he had been captaining his own boat, he’d not been in charge of filling tags solely.  Jacob was busy with his own boat, so it was gonna be damn hard to fill the rest of the tags with just the two of them, and they had a lot of damn tags this year - more than ever!  Hopefully his uncle or cousin could help; if not he was screwed.  _They were screwed._ Chase and his father rode back down Highway 70 in silence, both worried about different things.  Finally, Troy spoke.

“She said she was sorry about whatever she said.” 

Chase looked over at his father, eyes wide, unsure of how to respond.

“Y’all need to figure somethin’ out, Chase,” Troy said, although this time his voice was much more gentle as he spoke to his son.

“I don’t know how, Daddy.” Chase shrugged his shoulders as he gripped the steering wheel tightly. “She’s never gonna forgive me for what I did to her.”

“Were you that much of an ass, Chase?” Troy glared at his son, and Chase reddened under his father’s harsh gaze.  

“I was an asshole, yes,” Chase hedged. _If he only knew_ , he thought to himself.   His father didn’t need to know how bad he’d been, cause he’d probably tell him to pull the truck over and beat his ass right here on the side of the road for all he'd done to Lizzie.

“And how long did Lizzie stay with you while you was doin’ all this stupid shit?” Troy asked.  He pulled his cap off and rubbed the top of his balding head with his hand.  Whatever hair he had left was gonna fall out for sure if he kept dealing with these two kids…

“Years,” Chase replied pitifully. “She put up with my shit for years, Daddy.  And I don’t know why she would.” Chase swallowed hard, hating himself more and more for all the bad he’d done. How did someone treat someone they supposedly loved like that?  God he was such an ass!

“Do you want to be with Lizzie, Chase?” Troy asked point blank, earning another frightened, 'deer-in-the-headlights' look from Chase. “Goddamnit! Do you?”

“Uhm…yeah…of course I do,” Chase stammered.  They turned into the Landry’s driveway, and Chase breathed a little easier, wanting nothing more than to get out of this truck and away from this inquisition with his dad. 

“Well, then, you need to make her understand that, son.  She stayed with you all them years cause she loved you.”  Troy was gentle again.

He really felt bad for his son, and for Lizzie. Lizzie needed someone like Chase, especially now that she had that little baby to take care of.  _And Chase?_ Well hell, Chase needed someone like Lizzie to keep his ass straight! Chase backed up under the tree and placed the truck in park and unbuckled, ignoring his father as he opened the door. Troy reached over and grabbed his son’s forearm with his good hand.

“What the hell you gonna do, Chase?  Waste another couple of years? Wait til she has a new husband?  Then what?” Troy’s brows were knitted together as he frowned at his son. “If you want her, you gotta make her understand.  Make her see you’re different. Lizzie’s not that little girl you had a long time ago, son.  She’s a woman, and she has a baby, and she don’t have time for bullshit.” 

Chase sighed and leaned back against the headrest, knowing every word his father spoke was true, but still not wanting to hear it.

“You got yourself in this mess, and you the only one can get yourself out, Chase.”

“I know,” Chase begrudgingly agreed. “I’m just afraid she’s gonna continue telling me to go to hell.” 

Troy chuckled, earning a hard stare from Chase. _What the hell was funny about that?_ Seeing the look on his son’s face, Troy laughed again, unable to control himself.  Aggravated and huffing, Chase started to get out of the truck, but Troy grabbed him again.

“I’m sorry, son! I am, but damn if y’all aren’t a pair!” Troy wiped at his eyes, not deterred one bit by Chase’s annoyed look aimed at him. “If anyone might tell you to go to hell, it’d sure enough be little Lizzie!”

“Well I’m glad you find it so fuckin’ funny,” Chase muttered angrily.

“Hey, you best watch your mouth around me, boy,” Troy shot back, sobering now at his son’s lip. “Look, all I’m sayin’ is if you’re serious, be serious.  Don’t be runnin’ after her if you gonna do the same shit you did before. She won’t have it, son.  I can tell you that for sure.  Having a baby changes things.”

Chase sighed and rubbed a hand over his face wearily.

“Are you ready for that, son?” Troy asked, his tone solemn with the subject matter. “That’s another man’s son you’d be responsible for.”

“Daddy,” Chase warned, definitely not wanting to talk about _that_.

“Don’t _daddy me_ , boy! You got to think about this stuff, you hear?  Lizzie ain’t gonna play around with you! If that’s all you want, go back and get Rosie, or some other girl.” Troy’s tone was harsh, but Chase knew it was warranted; they all cared for Lizzie and her family, and Troy would never stand for Chase putting her through that hell again. 

“Let’s get out, okay? I’m tired, and I need to get some rest,” Chase muttered quietly as he slid out of his truck. 

Troy didn’t press any further, knowing his son had probably too much to think about.   He knew he couldn't tell Chase what to do anymore than he could tell a gator to not bite him, but he sorely hoped that Chase would make the right decision.  It was too much, this thing with him and Lizzie, and none of them could keep going the way they were.  Something had to give.


	13. Chapter 13

Chase sat out on the back porch, listening to the crickets chirp, and the frogs calling for rain.  It was almost midnight, and he knew he should be sleeping, but he couldn’t.  As worn out as his body was, his brain said _hell no_ , and here he sat.  He took another sip of his beer as he thought back on the day’s events. 

He’d poured his heart out to Lizzie, and she’d shut him down quickly. It was obvious that she was nowhere near close to forgiving him for all he’d done to her. He wondered what it would take? He knew the first time he’d cheated on her that he was a dick for doing it, but he was drunk, and it was what everyone was doing, and she’d never really know, right?  At least that’s what he told himself at the time, how he justified it.  What Lizzie didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her, and besides, he didn’t care about any of those girls – not like he did Lizzie. She was always the one he came home to in the end.

“Wow,” he muttered out loud as he took another sip.  Just having that thought in his head was sobering enough. and made him feel as low as the dirt on his boot.  Who the fuck did he think he was to rationalize that kind of behavior?  She’d sat home, waiting for him for years, supporting him in the beginning of the show and all.  Never once did she ask him for anything other than love, and never, ever did she question him on his whereabouts – at least not in the beginning.  She'd trusted him completely…until he went and fucked it up.  The times before, when he was running off to Florida or Los Angeles were stupid, all about booze, and tattoos, and girls and parties.  If he were honest with himself, he didn’t know if he would have ever told Lizzie about the other girls. She only found out when he and some chick in Florida had a pregnancy scare.  He took another long sip of beer as the memories came flooding back to that day. 

He would never forget that day he came home from being out on the swamp to find Lizzie in tears on the floor of their small apartment. She was leaned up against the cabinets in the kitchen, the phone still in her hands as she cried.  Not knowing what was going on, he had immediately gone to her and tried to gather her in his arms, only to have her knock the ever-loving shit out of him with the cordless phone.  He grimaced, remembering how hard his little Lizzie had hit him that day.  He swore that even now he could still feel the ringing, and he was still amazed that all that strength had come from someone so tiny as her.  Apparently it was true what they say about hell having no fury like a woman scorned….

When the dust settled and Chase was able to get something out of her, he found out that a girl from Florida had called, looking for him, and saying she was pregnant - with his kid. Even though he was one hundred percent sure he’d not slept with _that particular girl,_ the process of getting a paternity test and all that had to be done just to be sure.  When the results came back that it wasn’t Chase’s baby – _which he’d known all along_ – Lizzie still didn’t care.  She’d moved out that day she got the phone call, and no amount of groveling by Chase could bring her home. Before she'd left, though, she’d forced him to tell her everything, to explain thoroughly each and every sordid detail of each time he’d cheated, and with whom and where.  He would swear on his life that he watched her die in waves as the specifics emerged, each new lie that unfolded seeming to tear at her heart little by little.  When he was finished telling her everything, she'd long since stopped crying, and a blank, hollow look had come over her face, the shock of it having taken away all emotion.  It was as if she were numb, cold and detached from everything, and she left immediately thereafter without another word.

He’d never felt lower in his life, and he’d gotten so drunk that night he’d wrecked his truck and ended up in the hospital with a broken rib and a broken heart.  Lizzie didn’t even come see him while he was there; that’s how he knew it was over between them.  He’d still tried, over and over, to get her back, but it was no use.  No amount of flowers, no amount of tears and groveling, not even giving up the show would bring her back to him.  She was completely done with him. 

When begging didn’t work, he resorted to anger, badgering her at her parent’s house and later, when she went down to college.  She stayed in the dorms, and that had aggravated the dog shit out of him.  He was pissed couldn’t see her every day, that he had no idea what she was doing, or _who_ she was doing it with.  It was there that she met Nathan, and it was there that he lost her for good. 

When he’d received the wedding invite from his brother, he threw himself into work, spending massive amounts of time out on the water during the season, and the rest of the time in L.A. or Florida, trying to get his business off the ground; anything to keep his mind off her.  He tried to not be home as much as possible, because he didn’t want to be there when she came home with her boyfriend, and then fiancé. He couldn’t take it, and he didn’t trust himself to not march across the street and start some shit.  He was still embarrassed about that Christmas when he and Nathan got into it, but there was nothing he could do about it now. 

Chase took another sip of his beer, wondering where all this led him now.

He knew he was still wrapped up with Lizzie, and he was fairly certain he’d never get her out of his head.  He’d tried to date, with Rosie being the most recent, but it was pointless. He and Rosie had fooled around, but when it came down to sex, he couldn’t get it up, leading to multiple embarrassing occasions on his part.  He’d never fuckin’ had that problem before, and couldn’t explain it.  _Was it guilt?_ Rosie was a beautiful girl by any standards, and she was sweet, but whenever he kissed her, all he saw was Lizzie's blue eyes staring back at him.  He'd come close many times to whispering Lizzie's name, and that had dampened the mood immediately between he and Rosie.  

He knew he was still very, very attracted to Lizzie - that he was completely sure of, and no, he wasn't gonna deny it any longer.  Hell, that night last Christmas when he’d spoken with her on the porch, he got hard in no time by just being pressed up against her - and that was when she was highly pissed at him! He’d spent many nights since then dreaming about her, wondering what she was doing, and wishing he was with her, doing whatever it was. 

Some girls had problems getting their figure back after having kids, but goddamn if Lizzie didn’t get hotter after having baby Cole.  Her breasts were fuller and rounder than before, and her hips!  Lord help him but he was itching to grab those delicious hips of hers and pull her to him, to run his hands over her ass and thighs.  She’d most definitely filled out in all the right places, and the slender, girlish body she’d had before had been replaced with a woman’s figure, soft and curvy, and begging to be touched.  The way she filled out her jeans...hell the way she'd filled out those scrubs today had gotten him harder than he'd been in a long time!  He groaned, shifting in the swing as his pants got tight over his crotch as he recalled watching her from under hooded eyes as she tended to his dad.   Even now, when he was bone-tired and slightly buzzed, his cock got hard just thinking about her.

“Fuck!” He muttered as he stood up and dumped out the remainder of his beer.  Drinking beer like that wasn’t so much fun anymore, especially when you had to get up and go to work at the ass-crack of dawn. 

He shifted his legs, adjusting himself as best he could, but he knew he’d go to bed miserable again, hard as a rock from thinking about Lizzie.  Another night of being pathetic... He sighed as he opened the back door and crept in, being careful to be quiet as he slipped his boots off and hurried up to his room.  Last thing he needed was his dad up in his business again!  Once up the stairs and in his room, he made his way to his bathroom, locking the door behind him as he leaned up against it, fist balled in frustration.  Unable to help it, he reached down and gripped his throbbing cock, and with images of blue eyes and blonde hair dancing before him, he quickly relieved himself, knowing he wasn't going to get sleep any other way if he didn't.  

Later, when he lay in bed, still doing his damnedest to fall asleep, he was again tormented with thoughts of her. Regrets,  frustration, anger... All the shit he'd done, and all the things he wanted to do to make it better.  The bottom line was he couldn't live without her;  he'd been _existing_ since she left him, but not living, and he could no longer do it.  It was time to man up, to prove to her that he'd changed.  He had to win her back, to start over from scratch, and show her that she wanted him too.  A plan started formulating in his brain, one that both excited him and scared the shit out of him - all at the same time.  He was going to get Lizzie LaPray to fall in love with him again, if it was the last damn thing he did. 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am not perfect. Remember that, and try to forgive me when I fail you ~ Elizabeth Lowell

A few days later, Lizzie sat in the breakroom at the clinic, frowning across the table at the bouquet of flowers before her.  There were pink Lilies, white daisies, and white chrysanthemums, all tucked away in a clear, glass vase, and she’d initially been thrilled to receive them…until she’d seen who they were from.

**I’m really sorry.**

**Chase.**

She opened the card up again and read it, not knowing what else she could possibly glean from those 3 little words, but hoping that something would make sense.  Chase had never, ever sent her flowers out of the blue before when they were together.  Sure, she’d gotten flowers for Valentine’s Day, and occasionally for her birthday, but he had never been the romantic _send-flowers-for-no-reason_ guy. She was completely stumped as to what he was up to with sending her these flowers.  Shaking her head, she stood up and grabbed the vase and carried them out to the front desk.  Carol, the older receptionist, smiled again when she saw the bouquet.

“Someone is a lucky girl today!” She beamed as Lizzie set the flowers down on the desk in front of the older woman.

“Or not,” Lizzie snorted. “Do you want them?”

“What?” Carol frowned up at Lizzie in confusion.

“I can’t accept these, so I thought I would offer them to you before I tossed them in the garbage.” Lizzie spoke matter-of-factly.

“Lizzie…are you sure? I mean..” Carol looked at the flowers and then up at Lizzie again, her brows drawn together. “Why can’t you take them?”

“I just can’t,” Lizzie forced a smile. “Do you want them, yes or no?”

“Well I guess so,” Carol reluctantly accepted the flowers, still frowning at the young woman before her. “Who are they from?” Carol asked as she inhaled the fragrance, smiling as she did so.

“No one special.” Lizzie picked up her files and walked away before Carol could dig any deeper.

* * *

 

The next week, it was the same damn thing - another bouquet of damn flowers - only this one was larger than the last, but no less beautiful.  Despite her annoyance, Lizzie couldn’t help but smile a little as she saw that this one had honeysuckles intermixed with the small white and pink roses, and azaleas. It smelled heavenly, and she was slightly shocked – _no she was a lot shocked actually_ – that the honeysuckles were even present. Those were her favorite flowers ever, and many, many times she and Chase -  as both children and adults - had sat near the honeysuckle bushes, sucking the sweet nectar out of the stems for hours.

 

 

Did he remember, or was it just a fluke from the florist?  Snorting, she shook her head and came to her senses. If that asshole couldn’t remember to keep his dick in his pants, surely he wouldn’t remember a  simple flower that she liked.  Unable to help herself, she plucked the card out and opened it.

**Remember when we used to sit down along the bayou and suck on the honeysuckles?  I do.**

**I’m really, really sorry.**

**Chase.**

Lizzie’s mouth dropped opened and closed a few times in disbelief.  She read the card again, and again searched for underlying meanings in his short words. _What the hell was he up to?_   Did he think by sending her flowers she was going to automatically forgive him for all the shit he’d put her through? _NOPE!_ She would just completely disregard the fact that he had indeed remembered her love of honeysuckles;  it meant nothing in the big picture, because he was still a lying, cheating bastard that couldn't be trusted.  Tightening her jaw, she stood up and grabbed the vase, and again, took it down to Carol and unceremoniously set it down before the older woman.

“Here you go. Another delivery for you.” Lizzie smiled, a sickly sweet smile that caused Carol to frown up at her just as she did last week.

“If you don’t want him, I’ll take him, whoever he is!” Carol exclaimed as she examined the bouquet. “He sure is trying hard, Lizzie.”

“Yeah, well, it’s a little too late for that,” Lizzie snapped.  Seeing Carol blanch at her meanness, she immediately regretted her harsh words directed at the receptionist. It wasn’t her fault Chase was the ultimate dick and a half! 

“I’m sorry, Carol, I didn’t mean to snap like that,” Lizzie apologized. “It’s just…it’s a long story, and I don’t even know how to explain it myself…and it’s just bad, you know?”

“Well, you wanna hear some advice from someone much older and wiser than you?” Carol winked up at her, and Lizzie couldn’t help but smile.  She reminded her of her grandmother that had passed a few years back, and it was hard to turn her down.  Lord knows she needed someone to help her make sense of all of this! 

“Sure.” With a smile, Lizzie pulled up a chair and sat next to Carol.

“It’s never too late, sweetie.” Carol stated bluntly, and quickly patted Lizzie’s thigh to shush her when she began to protest. “It’s never too late to make things right. I don’t care what you done, sweetie, or what he’s done, it’s never too late.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t know what he did, Carol,” Lizzie weakly protested.

“Is he the young man that was here a while back, that you had you in the bathroom crying your eyes out?” Carol looked at Lizzie knowingly.

“How did you know that?” Lizzie blushed profusely, now wondering if anyone else had heard her that day. God what a mess! 

“Well, he looked just as bad as you did when he left, so I assumed something happened between the two of you. I went after you, but left you alone, figured you wanted privacy.”

Lizzie hung her head low, staring at her feet as her eyes welled up with tears again. _God damn him!_

“Who was he, Lizzie?” Carol asked softly. “I understand if you don’t wanna talk about it sweetie, but sometimes it helps to get a second set of eyes, you know?”

Lizzie wiped at her eyes, her lips trembling as she struggled to remain composed. “Can we go to the break room? I don’t want anyone to see me like this?” Lizzie pleaded, not looking up at Carol.

“Barb? Can you hold the desk down for a few minutes?” Carol spoke into the phone to the other receptionist at the end of the hall. Thankfully it was a dead day today, with no patients currently in the building, so it would be easy for the pair to slip away for a few moments.  Smiling, Carol hung up the phone and stood up.

“Let’s go to the break room.” A few moments later, Barb, the second receptionist, appeared, and Carol and Lizzie were able to sneak off to the break room for a few minutes. Carol shut the door behind them and joined Lizzie at the table.

“So, tell me about him, Lizzie. Who’s this guy that keeps sending you flowers that you keep trying to give away?” Carol smiled gently as she reached across the table and grasped Lizzie’s hands.

“He was my first boyfriend. My first crush, my first kiss,” Lizzie blushed as she glanced up at Carol, “my first…uh…everything.”

“Dear, I’ve got three grown children – it’s no mystery to me how babies are made.” Carol chuckled, causing Lizzie to giggle a little as well.

“So, we were together forever and were gonna get married, and then that show started, and Chase changed.” Lizzie’s lips turned down in a pained frown as she remembered when it all started. “He changed, but I stayed with him, I think ignoring it maybe? Until finally one day I got a phone call and I couldn’t ignore it anymore.” Lizzie wiped at her cheeks as silent tears finally broke free and rolled down her cheeks.  “And then I moved away, and I met Nathan, and I had everything I ever wanted, you know?”

Carol offered a tissue and Lizzie took it, sniffling again as she wiped at her face.

“I had a good life, and we were happy, and I was happy, and then it just all ended, you know?” Lizzie’s eyes were full of tears as she tried to explain it all to Carol.  Sadness, confusion, disbelief – it was all there, still fresh as the day it happened, and she could only think that it was because Chase was being so intrusive, trudging up old memories that she wanted to forget.  _Why wouldn’t he just leave her alone?_

“I’m so sorry, sweetie,” Carol murmured, her own eyes welling up with tears at the young woman in front of her. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, and that you’re still going through all of this.”

"I just wish he would leave me alone!"  Lizzie cried, balling the tissue up in her hands as she got angrier by the minute.

"You must have loved him very much," Carol murmured quietly, and Lizzie nodded. 

"I did. More than anything in the world, and it killed me when I left him and moved away," Lizzie sniffled again, using the mutilated tissue to wipe at her nose.

"I meant Nathan."  Carol quietly spoke.  Lizzie's head jerked up, her shocked eyes wide as she realized what she'd just implied.

"I meant...I just...you know..." Lizzie stammered, still reeling from what she'd just discovered about herself.   What was wrong with her??

"Lizzie, sweetie, I have no doubt in my mind that you loved Nathan, and from what you've told me, he loved you very much."  Carol squeezed Lizzie's hand gently.  "That's not to say that you didn't love Chase either, or that maybe a little piece of him stayed with you.  I don't think we ever forget our first loves, but maybe that's just me."

Lizzie sat before Carol, staring down at the table, more confused than ever.  She felt that she had grieved the loss of her husband, although she did still have many moments of sadness where she felt his absence keenly, especially when she was with their son.  Other times, she felt completely guilty for _not missing him._ She would never admit it to anyone - _and especially not Chase_   - but she had almost backed out of the wedding, very nearly running out before walking down the aisle.   The naive, hopeless romantic in her had dreamed the night before that maybe Chase would come to the wedding, bust the door down and proclaim his undying love for her...but that obviously didn't happen.  She'd gone on and married Nathan, and while she loved him, she was woman enough to admit that she never felt the same kind of passion with Nathan that she had felt for Chase.  Her heart didn't skip so many beats when Nathan entered the room, and she didn't feel her knees buckle when he kissed her, but she chalked it all up to being with someone for a while and getting accustomed to them.  _Passion faded, right?_ Lust and sex were not what you built strong relationships on!  At least with Nathan, she wouldn't have to live in constant chaos, and worry about him cheating on her.  Nathan went to work, took care of her, was always home when he said he was going to be, and he doted on her and Cole;  he was the epitome of a perfect husband.  

 _Nathan was safe;  Chase was not._  

She hung her head a little lower, her chin nearly touching her chest as she realized just what a coward she'd been as the truth dawned on her.   Rather than dealing with Chase, she'd taken the easy way out with Nathan.  And now, it all made sense why she was so aggravated with Chase, and it had nothing to do with him cheating on her - although she was still pissed about that, and probably would be for a good long while.  She hated Chase because she loved him.  She'd probably never stopped loving him, and the fact that she loved a man that she didn't feel safe with both terrified and infuriated her - all at the same time.  

"What are you thinking about?"  Carol asked, interrupting her thoughts. 

"I'm too embarrassed to say," Lizzie whispered, and she wasn't lying - she was completely shocked and embarrassed, and right now she felt incredibly guilty for feeling what she did.  It was wrong on so many levels!

"I'm gonna let you in on a little secret, Lizzie," Carol patted her hand and leaned back in her chair.  "My husband - John -  wasn't my first love.  My first love was Thomas - _my true love, if you will_   - and he was a soldier.  I was pissed off that he wanted to join the Army, and so I childishly threatened to break up with him over his career choice.  I told him me or the Army, and well, he chose the Army, and so I broke up with him.  We were young and dumb and right out of high school, and neither of us had any options career wise.  He begged me to stay with him, to wait for him, but I was too stupid and too selfish, and I was just done with him, you know?  After two months of him being gone, I went out to a bar and met a man and next thing you know I'm pregnant."  Carol sighed, folding her hands in front of her as she continued.  "In my day, you didn't just have babies out of wedlock, you know?   My daddy forced us to get married, and that's what we did.  We had three kids, and we have a good marriage by any standard, but it wasn't the crazy love that I felt for Tommy." 

Stunned at what she was hearing, Lizzie looked up and saw the wistfulness that was in Carol's eyes as she stared out the window.   Was this going to be her future?  Was she going to be like Carol,  60 years old and sitting in a break room somewhere and telling someone else her sad life story?  _God, it was all so hopeless!!_

"So, what am I getting at by telling you all this?"  Carol asked, a warm smile on her face as she looked over at Lizzie.  "I'm telling you that you can play it safe, and be safe, and that's perfectly fine.  Or you can take a chance, and jump, and let life take you where it takes you.  Either way is fine, but whatever you do, make sure you don't have any regrets.  Don't be me."  Carol smiled again and reached across the table, once again taking Lizzie's hands in her own weathered ones.  

"You know, I still wonder about him," Carol chuckled as she winked at Lizzie.  "I wonder if he has a family, and if he's happy, and where he is.  Mostly I wonder if he still thinks about me. Mind you, it only comes every now and then, and of course I feel guilty because John is a good, good man, and a great father to our children.  We've lived a good life, and I would not change it, but it doesn't stop the 'coulda-woulda-shoulda's' , you know?   Every once in a while, I'll see a tall, lanky man with dimples and I wonder if it's Tommy, and for just a moment I'm waiting, breathless to see, but then it's not him, and I go on about my day as usual."

"Wow," Lizzie breathed out, unable to contain her shock at what she'd just heard.  Carol laughed out loud.

"Did I shock you?"  Carol released Lizzie's hands and stood up.  Lizzie followed suit and stood as well, pushing her chair under the table.

"I'm not shocked, just a little...okay yeah, I'm shocked!" Lizzie giggled, unable to control it any longer.  Carol laughed as well.

"Just learn from my mistakes, okay?  If that boy keep sending you flowers, you start accepting them, cause one day they'll stop."

Lizzie nodded in understanding and followed Carol back out to the main reception area.  Thankfully, it was still free of clients, the halls quiet.  Barbara smiled up at the pair.

"Everything alright?" Barbara asked as she stood.  Carol nodded and sat down in her chair. 

"Right as rain, I think!"  Carol winked up at Lizzie, and Lizzie smiled back.  Barbara took her leave and headed back down to her desk, leaving Lizzie and Carol alone. 

"You leave in a few minutes, right?" Carol asked as she stared at her computer screen. 

"Yeah, I get off at 5."  The clock showed fifteen til, and Lizzie was beyond ready to go.  It had been an exhausting day, and it had nothing to do with clients.  She needed to get home and sort her mind out, to think on the things Carol had told her.  It was all just overwhelming right now. 

"Well, I know you must be exhausted, so if you wanna take off early, it's fine by me."  Carol continued typing on the keyboard, not looking up at Lizzie. 

"Really?  That would be awesome, thank you."  Lizzie pulled her name tag off and placed it in the desk drawer as the prepared to leave.

"Okay, see you tomorrow!"  Carol warmly smiled up at her.  Lizzie turned to leave, but then turned around, and stared indecisively at the flowers in front of Carol.  Seeing where her eyes were, Carol reached over and slid the vase towards Lizzie.  "Take them home."

Blushing profusely, Lizzie wordlessly scooped the vase of flowers up in her arms and quickly made her way to her truck.  Once inside and buckled, she stared over at the flowers, a ghost of a smile on her face as she thought about Chase Landry ordering flowers.  _How she wished she could have been a fly on the wall at that florist when the tough alligator hunter ordered flowers!_ She chuckled to herself as she backed up her truck and headed back to Pierre Part to pick up Cole.  For the first time in a good, long while, she had a smile on her face while simultaneously thinking about Chase.  Those two hadn't coexisted in so long, that quite frankly she didn't know how to proceed. 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

Over the next few weeks, Lizzie continued to get flowers from Chase. They usually arrived on Thursdays, and if she were to be honest, she had begun to look forward to them. Each one was accompanied by a different note, short and succinct, but no less meaningful.  The fact that Chase took the time to send handwritten notes stirred up emotions in her that she wasn't quite ready to deal with.  This was a new Chase, _a different Chase,_ and one that scared the absolute shit out of her.  

Today, it was an early Thursday morning before work, and Lizzie was sitting out back on her porch, sipping coffee before she had to get Cole up and take him to her mother’s house. She was still doing her rotations at the clinic, and thankfully, she’d not seen Chase or Troy since then.  She was doing her best to avoid the whole family, but she’d continued accepting the flowers and had taken them all home since that conversation with Carol . She looked down at the pile of notes from Chase that had been tucked into each bouquet, and read over them for probably the hundredth time. 

One talked about a time they spent out on the swamp after getting stuck in the mud, and Lizzie smiled as she remembered that day vividly.  That was the first time she’d kissed him, and it marked the beginning of their relationship transitioning from friends to lovers.  She couldn’t have been more than 12 or 13 years old, so Chase would have been going on 15 or 16. They’d decided to take the four wheelers out to go mudding, but they hadn’t realized just how muddy and flooded the area was that they were going to. It was called the “Pipeline,” and it was usually a wide open strip of land that stayed pretty muddy, making it perfect for mudding in four-wheelers and trucks. The weeks’ past rainfall had made it worse than usual, but they had no way of knowing that before heading down it.  Somehow, they’d managed to get stuck way down, and before they knew it, the sun was setting.  Not wanting to be stranded out on the dark, they decided to walk back home, seeing no other viable option. 

But, Murphy's Law was at play, and Lizzie had gotten her shoes stuck in the mud when she'd hopped off the ATV.  The suction was so strong that she couldn’t get them out, and would be forced to walk barefoot through snake-infested areas. This resulted in Chase deciding to carry her on his back so that she wouldn’t get snake bitten. He quickly found out it was too far – and too hard – to walk in the mud with her on his back, and he and Lizzie had returned back to the four-wheelers to wait it out. Neither one knew what else to do - they were miles out, and the sun was down, the only light being that provided by the moon. Neither had cell phones at that time either, so calling for help was out of the question.  It was obvious that their little jaunt down the Pipeline had not been thought out properly...at all!

Lizzie remembered being half-scared to death, and when she’d heard something rustling in the woods nearby, she’d clambered up the seat and into Chase’s lap, not even thinking twice before doing so. It was there that they shared their first kiss, and even now Lizzie’s cheeks heated up just thinking about it. They were both sweaty from the Louisiana humidity, but she didn’t care. Chase had shifted her on his lap, wrapping his arms around her back and holding her close, when Lizzie got a wild hair and lifted her mouth to his and kissed him. She’d wanted to kiss him as long as she could remember, and thinking she might die out on the swamp that night had finally given her the courage to do it. She giggled, remembering just how silly she was at that age! 

At first Chase seemed shocked, and pulled back, staring down at her in bewilderment. He’d always been like an older brother to her, the protective kind that she didn’t have as an only child. He’d never indicated that he’d found her attractive, or that he had any interest in her whatsoever…until this evening. As Lizzie sat on his lap and stared up at him, she could feel him growing hard against her bottom, and even in her naivety, she knew exactly what _that_ was.  Hormones - both his and hers -  were flying all over the place, and if Troy, Jacob, and Frank hadn’t stumbled upon them shortly thereafter, Lizzie knew she might well have lost her virginity out there on the swamp that very evening!  As it was, she was straddling Chase, his hands up the back of her shirt, when the spotlight landed on them.

It was all screaming and yelling after that, along with quite a few smacks upside Chase’s head from his father’s heavy hand.   Lizzie’s dad was highly pissed, and snatched Lizzie up by her hand and seated her behind him on his ATV and headed back home.  She got her ass chewed something good that night, and was grounded from hanging out with Chase Landry ever again.  _For the rest of her life,_ according to her father!

Not that that stopped the pair whatsoever! They always found ways to hang out at school, and after, sneaking off here and there, right under their parents’ noses. Quite a few times Chase had actually snuck into her house through her window, and they’d spend hours kissing, both afraid to go any further, always stopping just short of having sex. Lizzie was the most afraid, but Chase – being the hormonal teen he was - was getting impatient, no matter how many times and ways they’d satisfied each other without having full-on sex. It wasn’t until her sixteenth birthday that they’d actually managed to go all the way.

Chase had taken her to a movie - but they’d barely watched it – and had decided to take off before it was over so that they could spend some time together alone before Chase had to have her back. Frank was still not quite happy that she _was going anywhere with Chase Landry_ , but both families had begrudgingly accepted that they couldn’t keep the kids apart. That night, in the back of Chase’s big truck, they’d finally made love – if you could call it that.  It had been awkward - and painful at first for Lizzie – with both fumbling in the dark,  but when they finally got their rhythm going,  it had been nothing short of spectacular.  Chase was as kind and gentle as he could manage, given the fact that he was ready to burst from the get-go, but looking back, Lizzie could appreciate the care he’d taken with her for her first time. 

When it was over, Lizzie remembered crying as she felt the weight of him on her, their bodies still tightly joined as she ran her fingers through his sweaty hair. So many thoughts were running through her head at time, from happiness and elation at finally knowing what it was like to make love, to terror at the fact that they'd made love without protection.  Chase leaned up and looked down at her,  concerned with her crying, but she had assured him it was only because she was so happy, and that he’d done nothing wrong.  Relieved, he’d smiled that huge smile that she loved and kissed her, hard on the mouth, before laying back down on top of her. It seemed like neither one wanted to move, even though they were quickly running out of time to get back home before Frank had Chase’s head on a platter.

It was that night that she told him that she loved him, her words whispered so softly in the dark against his temple. And it was that night that she gave her heart away to him, not knowing what the future would hold for the pair.  It was true what they said, that when you give your heart away, _your whole heart,_ you never really get it back.  She and Nathan were happy, but it was not the kind of love that she carried for Chase.  She wasn’t sure if anyone would have ever been able to compete with that, and it made her inexplicably sad to think that she was predestined to be this way for the rest of her life. Would she always be comparing men to Chase Landry? Because if so, she was doomed to fail, because they would never, _ever_ add up to him;  she knew that now without a shadow of a doubt.   She still struggled daily with feelings of guilt surrounding Nathan, and what she perceived was a lack of empathy on her part where he was concerned.   What kind of marriage had she truly had, if this was how she felt after losing her husband so suddenly? 

She sighed and leaned back against her chair, watching as the sun rose over the trees in the early morning.  Knowing what she knew now, she wondered in hindsight if she would have done things differently with Chase.  Should she have tried harder when he begged her to give him more chances? Or should she have dumped him when she first thought he was cheating on her? If she had stayed with him, she would have never met Nathan and she would never have her baby, and that was just unthinkable to her. No, she shook her head as she stood up and pushed those thoughts aside. She'd made the right decisions and  things had worked out the way they were supposed;  there was no going back. All she could do was move forward, and take care of herself and her baby.  That was what mattered now.  All those doodles in her notebooks of his and her names written over and over were just that – doodles and fantasies – and nothing more.  It was a childhood dream, and it was time to grow up.

Lizzie stared at the cards in her hand, a small pile of constant reminders of him. She still didn’t know what to do, although a tiny part of her was screaming to at least go talk to him, to let him know she appreciated the flowers. The other part of her – _the still pissed off part_ – wanted to punish him for all he’d done to her, to make him feel exactly how he’d made her feel. S he’d been taking Cole to her mama’s house in Pierre Part while she was doing clinicals, and occasionally she’d seen Chase, out on the porch or moving about in the yard. She’d done her best to not make eye contact, to get in and get out as fast as possible. She just didn’t know what she wanted to do where he was concerned, but she knew she couldn’t keep accepting his flowers yet all the while ducking him whenever he was around her.  Maybe she would just tell him thanks, but no thanks?  That she didn't need nor want him or his flowers in her life?

But on the other hand, she knew if she were to be completely honest with herself then she could admit that she had lain awake in bed many times over the past few weeks, thinking about that brown eyed-boy that she used to love with all her heart.  Except Chase wasn’t a boy anymore, and she wasn’t a girl anymore – they were both grown now, with all the childish fantasies and dreams a thing of the past.  God it was all so confusing right now!!

The only thing she could cling to was that old saying that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.   In their past,  Chase had shown her far too many times just what kind of man he was, and that was not something – or someone – she needed in her life. 

She scooped up the cards and dumped out the remainder of her coffee before heading back inside.  Her mind was made up, and today would be the last day she accepted flowers from Chase.  She was going to let him know that while she appreciated the thought, she just couldn't keep pretending that everything was okay.  He needed to move on and she needed to focus on her life.   Their time together had passed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not digging this chapter but oh the hell well...


	16. Chapter 16

She didn’t get any flowers that day, and she was feeling a little disappointed, although she’d never let on that she was.  By the time 4pm came, and no delivery, she pretty much conceded to the fact that he hadn't sent her anything today.  What did she expect, though, really?  For the man to keep sending her flowers forever, with not so much as a 'thank you' in return?  Besides, hadn't she decided to tell him she didn't want anymore flowers??  

She snorted to herself as she gulped down some more coffee and tried to motivate herself to finish her day.  Her mood was completely dampened now as her disappointment took over, and she just wanted the day to be over.  Thankfully, it was a long weekend for her, as she was off until the following Tuesday, and she was looking forward to a break so that she could spend some time with Cole.  It felt like she was always away from him, and she hated it with a passion.  This single parent gig was really not cool….

* * *

 

It was almost towards the end of her shift when he came in... _actually when he was wheeled in._   She remembered feeling weak and nauseous when she saw the dark blood stains covering his usual grey shirt and ratty jeans.  She wanted to run to him and run away - _both simultaneously_ \- but the nurse in her kicked in and she followed along behind the on-call doctor,  her legs limp as she waited on orders.

“31 year old male…gunshot…flank…”

Lizzie felt like she was going to pass out when she heard 'gunshot wound', only grasping bits and pieces of information after that as it was thrown about over her head from doctor to nurses.  _Gunshot wound?  He'd been shot?!_ While they were a full ambulatory clinic, getting gunshot wounds and critical cases was not the norm here, and she wasn’t entirely sure she was going to be much use given that it was Chase.  She couldn't see his face as there was too many people surrounding him, and she started to panic.  She just needed to see his eyes to know that he was alright!  She leaned around, trying her best to catch a glimpse of his face, but by now they had placed an oxygen mask over his mouth, and one of the other nurses was blocking him from her view. Goddamnit!

“Lizzie!” The charge nurse yelled at her, finally getting her attention, and she stared back at the other lady with wide eyes. “Get that IV started!”

Given a task to focus on, Lizzie nodded numbly and immediately moved into autopilot as she set about cleaning Chase’s hand. Her entire body was visibly shaking as she placed her trembling fingers on the back of his hand, and nearly screamed when he grabbed her hand and held it tightly in his. She looked up at him, her wide, panicky eyes meeting his brown eyes, and she was shocked to see him staring back at her.  He pulled at the oxygen mask, lowering it just below his mouth as he spoke. 

“I’m good, Lizzie. Just grazed…” His words were weak, just barely above a whisper as he gave her a lopsided smile.  Lizzie watched as his eyelids fluttered closed and his head dropped back against the gurney as he passed out.  His hand went slack in hers, and she felt her heart thud in her chest. _Oh god!_   She reached over and checked his pulse, profusely thanking God when she found it still beating steadily, albeit weak;y. 

“LaPray! IV now!” The head nurse barked again, and Lizzie sprang into action and quickly completed her task. 

When she was done with her portion, she reluctantly stepped back out into the hall to wait as she was no longer needed. Turning around, she was shocked to see Jacob out in the hall, his clothes just as bloody, and when he saw who it was, he jumped up and walked over to her.

“Lizzie! Oh my God! How is he?” Jacob frantically rubbed a bloody hand over his face, and Lizzie could see just how distraught he was over his little brother as his hands shook uncontrollably. She reached out and placed a hand on his forearm,  trying to comfort him, although she was not feeling entirely stable herself.  She had no idea seeing Chase like that would have that effect on her, and she was still reeling from the shock, but she knew that if Jacob saw her freaking out it would only make things worse.  She had to be as level-headed and professional as possible.

“Jacob, what happened?” She tried to steady her breathing as she led him back over to the chairs,  and both sat down. There was no way in hell she was leaving now. She was going to call her mom and tell her what happened, and let her know that she was going to be late;  she wasn’t leaving until she knew Chase was okay.

“We were out on the boat, just like always, doing the same thing we always did."  Jacob rocked back and forth, cradling his head in his hands as he recounted the day's events. "The damn gator rocked the boat and somehow the gun fell out my hands and discharged, and it got Chase in the side. I don’t know if the bullet went in… and... Oh my God, Lizzie!” Jacob covered his face with his hands as he started to cry, his tears causing the stained blood to run down his arms in long, ominous rivulets.

Lizzie felt her stomach roil with dread.  A bullet wound to the stomach was not good, not good at all! So many vital organs, and any could be fatal.   She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to try to let the waves of shock and fear pass, before turning back to Jacob.   He was still rocking, his fingers pressed against his eyes as he continued to cry in anguish.

“Jacob! He’s gonna be okay!” Lizzie whispered as wrapped her arms around him and tried to comfort him, but she was on the verge of breaking down herself.   Judging by how Jacob looked, she had no idea if Chase was going to be okay or not!  She stared back over at the door, her heart in her throat as she waited and prayed. 

* * *

 

A few hours later, the doctor emerged, and Lizzie roused Jacob from where he was slumped over against the seat. Poor guy had finally fallen asleep with exhaustion, and Lizzie had stayed with him, not wanting to leave his side - or Chase’s - until they knew something.

“Dr. Carter!” Lizzie stood and walked over to the on-call doctor, and stood before him. “How is he?”

“Lizzie? Are you family?” Dr. Carter glanced at her curiously, but continued writing in his chart.

“Yes, she’s family,” Jacob answered for her as he came to stand beside her. “How’s my brother, doc?”

“Your brother is a very lucky man, Mr. Landry.” Dr. Carter  stopped writing and looked up at Jacob.  He smiled kindly at the pair before him. “The bullet just barely went in, and passed straight through without any serious damage. It did lead to quite a large amount of blood loss, though,  but I can assure you it looked much worse than it truly was.  He is going to have a fairly open wound for some time, and it'll need to heal before he can do much of anything.  We cleaned it up, made sure there were no fragments, and all in all it came out as well as we could hope for.” 

Letting out a deep breath, Jacob slumped over in relief, his hands on his knees as he chanted 'thank you, God' over and over, and Lizzie smiled through her own tears of relief herself as she patted his back.

“Thank you, Dr. Carter.” Lizzie smiled up at the older doctor, only just controlling the urge to throw herself in his arms and thank him for saving Chase! _God, she was so damn relieved!_

“He’s awake now, but fairly medicated.   We needed to get the antibiotics in just in case, as well as the pain meds, but you can go in and see him whenever you’re ready.” Dr. Carter smiled again as he left the pair and headed down the hall. 

Lizzie turned to Jacob, who had finally stood up and was grinning from ear to ear, his eyes now glossy with happy tears of relief.  He pulled Lizzie in for a hug, and they held each other, both overcome with relief. 

“Thank God! Daddy would have killed me if Chase had been seriously hurt!” Jacob released her and held his hand over his heart, his large fingers trembling as the adrenaline still flowed through his body. “My heart’s beating something crazy! Oh my god!”

“You should go see him, Jacob,” Lizzie nodded towards the door. “I’m sure he’s ready to see you.”

“Yeah, let me go check on him,” Jacob agreed. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and started texting someone as he walked, and Lizzie watched as he disappeared into the room.

She stood alone in the hallway, her heart still thrumming loudly in her chest as she tried to process what had just happened.  Her phone buzzed in her pocket, startling her, and she pulled it out - it was her mother, checking to see what had happened. She’d missed a million and one phone calls, either from Troy, or her mother, and even Bernita! According the voicemail, the Landry’s were on their way, but it would take some time as they were up in Arkansas at their lease. Lizzie assured each and every one of them that Chase was fine, and that she would call if anything changed.   She let her mother know that she wouldn't be leaving until she was absolutely sure that Chase was fine as well. 

She was still sitting in the chair, typing away on her cell when Jacob plopped down next to her.  She looked up at him, a hopeful smile in place.  He looked ten times better than he did before going in!  “How is he?”

“As grumpy as ever,” Jacob chuckled as he ran a clean hand over his face.  He'd obviously cleaned the blood off his hands while in the room, and Lizzie was thankful for that.  Normally blood didn't bother her, but when it was Chase's blood, well, _that was a different story entirely_. 

He leaned forward and fiddled with his pant legs, avoiding looking at her. “You should go in and see him, Lizzie.”

“What? Why?” Lizzie felt her heart start beating erratically again as she stared back with wide eyes at Jacob. 

“Because he wants to see you, and I think,” Jacob looked up and arched a brow at her, “you wanna see him too. I saw how you was looking after him when they took him back.”

Lizzie snorted dismissively and pretended to busy herself with her cell phone, but Jacob reached over and plucked it from her fingers, drawing her still-wide eyes up to his.

“Just go see him, Lizzie.” Jacob gave a small, encouraging smile. “Go check his blood pressure or somethin’.” 

“Very funny!” Lizzie narrowed her eyes at him, but deep inside she knew she wanted nothing more than to go in and see for herself that Chase was indeed well and not in any danger.

“Just go.”

Damn but these Landry men were bossy sometimes!  Nevertheless, Lizzie stood, sucking in a deep breath to steady her nerves as she did so.  She self-consciously smoothed her scrubs down, grimacing when she saw a few spots of blood on her clothing.  “Okay, I’ll go.”

Walking over to his room, she slowly opened it and peered around edge of the door, not sure of what she was going to see, but  what she saw,  she didn’t expect.  Chase was shirtless, his right side bandaged from right under his arm to right above his hip, and wrapped all the way around his stomach.  Her IV that she’d placed was still there, along with another, which she assumed would be antibiotics or pain relief. He had his head turned towards the far wall, away from her, and it looked like he was sleeping, as his chest rose and fell steadily with each breath. She clutched the base of her throat with her hand, feeling that insane urge to cry yet again as she saw him laid up in the bed.  She had so many mixed emotions and she had no idea what to say or what to do, and she was on the verge of backing right back out the door, when she felt a strong hand push her all the way into the room. She turned around and glared at Jacob through the glass window on the door.  The bastard smiled back, winking as he closed the door behind her.  When she turned back around, Chase was staring at her, his beautiful brown eyes heavy with everything that had happened over the past few hours.

“So this is what I gotta do to get you to come see me?” He quipped weakly, and Lizzie couldn’t help but give him a small smile in return;  she was so damn glad to hear him talking!  She hesitantly walked over to him and stood next to his bed.

“How are you feeling?” She stared at the spot in the middle of his chest, her eyes fixated on his tattoo. 

“Better now that you’re here.” He reached up, palm out, and Lizzie slowly placed her hand in his. Chase wrapped his long fingers around her shaking hand. “How are you?”

“Me?” Lizzie squeaked out almost hysterically. “I’m fine!”

“Were you even a little worried about me?” Chase brought her hand up with his and rested it against his chest, drawing her even closer.  Now she stared at the base of his neck, her heart beating loudly in her ears. 

“I’m a nurse, so of course I worry about everyone, Chase,” Lizzie whispered, still doing her damnedest to resist him. She glanced at his side where the bandage was, and wondered if his tattoo would be messed up there.  _What a stupid thing to be thinking about right now…_

“Why won’t you look at me?” Chase asked softly.  Lizzie continued to stare at the bandage, her stomach turning when she saw a hint of red in certain places. She was a nurse for crying out loud!

“I am,” Lizzie mumbled as she worried her lower lip. The tears were welling up in her eyes, and she blinked rapidly, doing her best to hold them at bay, but one motherfucker slid out and rolled down her cheek, giving her away.

“Ah, Lizzie, baby, come ‘ere,” Chase murmured as he pulled her closer.  He scooted over on the bed as much as he could and pulled her down next to him, forcing her against his side. She lay stiff against him, the only movement when she sniffled and wiped at her eyes or nose. Chase continued to hold her hand, pressing it against his chest as the two sat in silence. 

“Thank you for the flowers, Chase,” Lizzie whispered. She had no idea where that came from, and she winced as she waited for his response to the out of place comment. _The man had just been shot and she was talking about flowers._ She was shocked when he pressed his lips against her temple, kissing her gently.

“I won’t quit til you give me another chance.”

Lizzie snorted beside him. “What happened to the Chase I used to know?”

“I told you, he’s gone. I’ve changed, Lizzie.” Chase pulled her again, forcing her to lay her head against his shoulder. “Is this okay?”

“You’re the one that got shot. You tell me?” Lizzie replied, still not completely relaxed against him.

“If this is what I gotta do to get your attention, I’ll let Jacob shoot me every day.” Chase chuckled, but immediately sucked in a deep breath.  His laughter - along with his movements -  had pulled at his wound, and the pain shot through him like fire, just barely concealed by the medications pumping through his IV.   Scared, Lizzie looked up at him.

“Are you okay?” She looked at his gauze, worried that he’d pulled something, and looked back up at him with worried eyes. His eyes were closed, his jaw clenched tightly shut, and his fingers bit into her shoulder where he was holding her. “Chase?” She leaned up and away from him so that she could assess him better.  

“I’m good,” he gritted out from between a forced smile as he opened his eyes and looked up at her.  Lizzie could see in his eyes that he _wasn’t good_ , and that he was most definitely in pain. His face had paled, and he had a fine sheen of sweat covering his brow.

“Maybe I should let you rest.” She moved gently off of him even further, sitting on the edge of the bed.  

“I wish you wouldn’t, but I can’t keep you if you wanna leave,” Chase replied.  His fingers had loosened their grip on her shoulder, and she knew he was quickly running out of steam. His arm fell away, and rested loosely at her hip as he closed his eyes again. “It just fuckin’ hurts every now and then, you know?”

Her heart melting, Lizzie smiled at him, and before she could stop herself, she’d reached out and ran her fingers over his forehead, gently pushing back the hair there. She’d never seen him so weak before, never seen him so vulnerable. So many things were different about _this_ Chase, and it was unnerving her. Chase’s eyes fluttered open just barely, and he gave her a weak smile.

“I think you still like me a little.” His lips barely moved as he spoke, and Lizzie shook her head, knowing he was trying to be funny without hurting himself any further. _Crazy man!_

“That’s still up for debate, Chase Landry,” Lizzie’s smiled turned into a grin as his brows drew together in disappointment, and she reluctantly hopped up off the bed. This was all getting a little too serious too fast for her, and she needed to get out of this room before she did something stupid.

“You’re leaving?” Chase whined pathetically, drawing a giggle from Lizzie.  She looked over his vitals – if only for her own peace of mind – and satisfied with what she saw, turned back to him. He was staring at her with big, brown puppy dog eyes, and it took everything in her to not crawl back up in bed beside him to appease him. But she knew that wouldn’t be good for Chase or her - and besides, he needed to get some rest so that he could heal properly.

“Your parents are on their way, Chase, and Jacob is right outside. I gotta go get Cole from my mama.”

“Will you come back? How long do I have to stay here?” Chase grumbled.

“I’m not sure, but I’ll find out.” She tucked the covers around his legs and moved the IV stand a bit closer so that he wouldn’t pull on the tubes.  With nothing left to do, she looked back up at Chase and readied herself to leave. He was pointing at a spot on his cheek, one eyebrow cocked.

“I think I deserve a kiss...” Chase tapped his cheek as he stared at her, his brown eyes mischievous. 

“Chase Landry!” Lizzie narrowed her eyes on him and shook her head in disbelief.  He was nothing if not persistent, that was for damn sure!

“Don't you want me to get better?” he argued back, just like a child.  Sighing, Lizzie leaned over and quickly placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, ignoring his pointing finger.

“You’re such a baby,” she retorted as she leaned back and stared down at him.  Chase had a happy smile on his face, clearly satisfied with himself.

“I feel ten times better already.” He winked at her, and Lizzie’s heart flip-flopped in her chest. How in the hell could this man be laid up in a hospital bed but still manage to take her breath away with something as simple as a wink?  Lord, how quickly she fell right back into his trap!  

"I'm gonna go then.  I'll send Jacob back in."  Lizzie headed back over to the door without waiting for a reply from Chase.  She needed to get out of here, to clear her thoughts and get her mind right.  Her feelings and emotions were all over the place. 

"Come see me again, please?" Chase asked, his eyes hopeful as he looked over at her.  Lizzie turned back and just shook her head as she opened the door.

"No promises."  She gave him a quick smile and headed back out into the hallway, and leaned up against the closed door as she tried to catch her breath.  Jacob walked over to her, a smile in place as Lizzie glared at him.

"You're an ass, Jacob Landry!" she hissed up at him, remembering earlier.

"Aww, Lizard! You needed a push...literally," he teased, not concerned with her aggravation towards him at all.  He crossed his arms over his chest and Lizzie huffed as she walked away from him. 

"Don't call me that stupid name, Jacob!" Lizzie growled, aggravated all the more at his use of her nickname from long ago.  Little Lizzie the Lizard! _Goddamnit!_

"See you tomorrow, Lizzie?"  Jacob called cheerfully, earning another glare from her as she turned to look at him.

"I'm off til, Tuesday, so no, you won't see me tomorrow!"  She continued walking down the hall, but Jacob wasn't done.

"You'll be back, Lizard!" Jacob sniggered, but this time Lizzie ignored him as she headed into the break room to get her things.   She just wasn't going to rise to the occasion, no matter how much she wanted to go and punch Chase's brother in his damn face.

_Damn these Landry men!_


	17. Chapter 17

It was Sunday, and Lizzie was at her parent’s house for the day with Cole. However, instead of relaxing and enjoying the day, she was keyed up and her nerves shot, as she was heading over to the Landry's to see about Chase.  Apparently he'd been discharged the day prior, and according to Bernita, he wasn't doing too well with his after-care.  He wasn't allowing anyone to help him, and his parents were concerned that he'd done something to his wound.   She'd managed to not go back and see him while he was in the hospital, but here she was, thrust right back into the thick of it.   Lizzie had reluctantly agreed to go and check on him, but she vowed to herself - and to her mother - that she was _only going over there to check on him;_   she wasn't staying to chit-chat, and all that other shit.  She was going to be professional and be as quick as possible. 

* * *

 

Lizzie walked into the Landry’s house, nervous and jumpy as hell as she looked around for Chase.

“He’s over in the guest room, Lizzie,” Bernita answered her unspoken question, having met her at the door and walking with her into the living room.  She nodded her head towards the room off the main living area. “It’s too hard for him to get up the stairs for the time being.”

“I’ll just go and see what's going on, if that's okay right now?” Lizzie asked shyly.  Damn but it was awkward right now!

“Go right ahead, sweetie. I’m sure thankful you agreed to come! He needs to get checked out for sure.” Bernita patted Lizzie’s arm gently before walking back into the kitchen area. "Holler if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay,” Lizzie mumbled as she headed to the door. She knocked on it softly, worrying her lower lip as she waited.  When no response came, she knocked a little louder, anxiety steadily rising in anticipation at what was behind the door before her. 

“Come on!” Chase barked from inside, and Lizzie winced at his tone.  He was certainly in a mood today, or at least it sounded like it!  If he was gonna be a dick, she'd just have Bernita call for someone else to come check on him!  Still, she hesitantly opened the door and peered around it. 

“Chase?” She searched the room, and finally saw him sitting on the edge of his bed.  At her voice, her turned, a smile slowly forming as he saw her, and his annoyance disappeared somewhat. 

“Lizzie! Come in!” He motioned with his head, and Lizzie did as he asked, closing the door behind her quietly as she took a deep breath.

“How are you?” She asked, her voice stiff as she tried to remain unmoved by him.  It was futile though, and she could feel her heart pounding against her ribs as she stared at him.  He was shirtless, his broad back smooth and tanned.  She could see his bandage was still in place on his side, but it was no longer wrapped all the way around his waist, leaving his tattoos on full display.  She'd forgotten how gorgeous he really was...

“Shitty,” he grumbled, drawing her out of her musings.

“Why? What’s wrong?” Lizzie asked as she moved closer. She could now see very clearly the veins in his arms were prominent as they clutched the edge of his bed. “Are you hurting?”

Lizzie moved into 'nurse mode', and quickly walked around the bed and knelt before him.  He was wearing loose basketball shorts, slung low on his hips, and now she could see his wound very clearly.  It was covered with a bandage, but it looked as if blood were seeping through.

“Did you do something to this?” Lizzie asked as she lightly touched his bandage with just the tips of her fingers. Chase flinched and moved back from her touch, drawing her eyes up to his. His jaw was tense, and she could tell he was not very comfortable at all. 

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Chase sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “But I’m in so much fuckin’ pain that I can’t get up.”

“Why didn’t you call for help?” Lizzie demanded as she frowned up at him.

“ _Ask my mommy to take me to the bathroom?”_ Chase rolled his eyes as he looked down at her. “No thanks.”

“You’re a hard-headed ass, Chase!” Lizzie stood and held her hands out. “Come on, I’ll help you.”

“Lizzie…” Chase began, but she shushed him quickly, brushing aside his reservations.

“I do this for a living, remember? Just another patient.” Lizzie beckoned him with her hands again, all the while trying her damnedest to convince herself of what she'd just said.  “How do you wanna do this?”

Sighing, and realizing he was out of options, Chase shifted a bit as he looked up at her. “If you can help me stand, I should be good. It’s just gettin’ the fuck up that hurts so bad.”

“Okay, Chase, I’m gonna help lift okay?  You tell me if I’m going too fast, or what I need to do differently.” Lizzie leaned down close, doing her best to stay professional and tell herself he was just another patient, and she'd done this a thousand times before.  _He was just another patient!_ She placed her hands under his arms,  grasped at his back, and helped pull him up as he pushed off the bed. 

Chase groaned, but finally stood, albeit shaky on his feet. Lizzie continued holding him, her fingers gripping his back as she stood before him, and she didn’t protest when he placed his hands at her shoulders.  It was all she could do to not groan herself as she stood so close, breathing in his scent and feeling the warmth of his skin under her fingertips.  As much as she knew Chase needed her right now, she wanted nothing more than to bury her face against his chest, to hold him and let him hold her.  She was absolutely insane...

“Give me a minute, okay?” Chase whispered against her forehead, his eyes closed as he spoke. “Little dizzy right now…”

“Take all the time you need, Chase,” Lizzie gently replied. She felt so bad for him!  Chase leaned forward, his chin against her forehead, and Lizzie finally felt him relax just a bit in her hands, the pressure from his fingers biting into the skin on her shoulders relaxing just a fraction.

“I think we can head that way now.” His voice was weak, and Lizzie knew he was worn out from just standing.

“Okay do you want me to walk at your side, or stay here in front?” Lizzie leaned back and looked up at him. He had his eyes closed still, and Lizzie could see the sweat beading on his forehead and upper lip.

“Let’s try the side, see how that goes.”

Nodding, Lizzie moved off to his side and grasped his arm. “We’ll go slow, okay? You tell me if I need to slow down, or what I need to do.”

“Mmm hmmm,” Chase mumbled Lizzie could see his jaw tensing as they began to move. She helped him slowly make his way over to the bathroom that was connected to the guest room, and together, they walked inside and stood before the toilet.

“Chase?” Lizzie asked, hoping he would catch on.  She’d helped countless clients go to the restroom before, but that was work, and this was…well… _this was Chase_.

“I just gotta piss,” he cracked his eyes open and stared down at her, and she was relieved to see the faintest bit of humor in his brown eyes finally reflecting back at her.  “You ain’t seein’ my ass today. Sorry.”   Unable to help it, Lizzie giggled as she held onto him, causing Chase to crack the tiniest of smiles.

“Well damn! That’s the only reason I came over here!” Lizzie teased playfully.

“When I get better, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Chase teased back, one eyebrow arched, and Lizzie gasped, her cheeks heating at his remark.

“Okay, I think I’ll let you do what you gotta do now,” she crawfished, feeling flustered at this turn in conversation.  This flirting between her and Chase was making her uncomfortable.

“I’ll stop, I promise,” Chase replied knowingly. “Let me go real quick, and then if you don’t mind, help me back out to the bed?”

“Yep.” Lizzie’s voice was high with anxiety. “I’ll just wait outside, okay?”

“I think it would be better if you just plugged your ears, and waited.” Chase looked at her, serious this time. “I'm afraid I’m gonna fall down.”

Lizzie nodded and turned around,  facing the wall and placing her hands on her ears as she waited.  A few moments later, she faintly heard the loud flush of the toilet and she uncovered her ears. “Good?” She called over her shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

Lizzie turned around and was again momentarily stunned as she saw just the faintest bit of Chase's hip as he attempted to pull his shorts back up.  He had a tan line right at his hip where the waist of his shorts lay, and even now, he hadn't been able to pull them up all the way, leaving a a tantalizing patch of skin visible that had not been before.  She did her best to not look at his stomach as she walked over to him, knowing that seeing anymore of his 'happy trail' would be a bad, bad thing!  Even now, wounded and barely able to walk, she could feel her body reacting to him, and she did her best to tamp it down before he noticed.

“Okay, let’s go back slowly,” Lizzie placed her arm around his again, and together they slowly walked back over to Chase’s bed.  When they finaly stood before it, she looked up at him and saw that he was frowning again as he hesitated. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s the going down that hurts the most.”  He was aggravated and dreading sitting down; Lizzie could feel it by the way he was squeezing her forearm with his fingers.

“We gotta do it, Chase, so let’s just go slow okay? I’ll hold you as much as possible, but you're heavy, so it might hurt a little.” Lizzie waited as he turned around and faced her, his back to the bed, and it was then that she saw just how bad he was hurting.  His lips were taut, his jaw ticking, and she would swear he was on the verge of tears.

“Cha-“

“Let’s just fuckin' do it, okay.” He interrupted her angrily. “The quicker the better.” 

Lizzie nodded, and together, they slowly moved so that Chase could lay back down on the bed.  After a few groans and terrifying moments where Lizzie thought she was going to lose her grip on him, he was finally seated on the bed, and she waited while he caught his breath.

“Do you want me to lift your legs while you lay back? Take the pressure off your side?” Lizzie looked down at his bare feet and then back up at him. He just nodded in agreement, not caring anymore.  "Okay, here goes.  Lifting your legs now."  Lizzie reached down and gently lifted his legs as he maneuvered himself back against the pillows.  Finally, he was settled, and she watched as he closed his eyes and breathed a great big sigh of relief.  As he did so, she glanced down at his bandages and saw that there was what appeared to be fresh blood seeping through even more so than before.  

“Chase? Can I take a peek at your stitches?” Lizzie asked, looking up at him in concern.

“Whatever you wanna do, I don’t care.” He still had his eyes closed as he muttered those words.

Trying not to take his mood personally, Lizzie lightly peeled off the bandage at his side, and just as she suspected, there was blood seeping out from the sutured wound site. Not a lot, but enough that she felt like she needed to clean it and re-bandage it again.  She quickly went back to the bathroom, washed her hands, and returned with the box of supplies sent from the hospital.   She knelt down next to him.

“I’m gonna take this off and clean you up, okay?” Lizzie informed him as she pulled the bandage off slowly.  He flinched as she did so, but otherwise made no move to stop her.  After removing all the gauze and tape, she cleaned him up and bandaged him again, satisfied that she'd stopped the bleeding.  She couldn't see any stitches pulled out, and the wound didn't look infected, so as far as she could tell, he'd just aggravated it a bit in his stubbornness.  She leaned back on her heels, cleaned up the mess on the floor, and carried it to the bathroom to dispose of it .  When she returned, Chase was staring up at her, and she was shocked to see what appeared to be gratitude.   First, she was still reeling as she'd never seen him so weak and vulnerable, and second, Chase Landry had never been grateful _to her_ for anything.  He'd never rubbed things in her face, but he knew - _and she knew -_   that he didn't need her for anything.  That had always been abundantly clear while they had been together.  This was an all-together different reality...for both of them.  

"Thank you."  He smiled up at her, a weak, tired, _adorable_ smile that made her want to hug the daylight out of him.  _God! What was wrong with her???_

"Just doing my job," she nonchalantly replied, but she knew her voice came out breathy. 

"And I appreciate it," Chase continued, undeterred by her dismissal of his thanks.  "You didn't have to come, so thank you. Really."

"Yeah, well, I should probably leave, so..."  Lizzie looked around the room, trying to find something to cling to to get the conversation off her!

"I wish you wouldn't," Chase countered.  He lifted his hand and grasped hers, drawing a soft gasp from her.  When his fingers intertwined with hers, she bit down on her lip - hard - as her arms starting shaking at that simple touch.  "Can you stay a while?"

"Chase...." Lizzie shook her head.

"I got myself shot for you, so just for a little while?  Pretty please?" He pleaded hopefully.  Lizzie narrowed her eyes as she stared down at him.

"That's not funny, Chase!"  Lizzie bit out heatedly.  _Why was he making a joke of getting shot?  He could have died, for Christ's sake!_

He tugged on her hand, pulling her a little closer to the bed.  "If you stay for a while, I promise I'll ask for help from my Mama from now on."  He blinked up at her, doing his best 'puppy dog' impression, and she couldn't help but smile a little.

"You're a handful, you know that?"  Lizzie smiled down at him, and was rewarded with a huge smile back.   Relaxing a bit, she gently sat down on the edge of his bed, taking care not to shift him in any way.     He still clutched her hand tightly in his, and surprisingly, she didn't want him to let go.  The way he was rubbing his thumb against the side of her hand was sending small, tingly sensations up and down her arms, the feeling going straight to her groin, and she was enjoying it.  _Holy shit, but she was enjoying it!_

"Same thing my Mama says," Chase chuckled.  "How's work?"  he asked, drawing her eyes back up to his. 

"Work?"  Lizzie snorted hysterically.  _He wanted to talk about work?_

 _"_ Seen any good asses lately?"  Chase grinned as he teased her. 

"Oh yeah, I see hot asses all day long," Lizzie teased back, her brow arching with delight at the the fact that he seemed to not like that reply.  His eyes narrowed just imperceptibly as his fingers tightened around hers. 

"That didn't go like I planned," he muttered petulantly, and Lizzie couldn't help but snort with laughter at his disgruntled demeanor. 

"Do you really think I see any hot asses at the clinic, Chase?  Pierre Part and Thibodaux?"  She cocked her head to the side as she stared at him.  He visibly relaxed at her response, and Lizzie couldn't help but feel a little bit happy that Chase seemed to be jealous of her possibly seeing other men at the clinic.  Another first, as he'd never been jealous of her. _Ever._

"Look, I'm just gonna be blunt and say what I wanna say, okay?"  Chase blurted out, not waiting for her to respond.  "Getting shot makes you think about things.  I wanna start over, Lizzie. I'm begging you to give me a chance."  He squeezed her hand again, pulling her attention back up to him.  His eyes were wide...and was that nervousness she saw in his expression??  She was shocked, completely stunned, at his words spoken so hastily.  _Where the hell was Chase Landry, and who was this man before her?_

"Lizzie?  Can you say something?"

Lizzie stared at him, her brows knotted in confusion and not a little bit of anger.  _How dare he?_   _How fucking dare he do this to her now?_   She jerked her hand from his and angrily glared at him.

“You really think something of yourself, don’t you? Do you think I’m so desperate that I’d run back to you, to let you fuck around on me again? To let you play your little games again?” Her tone was scathing, filled with years of hatred, and years of heartbreak - all finally coming full circle as her eyes narrowed on him. “You disgust me, Chase. You think a few flowers, and a few 'I’m sorry’s' will cut it? After all you did?”

"No. I don't think that solves it at all, and I never thought it would."  Chase agreed, throwing her off-guard again.  "You're right, Lizzie."

Taken aback,  Lizzie's lips twitched in anger at his response.  She was furious!  Why wouldn't he argue back with her instead of agreeing with her? 

"If there's one thing I regret more than anythin' in this world, it's not goin' to your wedding and tellin' you exactly how I felt.  I should have never let you marry Nathan without being honest with you."  Chase's words were solemn -  she could see the earnestness in his eyes - and Lizzie felt the bottom drop out almost as if she were falling.   She had wished so many times - _and up to the very minute of her wedding day_ , _damn him!_ \- that he would have done just that, to come to her and tell her _that he wanted her,_ and that they were going to be together.   

In that moment, when Chase was laying it all bare before her so freely, she wanted to rail at him, to throw things at him - both physical and verbal - to let him know what an asshole he was and had been.  But then, in the very same breath, she wanted to break down in relief, to tell him how she'd wanted the same thing, and that she'd always wanted him, and she probably always would.   The two were warring within her, one thought process leaning towards forgiveness, all the while the other hurtled towards hurting him the way he'd hurt her.   She stood up, shaking on her feet as she stared down at him.  

"Call someone else when you need help, Chase," she gritted out between clenched teeth.  She wasn't ready - _not nearly ready_ \- to forgive him just yet.  "I can't believe you just said what you did. You have no idea how much of a jackass you are!"  She scooped up her cell phone and purse, and slung the latter over her shoulder.

He stared up at her in confusion, clearly not comprehending what she was trying to tell him.  He knew she would be angry, but he had the distinct feeling she was trying to tell him something without saying it out loud. How he wished he could read minds!  Just a few damn moments ago he had her smiling at him, and now they were back to square-fuckin'-one!!  He was still staring at her when she leaned down and pointed a finger in his face.  He was heartbroken to see she was on the verge of tears, her eyes heavy and glossy.  All he ever did was make her cry, and all that ever did was make him hate himself all the more...

"I waited for you!  I fucking prayed that you would come, but you never did!" She was hissing, but Chase could hear the trembling in her words as she continued.  "You let me go, Chase!  

"Lizzie, look," Chase held his hand up, but Lizzie shushed him with a wave of her finger before his face.   She licked her lips, trying to compose herself as a tear rolled down her cheek, and she wiped it away angrily.

"Just don't!" she whispered as she pointed at him.  "Don't!"

Without another word, she stood up and practically ran to the door, slamming it on the way out.  Chase sighed and lay back against the pillows, knowing he'd somehow inadvertently fucked it up again.   He had no idea what she was talking about when she said she'd waited for him, and that he'd never come.  What the hell did that mean?   He didn't fucking know!  Aggravated, he picked up his cell phone and dialed the florist again.  He was going to have to double his efforts with Lizzie if he ever wanted her back.  That meant he was gonna have to take her angry words and be the whipping boy for a while, but he'd already resigned himself to that fate.  It was true what they said:  don't do the crime, if you can't do the time. 

He was just going to have to do the time, no matter how long it took. 

 

 

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Chase limped up the steps to the clinic, putting most of his weight on his good side, and opened the door. He was still hurting from his brother shooting him – _that was fucking weird to think about!_ \- but he’d survived.  Besides, he needed to do this on his own this time, and waiting til he’d fully healed wasn’t gonna cut it as far as he was concerned.  He glanced down at the large bouquet of flowers, wondering how she would respond to him doing this in person.  As he walked slowly down the hall, his heart started pounding in his chest as he approached the nurses’ desk.  Just being back in this cold, sterile place - combined with the idea of bringing these flowers to Lizzie – was enough to make his forehead break out in a cold sheen of sweat.  Pushing down the thought of bolting right back out the door, he rounded the corner and made his way over to the nurses station. There was an older woman sitting there, her head bowed down as she stared at some paperwork in front of her, but Lizzie was nowhere to be found. Like the coward he was, he was almost relieved that she wasn’t there!

“Uhm…excuse me?” Chase mumbled quietly as he stood before the older woman.  She looked up, a smile on her weathered face.

“Hello! Can I help you?”

“Uhm…yeah…uhm my name is Chase…and I was hoping to drop these flowers off with Lizzie...I mean Elizabeth...Elizabeth LaPray.” Chase couldn’t stop fumbling over his words, and he could feel his cheeks heating as the older woman stared back at him.

“Well, Chase, if you wanna wait just a moment, Lizzie will be right out.” The woman stood and held out her hand. “I’m Carol, the office manager. Lizzie’s told me so much about you.”  She smiled at him like a mother would smile at her child, and he felt the sweat roll down his back as his nerves continued to fray.  Chase swallowed hard, but made no move to take Carol’s proffered hand.

What the hell did that mean? _What had Lizzie told this woman?_  

His concern must have registered with Carol, as she reached over and gently grabbed Chase’s hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

“It’s nothing bad, sweetheart.” Carol gave him a gentle smile, a reassuring smile.

“Okay,” Chase mumbled, more to himself than to Carol, and the older woman chuckled as she released Chase’s sweaty hand. 

Before she could say anything else, a door off the side of the hall opened, revealing Lizzie, and a young doctor. Chase’s lips thinned as he watched Lizzie smile up at the man. She had one hand on her hip, while the fingers of the other hand worried her lower lip as she focused on whatever it was the doctor was showing her on the chart. Chase felt even more aggravation when he saw the doctor wrap his arm around Lizzie and pull her into his side for a hug.  A chaste hug, but a hug nonetheless, and Chase couldn't help but wonder what the hell was up with that?  Since when did doctors hug the nurses?  Chase was still trying to figure that out when the doctor left and headed back down the hallway, leaving Lizzie alone. She headed towards him and Carol, and he watched as the emotions flitted across her face at realizing he was there. 

“Chase?” Lizzie’s eyebrows drew together as she looked between him and Carol. “Is something wrong?”

Carol quietly rolled her chair over to the other side of the station, giving Chase and Lizzie as much privacy as she could afford them.

“No. I just wanted to uh…come by and…you know I was drivin’ down this way…and…well I brought you these flowers.” He pushed the flowers across the counter top, towards her. He could feel his cheeks blooming anew with embarrassment as his heart sped up in his chest.   _Why the fuck wouldn’t she say anything?_   She just kept standing there, staring at him with that confused look on her face!

“Uhm..okay.” Lizzie finally responded, offering him a small smile as she looked the flowers over. “They’re beautiful, Chase. Thank you.”

Chase stood up a little straighter, relieved that maybe she appreciated his effort a little at least.

“How are you feeling?” Lizzie asked as she nodded down to his side.

“Oh, that? I’m good, Lizzie,” Chase replied with a small smile of his own.  He really _wasn’t_ good, but he wouldn’t tell her that.  Even now, he felt the dull ache start up again in the spot where he’d been shot, and the more he moved around, the worse the pain got.  He knew he’d pushed it today, but he had to come see her; he knew she wasn’t going to come see him any time soon.

“It’s not even been a week, Chase.   Are you sure?” Lizzie glanced down at his side again, her brows knitted in concern.  Chase could admit that he was more than a little happy to see that she was concerned over him, but just as he was just about to reply, the doctor from before appeared and interrupted them.

“Elizabeth? I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need you in 202 as soon as possible.” The doctor handed Lizzie a file, and Chase took a moment to size the man up.

Dark blonde hair, not unlike Lizzie’s, dark brown eyes, and of similar height and stature to himself.  Arrogant and self-assured cock-sucker with a medical degree, and Chase hated him immediately. _Fucker._   Chase’s eyes narrowed as the doctor blatantly ignored him and headed back down the hall, and he openly stared daggers into the doctor's back as he retreated back to the room his patient was in.

“Chase?” Lizzie’s voice dragged him back into the present, and he blinked down at her. She was all but rolling her eyes at him, but he didn’t care not one bit.

“Yeah? Sorry,” he apologized.

“Look, I’ve gotta get to work, Chase.” Lizzie picked up the flowers. “Thank you again for these.” She turned to walk away, but Chase grabbed her by the elbow, halting her.

“Are you dating that doctor?” Chase asked bluntly.  Lizzie stared up at him at first in confusion, but he could tell the exact moment when her mood went from questioning to anger.

“If I was,” she gritted out as she jerked her arm from his grasp, “it would be none of your damn business!” Lizzie marched down the hall and into the empty lounge, unaware that Chase had followed her.

But he had, and once they were both inside, he closed the door behind them, grabbed her about the waist, and pushed her up against the closed door. Lizzie stared back at him with wide, wary eyes, but he could see the effect he had on her. Her pupils had dilated, her breathing had quickened, and no, she hadn’t kicked him in the balls just yet; she still wanted him as much as he wanted her. Emboldened by this small victory, he pressed forward and lowered his lips to hers.

“I’m gonna kiss you, Lizzie,” Chase murmured at the corner of her lips, right as they parted to welcome him. He smiled when her felt her fingers grip the back of his arms. _Oh yes, she wanted him._ Chase lightly moved his lips against hers, just enough to cause a soft gasp to escape. One hand traveled down her side and gripped her hip, holding her tightly against him as he pressed his frame to hers.

“Kiss me back,” he whispered as he nibbled on her lip.  Lizzie whimpered against him, and Chase felt her fingers travel up his back and work themselves into his hair at the nape of his neck as she pulled him to her. Her lips were soft and warm and inviting, and when he pressed his tongue into the soft opening of her mouth, Lizzie opened to him, giving him free access.

“Chase…” she whispered against his lips as she pulled back just slightly. “Chase…”

“Mhmmm…” Chase mumbled as he kissed along her soft jawline.  Lord how he had missed kissing this woman!

“Chase!” Lizzie whispered louder, pushing at his chest as she did so. Chase stared down at her with eyes clouded with desire, his eyes as dark as night.

“Yeah?”

“We can’t do this here, Chase!” Lizzie wriggled until she could move out from under his arms. She scooted back away from him and crossed her arms over her chest almost defensively.

Frustrated, Chase leaned his arm up against the door and rested his head on his forearm for just a moment.  With a deep breath, he stood up and turned to face Lizzie. She still looked completely frazzled, and still sexy as hell, and it was taking everything in him to not kiss her again, but he knew she just might kick him in the balls this time, and he shouldn't press his luck, but damn...

“We can’t do this here, I agree,” he murmured as he moved closer to her. “Can we do it somewhere else?” He grinned cheekily at her, and watched as her face turned 50 different shades of red at his innuendo.

“Chase Michael Landry!” Lizzie practically screeched, her cheeks blooming with righteous indignation as she glared at him. 

Chase couldn’t help but laugh out loud at her, but immediately grabbed his side as the pain shot through him.  He winced, one hand clutched at his side as he leaned over in an effort to catch his breath.  In a flash, Lizzie was at his side, her small, deft fingers searching him over as her earlier anger was forgotten.

“Chase? Are you okay?” She gently touched his hand where it was resting over his wound site.  With a grimace, Chase finally stood up, and plastered a strained smile on his face.  She could tell he wasn't okay, as his face had paled, losing all it's color as his forehead broke out in sweat. 

“I’m fine, Lizzie. Just a little discomfort is all,” he continued smiling through gritted teeth.

“You’re a stubborn, stubborn man, Chase Landry!” Lizzie admonished him as she led him over to a chair at the lounge table. She helped him slowly lower himself down, and the both breathed a sigh of relief when he was finally seated. “You shouldn’t be walking around, Chase! You should still be in the bed, recovering!”  Without asking, she lifted his shirt and peeked at the bandage that was still in place, ensuring that no blood was present.

“Well, I knew you weren’t gonna come see me, so I had to come see you,” Chase replied. 

Something in his tone drew Lizzie’s eyes up to his, and her breath caught the look on his face. He reached down and ran his fingers over her cheek, a move so gentle and so foreign between them.  Chase had never been the romantic, gentle type, and everything he was doing now - from the flowers to his gentle touches - were all throwing her for a loop.  She just couldn't figure him out anymore!

 “Give me a chance, Lizzie,” Chase’s voice was gentle as he pleaded with her. “Just a chance, that’s all I’m askin’ for. If I screw up again, that’s it, I promise. I’ll never bother you again.”

“Chase-”

“Please, Lizzie. Just one chance. I promise to God,” he placed his hand over his heart as he shook his head at her, “I’m not that asshole you knew before.  I’ve changed, Lizzie. “ He cupped her cheek with his free hand.

“And what happens if you screw up again?” Lizzie whispered as her eyes welled with tears. She couldn’t go through that again with Chase, and especially not with _this Chase._   It would destroy her.

Gritting his jaw, Chase leaned forward and pulled Lizzie up and onto his lap, and he just barely stifled the groan of pain that tried to escape his lips as he pulled her to him. His side was on fire, and he knew he would pay for this later, but right now he didn’t care.  He was making headway with Lizzie, no matter how small;  he was making headway and he had to keep going.

“I won’t screw up again,” he vowed solemnly. Lizzie sat stiffly on his lap, but Chase could feel her relaxing against him somewhat. “I know what I lost, Lizzie, and I won’t do that again.”

“I have a son, Chase,” Lizzie protested weakly.

“I know,” Chase softly replied.  He gripped Lizzie’s chin in between his fingers and gently turned her to face him. Her blue eyes were wide and wary, full of uncertainty and he was she was remembering their painful past. His heart was breaking for her, and all the while he was hating himself again for being such a damn asshole!  What the hell was wrong with him to think it had been okay to treat someone that way?

“I’m scared, Chase,” she admitted softly.  A lone tear rolled down her cheek, and Chase gently wiped it away with his rough thumb.

“You don’t have to be scared, sweetie.” He pulled her forward and hugged her, and he was relieved to feel her hug him back. It was almost like she was clinging to him, and his heart swelled with something he wouldn’t yet name.  She was trusting him, opening up to him, and he couldn’t be more grateful.  He was damn near on the verge of tears himself, if he were to be perfectly honest.  They sat like that, in a not-quite comfortable silence for a few moments before they were interrupted by Carol.  The door flew open, shocking all three of them.  

“Oh, Lizzie! I’m sorry!” Carol exclaimed as she covered her mouth with her hand.  Lizzie immediately jumped off of Chase’s lap, and stood guiltily before the older woman, and even though Carol was smiling hugely behind her hand, Lizzie couldn’t help but be completely mortified at having been caught in such a manner.

“No, Carol, I’m sorry!” Lizzie wrung her hands nervously. It was highly inappropriate to be in the lounge and behaving this way!

“Lizzie, sweetie, it’s okay,” Carol assured the younger woman as she walked over to her and gently patted the younger woman's trembling arm. “Lucky it was me and not the doctor, but you guys oughtta take this elsewhere.”  With a smile and a wink at both Chase and Lizzie, Carol gently closed the door behind her.

Chase stood up slowly, holding on to the chair and taking care not to put too much weight on his injured side.

“I’ll let you get back to work, okay?” Chase smiled as Lizzie turned and narrowed her eyes on him, but he could tell she wasn’t as aggravated as she pretended to be, though.  He crooked his finger at her, beckoning for her to come forward.  Surprisingly, she did, and when he opened his arms, she moved right into them. He rested his chin on top of her head, and both let out a collective sigh of relief.

“This is right where you’re supposed to be, sweetie,” Chase kissed the top of her head.

“We’ll see,” Lizzie whispered back. She hugged him tight once more and then stepped out of his arms.  She wiped at her face and righted her clothing. “Now, you need to go, Chase. Before I get fired.” Chase tipped his hat at her and followed her out of the room and back into the hallway.

“I’ll call you this evening, okay?” Chase informed her as he dug his keys out of his pocket.

“Okay,” Lizzie replied as she walked back over to the nurse’s station. Carol was smiling at them both, knowingly.

“Bye, Ms. Carol!” Chase called cheerfully, earning another glare from Lizzie as he limped down the hall.  Carol happily waved to Chase, and then turned her attention back to Lizzie.

“Well?” Carol asked bluntly. Lizzie pretended to be busy with some paperwork, but Carol saw through her ruse. She reached over and placed a hand on the stack of papers that Lizzie was shuffling back and forth. “Lizzie?”

“That’s him,” Lizzie replied quietly. “That’s the guy…the flower guy…you know what I mean?” She looked up at Carol, her tone hesitant and eyes wide with indecision.

“That’s the Chase you’ve talked so much about, huh?” Carol continued smiling. “Remember what I told you? About my situation?”

“Yes,” Lizzie grumbled under her breath as she scooped up the papers in front of her and walked away.  

She could hear Carol laughing softly to herself, and only when she was sure that she was out of view, did Lizzie also smile to herself.   She clutched the papers to her chest as she made her way down to where the doctor was waiting for her.  She hadn't been this happy in a long, long time, and she was more surprised than anyone that it had been Chase Landry that put that smile on her face.  

Life certainly had a weird way of working things out, didn't it?


	19. Chapter 19

A few hours later, and Lizzie was just pulling into her mother’s driveway when her phone rang again.

She didn’t even have to glance down to know that it was Chase.

She had been avoiding his phone calls all weekend, and if she were to be honest with herself, she had no idea why. He’d come to the clinic and they'd had a good few moments, and she felt good about where they might be heading, but something was still off.  

She parked her car and shut off the engine, but didn’t get out just yet.  Her head flopped back against the head rest and she closed her eyes, her mind swirling with a million thoughts. 

_She was terrified._

Chase Landry scared the shit out of her. That was exactly what was wrong.

She was terrified, and she could feel the pull that Chase had on her, and she was terrified that she was going to end up right back in his arms again.  

And while she could admit that _she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms,_ she also didn’t want what _usually_ happened after - to be fighting with him, and to be broken up, and wondering if he was cheating, and when he was coming home, and all that shit.  

She was terrified.

Bottom line.

With a sigh - _and without looking in her rearview mirror to the Landry’s house across the street_ \- she unbuckled and quickly made her way out of her car and into her mother’s house.

“Momma?” Lizzie called as she dropped her bag and purse down by the couch. She walked through the quiet house, her anxiety rising as she realized that her family wasn't there.

“Momma?”

Her eyes were drawn to a note hung neatly on the fridge, and she groaned inwardly as she pulled it off to read her mother's handwriting. 

_**Gone to the Landry’s for a boil. I’ve got the baby with me. Come join when you get here.** _

Lizzie closed her eyes and leaned up against the cabinet.  What she wanted to do was slink down the cabinet front, to curl up in a tiny ball and keep the world at bay for a little longer… …but she knew she couldn’t do that.

If she didn't know any better, she'd swear her momma, her daddy, the Landrys- _heck_ , _even_ _God_ _himself!_ \- were conspiring to bring her and Chase back together!

* * *

 

Lizzie made her way around the back of the house, her heart pounding in her chest, seemingly in-sync with every step of her feet.  She stopped just before rounding the corner, and gulped in a few deep breaths in an effort to settle herself.  She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, both aggravated and enticed by the smell of crawfish cooking away. Finally, with a great, big deep breath - _and fingernails digging into her palms_ \-  she forced herself around the corner.

Chase was the first person she saw, and he stopped her dead in her tracks. 

_Why was he always the first person she saw?_

He was seated on top of one of the picnic tables, and Cole was perched right next to him.  She watched, barely breathing, as Chase carefully readied a crawfish tail, blew on it, and handed it to Cole.  Her son gobbled it up, and Lizzie couldn’t contain her grin when she looked closer and saw the tell-tale red staining his lips and chin. Her baby obviously loved crawfish as much as the rest of the family!

“Lizzie!” Troy called, jolting her out of her musings. Her eyes just barely met Chase’s when the older Landry walked over and enveloped her in a huge hug.

“How ya been, sweetie?” Troy grinned as he kissed Lizzie on her temple.  Lizzie hugged him back, praying all the while that he wouldn't feel her trembling against him. 

“I’m good! How are you?” Lizzie released him, but Troy kept his arm around her shoulder as he led her over to the picnic table, where baby Cole was impatiently reaching for his mama.

Lizzie stared at her son, doing her best to avoid looking at Chase, and Chase made no move to speak.  It was awkward as hell...

“Everybody’s here now,” Troy laughed, albeit a little uncomfortably, as he plucked Cole off the table and handed the baby to his mama. “Colely been eatin’ up all the crawfish though, I tell ya!”

Lizzie giggled as she snuggled her baby, her heart warming as she caught a whiff of his baby-smell, only now it was mixed with what smelled like cologne and crawfish.  Chase must have been holding him;  she'd know that cologne anywhere.  She glanced up, only to feel her cheeks burning when she caught Chase staring back at her from under the brim of his ball cap. He had a gentle smile on his face…the kind that she wasn’t used to, the kind that made her heart flip-flop in her chest...

_..the kind that scared the ever-loving shit out of her._

“Nice to see ya, Lizzie,” Chase spoke softly as he climbed off the table.  He tickled Cole under his chin, earning a round of giggles from the toddler. Lizzie did her best to not let her eyes wander over the broad expanse of skin that was revealed by his worn tank-top, but it was so hard.  He was so tanned, and so strong, and she could see those tattoos, and-

She gulped hard and dragged her eyes back up to his.  She was sure he was laughing at her, the bastard!

“You been feeding my baby crawfish, Chase Landry?” Lizzie quipped with a raised eyebrow. She’d be damned if she let him see how he affected her! Chase rewarded her with a full-on Landry grin, and Lizzie felt herself blush profusely under his steady gaze.

_Damned she was, apparently, cause that grin went straight to her core, weakening her knees and her resolve - all at the same damn time!_

“A man’s gotta eat, ma cherie,” Chase winked at her, and Lizzie had to look away, she was so flustered!  Beside her, Troy cleared his throat.  Mercifully, for her. 

“Well, let’s go see ya momma and daddy, okay?” Troy jerked his head down to the second set of tables, set a little far back, and Lizzie followed him. She was relieved to be out from under Chase’s playful eyes, if she were to be completely honest.  Even now she could feel him watching her, his gaze boring into her back as he followed her and his father down to the rest of the family. It was unnerving to say the least!

Once they were down with the rest of the family, Lizzie felt much more at ease with herself.  She didn't have to focus on Chase, and he seemed to stay out of the conversation for the most part, preferring to spend most of his time with the little ones. That was also something new for her, and another thing she wasn’t sure how to react to.  Drunk, _more-times-than-not_ obnoxiou _s_ Chase was what she was used to; this quiet, reserved, respectful even, Chase Landry, was something much more peculiar. More than she'd care to admit, she caught herself staring over at him from under her lashes, her eyes curious as she watched him interact with her son, his nephews, and the rest of their combined families. She couldn’t hide her grin when she watched him push Cole on one of the swings, and her son’s delighted giggles filled the air. Her heart warmed at the sight of Cole laughing up at Chase...but just as quickly she felt that lump form in her throat at the scene before her.

 _It should be his daddy pushing him,_ she thought to herself.

_It should be Nathan making Colely laugh like that, not him._

_It should be her husband pushing her son like that, not Chase._

_It should be Nathan that made her heart skip a beat like that…not Chase Landry!_

Feeling her throat constricting, and her heart pounding as she began to panic, Lizzie blinked rapidly behind her sunglasses to keep her tears as bay. Knowing it was a losing battle, she quietly excused herself to her mother and hastily made her way back up to the house. Once inside, she nearly collapsed inside the front door, and she couldn’t control the wracking sobs as they took over her body.  Just when she was about to sink to the floor in a pile of grief, she felt two strong hands pull her into an even stronger chest.  She was still sobbing when Chase carried her over to the guest room in the lower half of the house.  She was crying even harder when he lifted her into his lap, and wrapped his strong arms around her as he settled them in a recliner.

“I’ve got you, Lizzie,” Chase whispered against the top of her head as he hugged her tightly to his chest. “I’ve got you, and I’m not lettin’ go, baby. Not ever again.”

The damn finally broke at his sweet words, and Lizzie cried more that day than she’d ever cried in her life.  More than she’d cried at the funeral.  More than she’d cried when she realized that Nathan was never coming back.

More than she’d ever cried in her entire life.


	20. Chapter 20

“Am I hurting you?” Lizzie mumbled against Chase’s chest as she fiddled with the edge of his shirt.  She had no idea how long they'd been sitting there, secluded in the dark guest room. 

Beneath her, Chase chuckled low in his chest as he shifted her slightly on his lap. “It’s the best kinda pain, don’t worry.”

“Behave Chase Landry!” Lizzie rolled her eyes at his remark, but she couldn't hide her grin. She was still hiccuping occasionally, but her tears had finally dried up, and now her thoughts were in a totally different place.  Sitting on his lap had started a fire within her, and she didn’t know if it was because she was lonely, or if she really wanted Chase, or what it was…and quite frankly she didn’t care.  All she could concentrate on at the moment was the feeling of him pressed against her bottom.

Chase lightly rested his hand at her hip, and the easy way his fingers were rubbing against her jeans was driving her insane. She squirmed restlessly - unconsciously - against him, and she couldn't miss the groan that escaped from Chase. It only served to make her more fidgety, and she moved against him again. This time she felt the evidence of his desire, felt the hard length as it pressed against her so intimately.

“Honey, you gotta stop wigglin’ around if you want me to behave, okay?”  Chase's voice was nearly a growl at her forehead, so tight and controlled as he tried to maintain his composure.  

_Lizzie knew it was now or never..._

Pushing all her fear, and guilt, and worry aside, she reached up and placed her palm against Chase’s cheek, bringing his face down and around to hers. Before she even thought twice, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his. Neither moved, both simply inhaling the other’s breath as their lips stayed pressed together for a few moments.  

Finally, Chase spoke.

“What are you doin’, lizzie?” He lifted his chin slightly, breaking the contact with Lizzie’s lips as his hand tightened against her hip in a show of self-control. 

“Kissing you,” Lizzie whispered as she attempted to kiss him again, but again, Chase leaned back out of her grasp.  Her brows knotted in confusion at what she perceived as rejection.

“Do you not want me to?” she asked him; her voice sounded small in the large room, and she was keenly aware of how she'd just embarrassed herself. She started to get up, but Chase held her in place as he looked down at her. His brown eyes were conflicted, wary even, and Lizzie had no idea what to do in that moment.  She was teetering on the edge, both wanting to kiss him again, and wanting to get up and run away as she always did, when Chase made the decision for her.

Chase wordlessly tilted her chin up, and his heavily-lidded eyes did not leave hers as he leaned forward and placed his lips on hers. Lizzie sighed, almost in relief, as she yielded to him, her fingers clasping his shirt in a bunch as she opened to him. She felt his fingers work their way up her thigh, skim over her ribs, and finally tangle themselves in her hair, as his lips ravaged hers.  What started out as a gentle, almost-chaste kiss had turned into one full of longing and need from both of them. They were devouring each other, barely breathing as they each fought for control;  years of want were poured out in just a matter of moments.  Finally Chase released his grip on her, and slid his lips to the corner of hers.

“I miss you, Lizzie, and I want you so bad,” he murmured against her in a strangled voice, “but I need to make sure this is what you want, sweetie.” He kissed her again, gently, before tilting her chin so that she was forced to look up at him. Lizzie blinked back at him, still dazed from what had just happened.

She had just kissed Chase.

Willingly, brazenly even!

Her heart started pounding against her ribs, and Chase saw the wave of embarrassment and horror that washed over her face.  Once again, he held her tight as she attempted to pull away.

“Don’t do that, Lizzie baby. Don't pull away from me, not now, okay?” Chase gently laced his fingers with hers in another show of possessiveness. He wasn't letting her go.

He wasn't letting her go - not now, not ever...

“Give us a chance, yeah?  Give me a chance, please,” Chase murmured as he pressed his lips against her temple yet again. 

Lizzie looked down at her hand, her eyes focused on the way her fingers fit in-between Chase’s much larger ones. She had an overwhelming urge to get up and run just as she always had with Chase, but somewhere deep inside, deep in some long-forgotten part of her heart, she felt a tiny flicker of hope catch flame. She squeezed his hand, and tore down a piece of the wall that she’d been hiding behind for so long, the one that she’d carefully constructed to protect her all these many years.

“I do want you, Chase,” Lizzie whispered softly, more to herself than to him.  She’d just admitted it out loud, and she felt another piece of that wall tumble to the ground. She stared at their joined hands, waiting for his response. When he said nothing, curiosity got the best of her, and she looked up, and found him smiling. His smile triggered a shy smile of her own, and she felt her cheeks heat under his gaze.  

_Another piece of that wall fell..._

“We’ll go slow, sweetie,” Chase assured her gently. He realized how difficult this was for her, and he was going to do his damnedest to make sure she didn’t regret giving him a second chance. Lord knows he didn’t deserve her!

“Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it,” Chase vowed as he pulled their joined hands up to his lips and kissed the back of her hand tenderly. Lizzie giggled as she nodded towards the door.

“I tihnk right now we should go back outsde before they come looking for us.” She giggled even harder at Chase’s pained look of disappointment, and playfully kissed him on his cheek. “We can talk later, okay? This is a good start.” Lizzie climbed off Chase’s lap and held her hands out to pull him up, and he begrudgingly agreed.

However, once he stood before Lizzie, he quickly took advantage and pulled her back into his arms. Lizzie squealed as Chase crushed her against him, but she didn’t struggle. This was exactly where she wanted to be, where she had wanted to be for so very, very long.

* * *

 

Outside the guest room window, Troy Landry crossed his arms over his chest, and looked up at the sky with a grateful smile. He was thanking God and everyone else for what he'd just accidentally witnessed between his youngest and Elizabeth LaPray. For once in his life, he was appreciative of his son’s hardheadedness, not to mention his perseverance. As he made his way back over to the rest of the family, he didn’t try to hide the smile on his face.

“What’s got you so tickled, Troy Landry?” Bernita asked as her husband lazily draped an arm around her neck.

“He probably found some more crawfish hidin’ in the bottom of the chest,” Jacob teased his father with a grin as he reached over and rubbed his father's substantial belly.  Troy’s eyes narrowed on his son, but even Jacob’s picking couldn't dim the old swamper’s mood.

“Ain’t you supposed to be cleanin’ out my boat, son?” Troy grumbled good naturally as he shucked off his son's hand. 

 

  

“Ah, now you done forgot that Chase and I brought in the biggest gator, so technically you supposed to be cleanin' out our boat, daddy!” Jacob continued his merciless ribbing, much to his father’s dismay. It was still a sore point that Troy had indeed not brought in the biggest gator for their latest bet, and it still stuck in his craw. _Damn kids!_

“Where is Chase, anyway?” Bernita looked around for her son, and then back up at Troy, her eyes curious as she noticed that Lizzie was also missing. "And Lizzie?"

“Taking care of business, Mama. Taking care of business.” Troy kissed his wife on her temple, and slowly led the family back down to the picnic tables. 

A few minutes later, Chase and Lizzie appeared, and much to everyone's delight - _and shock_ \- they were hand in hand as they made their way off the porch and back to the group.   When they released each other, Chase headed over to his brothers and baby Ridge, while Lizzie made her way back over to baby Cole.  

Troy hung back a bit, watching his family. The old man’s heart swelled with happiness as he surveyed the scene before him, and he couldn’t help but think that finally things were righting themselves, just they way they had always meant to be.

 

  


	21. Chapter 21

 

 

Lizzie sat on the back porch, her legs dangling from under the railing, as she watched the cypress trees along the edge of the swamp.  The wind was blowing off and on, the Spanish moss swaying on the branches as the breeze traveled across the bayou.  The frogs were calling for rain, crickets were chirping, and somewhere off in the distance, you could hear the splash of something in the water, maybe an alligator or large fish. 

“You alright?”

Lizzie stiffened as Chase sat down next to her, sitting the same as her, with his legs hanging off the porch.

“I’m good, yeah.” She glanced over at him. “You?”

“Better than I been in a long time, yeah.” Chase grinned back at her. Unable to hold his gaze, Lizzie looked down at his side.

“How’s your wound? Have you been changing it? Has it opened up at all?”

“Stop, Lizzie. Just stop, okay?” Chase chuckled as he leaned over and bumped her with his broad shoulder. “Everything’s good. I’m good. _You’re good._ The kids are good. Our family is good. It’s all good, okay?”

With a sigh, Lizzie looked back out over the water, but remained silent.

“Wanna take the boat out? We could go spotlighting like we used to?” Chase offered.

“Nah, I should probably get back to Cole. My mama-”

“Has him, and she told me to take care of you. Which I plan on doing,” Chase interrupted her with another smile. “All the babies are fine.” He scooted out from the railing and stood, one hand extended to her. “Just come out with me.  Please?” He wiggled his fingers in invitation.

Shaking, Lizzie placed her hand in his and allowed him to help her up. Before she could even think, he had pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Her hand pressed against the center of his chest, Lizzie stared at the patch of hair that was peeking out over his fresh tee-shirt. Her heart pounded in her ears.

“Why you shakin’?” Chase’s lips moved against her forehead ever so gently.

“You scare me, Chase.” Lizzie answered honestly. “You always have, but now, it’s worse. I don’t know why.”

“Because there’s more at stake this time.” Chase squeezed her tightly against his chest. “I’m not stupid, Lizzie. I know what I’m doing, and I know what I don’t ever wanna do again.” He leaned back and stared down at her. When she wouldn’t look at him, he pulled her chin up with his rough fingers, forcing her eyes to meet his. He saw the fear there, clear as day. “I know it’s hard, but can you trust me? _Just a little. Please?_ I am not that guy anymore. I’m not.”

All Lizzie could do was nod up at him. Words seemed too much of a commitment. Chase seemed to understand her hesitancy.

“Alright, ma’am. Let’s get you some waders and let’s go, then.” Chase released her, but held tight to her hand as he led her over to the end of the porch. He grabbed a pair of white waders and turned them over as he shook them. “Gotta make sure it’s all safe.” He winked at Lizzie, and her nose wrinkled in disgust.

“Don’t even say it, Chase Michael! I know you hate them just as much as I do!” Lizzie warily eyed the boot, knowing that any moment one of those horrid creatures might crawl out! Chase grimaced in agreement at the thought of those eight-legged monsters hiding in the boot. He dropped the boot on the ground with a resounding thud.

“Yeah, you’re damn right I do. Nasty little assholes.” He kicked the boots with his own booted foot, and feeling satisfied they were clear, Chase helped Lizzie slide her tennis shoe into the wader. In doing so, his hands might have lingered a little too long on her calf, and Lizzie felt her cheeks heat as he looked up at her from where he was kneeling before her. Lizzie shook her head at him, but couldn’t hide the grin that crept up on her either.

Damn him.

Still, she did her best to pretend like she was unaffected…

“I dunno, I kinda like you kneeling at my feet,” she teased as she reached down and snatched his ball cap off his head. Chase arched an eyebrow and stood up to his full height. He'd not moved back, and as he rose, his body pressed flush against hers; Lizzie felt her breath hitch at the look in his eyes, and she quickly looked away.

“I agree. I’d stay down there” — _Chase_ _nodded_ _down there_ —“forever, if you’d let me. As I recall, you kinda liked me bein’ down there.”

Lizzie gasped, her cheeks flaming red, and her mouth dropping open in shock at his words. While she was still searching for a comeback, Chase laughed as he pulled his hat from her hand, and settled it back on his head. He grabbed her hand and pulled her with him to the boat. Lizzie was still at a loss for words as Chase helped her into the boat. Once she was seated, and he’d pushed them off from the bank, she finally found her voice. It was quiet, barely loud enough to be heard over the bayou, but loud enough for Chase.

“No promises, okay?” Lizzie shook her head as she stared at him. “I can’t do promises right now, okay?”

“I’m just messing with you, sweetie. I’ll quit, I swear.” Chase placed a hand over his heart for emphasis, and used the other one to steer the boat out over the water. Lizzie looked down at her hands, folded in her lap, and swallowed the lump in her throat. Swallowed her pride, and her fear, and everything else that was trying to come up.

“Don’t quit, Chase. For both of us, please don’t quit.” Lizzie used the back of her hand and wiped at a tear that had escaped. She looked up and saw that Chase was smiling back at her.

“I won’t, Lizzie-baby. I won’t quit. Not ever again.”

Lizzie smiled back at him, a wobbly, tearful smile, but a smile nonetheless. Chase’s grin grew.

“Now, you ready to go catch some gators?” Chase looked out over the water, his keen brown eyes searching for those tell-tale red dots.

“ _Catch_? You said spotlight! You didn’t say catch!” Lizzie’s eyes grew wild as she looked around at the dark water floating past. She looked back at Chase, her eyes narrowed as she saw that he was laughing at her. He was teasing her again, the big jerk!

“What?” Chase laughed again, doing his best to appear innocent. This time Lizzie joined in on the laughter. She had missed his playful banter, had missed his laughing and joking and picking on her as he was wont to do.

 _Had missed him_.

It had been a long time since she’d laughed like that. Had been an even longer time that she’d been cruising down the bayou late at night, the wind whipping through her hair and not a care in the world. It had been a long time for all of it.

 

  

 

 

 


	22. Chapter 22

They were silent the majority of the ride; the only one that spoke was Chase when he pointed out the occasional gator that they came up on. For Lizzie, it was perfect. She was happy with the silence, and happy to be back out on the water that she loved. With her arms folded over her knees, she was almost lulled into a peaceful sleep when Chase cut the motor.  As she opened her eyes, she watched as the boat drifted to a small building along the near bank.

“What’s wrong?” Lizzie turned back to stare at Chase. He was busy maneuvering the boat to dock.

“I wanna show you somethin’,” he called to her as he stepped over the side of the boat and onto the small wooden pier. He quickly tied the boat off, and reached out to Lizzie.

“Come with me?” He held his hand out to her. Lizzie hesitated, full of uncertainty as she looked at his outstretched hand.

“Chase…I don’t know. I just…” she shook her head as she looked between the cabin and Chase. 

“Please? I just want you to come see. Nothin’ funny, I swear.” Chase was serious, she could tell, and Lizzie took his hand...though she was shaking the entire time.

Chase helped her over the side of the boat, and onto the wooden pier. Her hand still firmly held by his, she followed him up to the small cabin. As she got closer, she could see it wasn’t so small, and was in fact a two-story, if her eyes served her correctly. 

 

 

_“What is this?”_ Lizzie asked as he opened the door and led her in.

“My home away from home,” Chase grinned as he turned on a light. The small room lit up, causing Lizzie to gasp as she took it all in. It was practically a house! And it was indeed two-stories, as evidenced by the stairs in the corner.

**It was amazing.**

_And so not like Chase._

There was matching furniture in the living area. 

_Matching furniture!_

 A table with four chairs in the kitchen area.  He even had rugs on the floor. **_Rugs!_**  Lizzie dropped Chase’s hand and walked around the room, her eyes growing wider as she surveyed the small house.

“When did you do this?”

“I’ve been working on it for a few years, repairin’ it, that kinda stuff. Lynds' did the decorating, I can’t take credit for that.” Chase chuckled wryly, drawing Lizzie’s eyes back to him. He was standing near the door still, looking very uncomfortable.  

Awkward.

_Unsure, even._

“It’s nice, Chase. Very nice.” Lizzie smiled, and Chase let out the breath he had seemed to be holding in. She turned back around and walked over to the kitchen area. “Have you cooked in here yet?”

“Nah,” Chase replied. He pulled his hat off and ran a hand through his unruly hair. “I got a pit out there. A few times, Jake and I cooked what we caught, but I ain’t cooked in here yet.”

Lizzie ran her fingers along the small table, tracing the intricate wooden _fleur-de-lis_ engraved along the edge.  Jacob’s wife had great taste in furniture, that was for sure. Lizzie continued walking, and made her way over to the windows that opened out onto Lake Verret.  She crossed her arms over her chest and stared out over the dark water.  It was quiet here, no sound save for the wind blowing across the water.  

“Why did you bring me here, Chase?”

“I just wanted to show you this place. I thought you might like it, is all.” Chase hadn’t moved closer, was still standing by the door. Lizzie turned around and saw that he was leaned up against the door, his brown eyes wary as he stared back at her.  Seeing her gazing back at him, he shook his head.  “I’m not trying nothin’, Lizzie, I swear. I’m just trying to show you how I changed.”

Lizzie continued staring at him. She couldn’t quite determine what she was feeling right now, but nervous would be a good start. She knew that up those stairs was probably a bed. Hell, not 5 feet away was a couch. Anything could happen.

_And for the first time in a long time, she wanted it to happen._

_With Chase._

Her heart pounded in her chest as she walked towards him. She watched as Chase swallowed, his prominent Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he did so. She stopped before him, arms still crossed over her chest.

“If I asked you to kiss me, would you?” Her words were a mere whisper.

Chase swallowed again, but nodded. "Hell yes. In a heartbeat.”

“Kiss me, Chase,” Lizzie whispered again. She slowly unwrapped her arms from around her chest, and placed them up and around Chase’s broad shoulders, her hands finding their way up into the messy hair at the nape of his neck. He moved closer, into her arms, and cupped her cheeks with his rough hands. His thumbs traced over her jawline, his warm, brown eyes bored down into hers.

“I didn’t bring you here for this, Lizzie.” Chase’s lips flattened. “I promise.”

“I know you didn’t.” Lizzie leaned up on her tip-toes and nuzzled his chin with her nose. “Please kiss me.”

When Chase hesitated a moment too long, Lizzie took matters into her own hands, and reached up and dragged his face down to hers. She pressed her lips against his, delighting in the feel of his body against hers. The smell of his skin - a mixture of cologne and the Louisiana bayous - was like coming home. She moaned when she felt his hand tilt her head back, giving him better access to her mouth and throat.

“We”- _he kissed along her jaw_ — “don’t have to do this if you don’t want.” He planted a kiss against her throat, and Lizzie shivered in need.  Still holding her, Chase walked them over to the stairs, their feet moving in chaotic tandem as they fumbled with each other's clothes.  Chase's shirt came off at the bottom of the stairs, followed quickly by both their shoes. Chase released Lizzie, and with a grin, bent down and lifted her at the back of knees, pulling her up his body.  

"I can't let you go, not even to get up the stairs," he murmured as he lifted her, and then helped her wrap her legs around his waist.

Holding on for dear life, Lizzie giggled against his neck as he quickly ran them up the stairs...


	23. Chapter 23

 

Chase stopped at the top of the stairs, and Lizzie slid down his body. Her lips curved up in a nervous smile as she backed away from him. Chase stared back, his brown eyes as dark as sin as he watched her.

“Where you think you’re going?” Chase’s gruff voice was practically dripping with raw desire, and Lizzie had to bite her lip to keep the moan from escaping.  She squeezed her legs together, doing her best to quell the fire between them.  She was very, very aroused.

_She was also very, very, very nervous._

**_Very._ **

She stumbled backwards, her right hand fumbling for the knob on the door of the only room upstairs.  Chase took a step forward.

“Is this…is this the… _the bedroom?_ ” Lizzie stuttered out as she turned the handle.  She nearly fell inside the room when the door opened. She was so damn nervous!

She continued backing away from him as Chase continued stalking towards her.  He grabbed his ball-cap off his head and tossed it aside. His sunglasses followed next.  The way he was looking at her was almost menacing in it's seriousness, and she shivered under his gaze.  His jaw was tense, the deep lines in his cheeks flexing every so often as he stared back at her.  

“Yes, indeed.” His eyes narrowed on her as he waited, his eyes watching her every move.  

Visibly shaking, Lizzie kept going backwards, stumbling and tripping over her own feet until the back of her legs bumped into the mattress and halted her. 

“And that’s” - Chase nodded down at the bed behind her - _“the bed.”_

Looking over her shoulder, Lizzie gulped, desperately trying to swallow down some of her anxiety. When she turned back around, Chase was mere inches from her. She painfully swallowed again as she stared at his prominent Adam’s apple.

“You let your mouth overload your ass, didn’t ya?” Chase knowingly smirked down at her.  Feeling almost hysterical, Lizzie couldn’t help it, and burst out laughing at his remark.

“Oh god! I am pathetic!” She laughed again as she dropped her head down against his chest, her fingers twisting in the thin fabric of his tee-shirt. For all her bravado downstairs, once she got down to the act, all her confidence flew out the window. _She was ridiculous!_

“You’re not pathetic, sweetie,” Chase murmured as he ran his hands up and down her arms. He pressed a sweet kiss to the top of her head. “I understand.” He kissed her hair again.

“I want this, Chase.” Lizzie mumbled against his chest. “I do. I…I want you. I do. It’s just been so long. And I just…you know…I don’t know what I’ll…like what if you…you know, what if you-”

Chase cupped her cheeks with his large, calloused hands and pulled her face up to his as he claimed her lips.  All coherent thought went out the window as Lizzie felt his mouth on hers. His lips were warm as they moved over hers, soft and supple as the pulled and tugged at her lips. His thumbs traced back and forth over her cheeks as he pulled back to stare down at her.  Lizzie stared back, her lips parted as she panted.

“We got all night, baby,” Chase whispered as his thumb traced back and forth over her lower lip.

Her heart pounding against her ribs, and her eyes never leaving his, Lizzie tilted her chin up so that she could nip at his thumb. She watched as his nostrils flared at her action, and her breath caught at the feeling of him pressed against her. _She could feel how much he wanted her._  How hard he was as he pressed against her belly.  She was scared to death, but her body seemed to have a mind of it’s own. That tiny little part that was screaming at her to run away was quickly drowned out by the much larger part that wanted this man before her.

**God how she wanted him!**

She nipped at him again, and slowly ran one shaky hand up the center of his chest. His heart was pounding against her palm - just as hard and fast as hers - and with a wobbly smile, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to the area over his heart. She inhaled deeply, committing his scent to memory. Chase’s hand fisted in her hair, allowing her to nuzzle him for just a moment, before he pulled her back.

His eyes had grown even darker, his mouth taut, as he ran his fingers along the edge of her shirt. Lizzie nodded, silently giving him permission.

Chase moved his hand down to the hem of her shirt and quickly pulled it up and over her head. Lizzie flushed under his gaze, her insecurities coming front and center as he stared at her breasts. Lizzie flushed again at her apparel, remembering what she had put on that morning...

“It’s a nasty sports bra. I didn’t know that-”

Chase took her breath away as he leaned down and nuzzled the area between her breasts, his gritty scruff almost painful as he dragged his lips and nose across the sensitive skin of her chest not covered with fabric. Lizzie tangled her fingers in his hair, holding him to her as he kissed along her collarbone. Her breath was coming in short pants as she struggled to breathe, and her knees were practically knocking together as she trembled on her feet. 

 _“Jes-us, baby,”_ Chase murmured as he pushed her back against the bed.  He held her in his strong hands as he gently lay her down on top of the mattress. “You are beautiful.”

Shy and embarrassed, Lizzie tried to cover herself with her hands, using them to shield her breasts from his view, but Chase was not having it. With a smile, he gently pulled her hands off and lifted them so that they were gathered above her head, forcing her breasts to thrust upward. He leaned down and pressed his mouth against a nipple that was straining against the fabric of her bra, and Lizzie nearly came unglued.

The feel of his hot, moist mouth against her, wetting her, nipping at her through the bra, sent a shock through her body. She broke out in goosebumps as Chase laved first one, and then the other nipple, pulling each of them into an almost-painful, tingling, hardness. His hands traveled around her back and lifted her, quickly undoing the bra, and then pulled it from her shoulders.  He tossed it on the floor.

“You alright?” He asked as he lay down next to her. At a loss for words, Lizzie nodded up at him. As soon as Chase had stripped her of her bra, she’d quickly covered herself again with her hands, and was still clutching her breasts. With a smirk, and a shake of his head, Chase reached for her.

“Why you keep coverin' yourself?” Chase asked as he pulled her hands away again, and again placed them above her head in their previous spot. “Don't you have any idea how fuckin’ hot you are right now?”

He let go of her hands and cupped her right breast, forcing it up as he brought his lips back down to her taut nipple. When his mouth engulfed her, Lizzie felt a gush of wetness pool between her legs, and she couldn’t hold in the moan that escaped. She writhed under him as he licked at her, each touch of his lips and tongue driving her wild. She brought her hands down and clutched at his head, holding him against her as he continued licking and sucking her nipples. She pushed at his shoulders, wanting more. Needing more, but unable to say it.

Chase leaned up, saw the look in her eyes, and quickly removed his shirt.

“Better?” he huskily whispered as he lay back down next to her.  Lizzie nodded.  Chase nuzzled her temple as he gathered her to his side.  “Do you know how long I been thinkin’ about this?” He kissed her temple, nuzzling her again with his nose.  

Lizzie stiffened, and grabbed his arm. “Chase?”

“Yeah, baby?” Chase kissed her again, gently, as his hands continued to roam.  

“I need you to make love to me right now, and I need it to be fast. Before I change my mind.” Lizzie’s grip on his forearm tightened as her resolve lessened. Chase leaned up, his brows drawn together in confusion.

“What? I don’t wanna do this if you don’ wanna-”

 _“Stop talking!”_ Lizzie ordered him as she pushed at his shoulders, forcing him back onto his back and crawled over him. Without waiting, she quickly stripped herself of her jeans and panties, and then set about pulling Chase’s jeans and boxers down. Wide-eyed, Chase panted below her, a mixture of shock, confusion, and desire - all three leaving him nearly powerless beneath her. And before he knew what had happened, Lizzie had unzipped his pants and stripped him bare.  She tugged until she had his jeans and boxers pooled around his knees...and then she was sliding down his painfully hard length.

 ** _“Fuu-ck!”_** Chase groaned as he grabbed her by the hips. Lizzie closed her eyes, had her head thrown back, and was biting her lip as she clawed at his waist for leverage. She undulated her hips, rocking back and forth as she rode him. It was shameless, the way she maneuvered her body over his, and she was completely oblivious to everything but the feeling.  

Chase knew it was wrong, knew this wasn’t how he had planned it, but there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to stop it short of kicking her off of him. Gritting his teeth, he dug his fingers into Lizzie’s hips to hold her still — _anything to delay what was bound to come_ — but she had already started quivering, her thighs trembling, her inner walls clinching him tightly, as her orgasm washed over her.  Shaking and jerking, she called out his name once, and then collapsed on his chest. It was literally not even a minute from start to finish, and then it was over.

Chase lay there for what seemed like eternity, still hard as a rock as he was buried inside her, but afraid to move. Afraid to breathe. He didn’t know what to do. His fingers slowly released their grip on Lizzie’s thighs, and cautiously made their way up to rest on her upper back.  He tenderly kissed the top of her head.

He still had no idea what he was supposed to be doing right now. This was not what he’d had in mind. Not at all.  He had never seen Lizzie behave this way, and as much as it turned him on, it also scared the shit outta him.  

“Lizzie?” He ventured, his voice a husky whisper in the too-quiet room.

All he got back from her was a slight tensing of her body.

“Lizzie? Baby?” He tried again.  Lizzie continued to ignore him.  Chase wasn't having this, either. No more how ding, no more avoiding. No sir!  He gently pried her off of him, and rolled her onto her back so that she lay next to him.  She was stiff as a board, her eyes still tightly closed;  he smiled as he watched her nibble on her lower lip.  One eye cracked open to see him staring down at her.  

His hooded gaze swept over her body, causing Lizzie to flush with embarrassment.

“I love when you blush like that,” Chase snickered as he leaned down and kissed her again. “All over your chest, your belly…your thighs…” he ran a rough hand down her thigh for emphasis. Lizzie shivered, her skin breaking out in goosebumps at his touch.

“I wish you would stop staring at me,” she grumbled as she flung her forearm back over her eyes.  At least she could pretend, right?  If she couldn’t see him, he couldn’t see her!

“Ain’t gonna happen, baby,” Chase chuckled again. He pulled her arm away from her face. “Look at me, babe. Lizzie. Open your eyes.”

She did as he asked, even though she found it hard to hold his gaze.  

“Can you tell me what happened a few minutes ago?” Chase pulled her hand to him and kissed the back of it. “Help me understand.”

Lizzie flushed again.

“If I said I didn’t know, would that be okay?” Lizzie clenched her eyes shut, a mixture of deep embarrassment and shame. _How could she explain what the hell had just happened, when she didn't even know?_   She would rather they just forgot about it!

“If it’s okay with you, it’s okay with me, baby.” Chase ran a finger up the side of her face, his the rough pad tracing her jawline. “I wish you would just talk to me, Lizzie. Talk to me so I can help.”

Lizzie opened her eyes again to stare up at Chase.  He caught her eyes again. 

“I mean, you did just use me for your personal pleasure.” Chase smirked back at her, one eyebrow arched. Lizzie gasped - _and then blushed even harder_ \- but this time she couldn’t control the snort-giggle that escaped. Chase laughed with her as he nodded his head. “Well, you did, woman!”

“And are you complaining, Chase Landry?” Lizzie shot back, still grinning. She tentatively reached up and pushed some of his hair back off his forehead. Her grin faded as a crease formed between her brows.

“I’m sorry about that. I don’t know what happened. I just…I just needed you, I guess.” Lizzie painfully swallowed. The truth was hard to admit. Her blue eyes met Chase’s brown eyes. He was solemn, patient as he waited for her to continue. _“I need you.”_

There.

She’d said it.

_Out loud._

**_And there was no taking it back._ **

She swallowed her nerves again.

Chase leaned down and kissed her, sweetly pressing his lips to hers. This was not a passionate kiss; this was a kiss of acceptance. A kiss of understanding. A kiss that told her he got it, that he got what she was trying to tell him.

_A kiss that told her he needed her, too._

She reached up and ran her fingers into the thick, coarse hair at the base of his neck, holding him to her. Chase leaned up to look down at her.  

“Make love to me, Chase.” She nodded up at him as her fingers worked in and out of his hair. “The right way. Make love to me, please.” She gave him a small, timid smile. “Please.”

There was an almost-visible sigh from him, and without a word, Chase leaned down and captured her lips again, only this time it was full of passion and desire, and everything else they’d let pile up between them over the years. Both moaned deep in their chests as their tongues met and teeth clashed. Almost frantically, Chase kicked at his jeans with his feet, forcing them the rest of the way off - along with his boxers - all the while maintaining the kiss between them.  Once he was completely nude, he pushed one of Lizzie’s legs down, allowing him to settle in-between them. Feeling him pressed so hard and hot against her inner thigh, Lizzie squirmed restlessly. She could feel the wetness seeping down the back of her thigh, could feel how ready for him she was.  

"I don't have a condom," Chase growled as he dropped his forehead to hers.  "Fuck!"  Frustrated, his fingers balled into the sheets surrounding Lizzie's head.  

"We'll take our chances,"  Lizzie breathed out as she squirmed in such a way that the head of his cock was pressed against her entrance.  She brazenly wiggled her hips, doing her best to pull him into her.  "Chase, please..."  

His entire body trembling with restraint, Chase pushed himself back up to meet her eyes.  "You sure?"  

Lizzie lifted first one leg, and then the other, wrapping them both around Chase's waist.  Her fingers gripped his shoulders, her nails digging little moon-shaped marks into his tanned skin.   As she wiggled her hips, she bit her lip as her core came in contact with the hot heat of his cock.  One hand slid down his side, grasping at his lower back to pull him to her, and she dug the heel of her right foot into his ass cheek, trying to force him inside.  

"You ain't got to tell me twice," Chase grunted as he pressed into her.  Lizzie groaned at the intrusion, her mouth falling open as Chase stretched her wide.  He was thick, and hard, and seemed to fill her up to the very brim as he continued to slowly sink into her.  With one final push, he groaned deep in his chest as he bottomed out.  He dropped his forehead against hers again, their sweat mingling as they touched.  

"Chase..." Lizzie whined as she started rolling her hips in need.  She was aching between her legs, a deep, throbbing pulse that needed to be sated.  The walls of her pussy clenched involuntarily, causing both of them to gasp at the pleasure.  

Chase started rocking his hips, pulling himself all the way out to the tip, and then slowly sliding back in, each thrust progressively harder than the one prior.  His hand gripped the outside of Lizzie's thigh, pulling it up and around his waist as he tried to get closer, tried to get in deeper.  Lizzie whimpered, her eyes clenched shut, and she held onto him as he continued thrusting,  in and out. Desperate to get closer, and unable to help himself, Chase pulled one of her legs up and draped it over his shoulder, forcing their bodies into a different angle. Forcing his cock to hit her at a deeper angle as he slid in and out.  He watched as her breasts bounced against him, watched as her breath became more and more labored with each thrust.  And just when he started feeling that tingling at the base of his spine, just when he felt that heat start to radiate out from his groin, he reached down and started rubbing her clit with his rough thumb.   He knew he wouldn't last much longer, but he was gonna be sure she came again.   

"Come on, baby!" He encouraged her, forcing his cock into her over and over in tune with each swipe of his thumb against her wet clit.  Each snap of his hips brought them closer to the edge, each swipe of his thumb at her wet, aching clit had Lizzie breathing harder and harder as she struggled to find her release.  

With pants and whimpers, Lizzie started trembling again, her thighs shaking around him.  She clawed at his shoulders, at his forearms, anywhere she could reach as her grip on reality began to lessen as she got closer to coming.  Chase gritted his teeth, forcing himself to hold back even as he could feel her walls beginning to clench around his cock, could feel the tremors beginning to rack her body as her orgasm finally began to engulf her.  Desperate for his own release, he flicked at her clit again, rubbing her wetness all around in a frantic circle until, with a breathy cry, she finally exploded around him.  Satisfied, and with a guttural cry of his own, Chase slammed into her one last time, his cock jerking repeatedly as he pumped into her.  He kept thrusting until he couldn't, and then, finally spent, he stilled between her legs.  He could feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest, it was hard to breathe.  He dropped his head against her neck, too weak to hold it up any longer.  

Underneath him, Lizzie smiled...

 


End file.
